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06/03/2005 12:14:56 AM · #101 |
Originally posted by kpriest:
Originally posted by hankk:
How do you know your parents were oblivious? |
Trust me, they were oblivious. My dad was pretty abusive and controlling, but was rarely home. My mom (God bless her) was the doting wife that avoided conflict at all costs. By the age of 12, I had cut access holes all over the house to get into the attic, I built a rail system up there (got the idea from "The Great Escape"), had a mattress, most of my dad's liquor, all of his guns (he didn't even remember where he put 'em) and it was my party pad! I lived up there for a few years. When my parents thought I went to my room, I would just go into the closet, up through the secret hole I cut in the ceiling and into my pad! From there, I could get out another access hole onto the roof and off I go! I had friends up there partying all the time.
So there you have it - O b l i v i o u s. :)
Geez, Looks like I have to read a bunch more since I was here this morning... |
When I build my own house can I hire you to design the escape system?
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06/03/2005 12:21:03 AM · #102 |
Originally posted by NathanW:
When I build my own house can I hire you to design the escape system? |
Count me in! Did I mention I had the place totally wired! I was an electronics nut and learned everything the hard way - like you shouldn't strip the insulation off live wires with your teeth. :(
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06/03/2005 01:30:47 AM · #103 |
I am still trying to read this thread. We had such bad weather today, all computer and game consoles were unplugged most of the time. I had a few minutes in between storms to get on-line but only for a few minutes. It did give me time today to talk with my son about this issue and I had him to read this article that I printed out last night. Even he was surprised.
Thanks everyone that has offered there opinions. I will try to read everyone of your post in this thread. I found the site last night that sheds some light on the Internet and why we need to protect our children. It is from California and I printed it out. Here is the article if you would like to read.
Protect Our Kids |
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06/03/2005 01:42:06 AM · #104 |
| install a keyloger from download.com and have all the keystrokes sent to your e-mail automatically whenever you want, even while hes using the computer. only problem is that any anti spyware program might detect this software. |
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06/03/2005 01:47:30 AM · #105 |
| You can create an IM account and talk to him in disguise from the family room computer. That would be so funny. |
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06/03/2005 01:55:57 AM · #106 |
Originally posted by autobahn123:
You can create an IM account and talk to him in disguise from the family room computer. That would be so funny. |
Been there, done that. I acted like some 13 year old kid and jumped in to chat with my daughter and her friends to see what it would reveal. Now this I felt might have been crossing the trust line with the kids and I quit doing it after a very brief trial because I started feeling very guilty and creeped out about it.
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06/03/2005 02:32:25 AM · #107 |
| It all starts at an early age but it's never too late. Talk to your kids about everything as it becomes age appropriate. Trust isn't automatic, it's built day by day. I am a single parent and I have two kids, boy and girl over 21 now. I let them know at a very young age that telling me a lie would cause me to be entirely more upset than telling me what really happened, but at the same time,I allowed them to be able to come to me with the truth, without fear that I would be unreasonable. I also always made it a point to know who all their friends were. We have always talked about everything under the sun. They have always brought all sorts of problems to me to discuss because they know that I will try my best to see their side and treat them fair while still being a parent. It's your duty as a parent to keep an eye on your children's activity, you are there to raise them and protect them and mostly guide them until they are of age to make their own way in life. All kids go through rebellious stages, mine did, and it's tough, but you have to be firm but fair. All you can do is give them a foundation and guidance and hope they use that in making good decisions. People compliment me all the time about how my kids have turned out. My daughter went to ministry college, and has become the best mother I know. My son is 21, holds two jobs, loves rap music, video games, paintball, but yet, never cusses, doesn't smoke or drink and hates drugs, and tries to talk others out of doing these things.I know all this because everyone tells me how amazing they are. But I got to know my kids as people, so I already knew how amazing they are. I bet the parents of the Columbine children wish they had paid a little more attention to what their kids were up to. |
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06/03/2005 03:36:54 AM · #108 |
Originally posted by jmlelii:
Originally posted by swinging_johnson_v1:
I am a parent of 3.
I have to agree with kpriest about the "if your not a parent" thing.
I too was going to mention RAdmin.
But one more thing. I go a step further. I have administration capabilities on the kids computers. They can't just download crap without a password.
I also don't let them have television, computers or the xbox in the privacy of their rooms. Music is ok.
Teenagers are a weird breed of cat, and to encourage them to be even more disjointed from the family enviroment by letting them retreat to their bedroom to me is just asking for trouble in the long run.
Just another of many opinions I have. |
No TV in the room? Holy cow. If I were your kid, I'd of run away by now lol.
On a more serious note. This being from a kids perspective...
Not that Im a kid, but im close enough that I can speak for them.
My parents are in no way Computer Savvy. My mom can load the computer, play games, and she uses officeworks type programs and thats all. My dad cant even spell, let alone find the on button ;) The fact of the matter is, Kids know a lot more about new technology than that of their parents. I always have.
I think you might be going a bit paranoid, besides... if the kid cant find it on the computer (whatever if is you think he is hiding from you) he can surely find it in other places. Fact of the matter is, things are going to happen no matter how much space of his you invade. Life is about experimenting, failure, heartache, pain, its how we learn. I think parents now a days are so over protective of their kids, and I blame it on the Internet.
To me, anything that can happen on the internet, could happen at the local mall. Different settings, same concepts. For Example...
Scenario 1:
You say he hides all his IMs, Browser Windows, etc... I used to do the same thing when my parents came in. By doing this they feel a tad more protected that you cant see whatever it is your son and Johny did the weekend prior.
Scenario 1:
You drop your kid and a few of his friends at the mall. As soon as you leave, what do you think those kids are doing? Yelling obscene language, chasing girls, doing what teenagers do. As soon as you pull up to pick them up, they all because quiet and all the bad talk stops, or *minimizing their IMs and Browsers*.
That make sense?
In my honest opinion, just let your kid live. No matter how many restrictions you put on, no many how many times you view the sites hes been going to, hes going to continue it, whether it at your house, or his buddies house. No matter what, its gonna happen.
9 out of 10 times, kids make the right decisions if you raised them to trust you, and you trust them. I'll probably get flamed for this, but oh well. |
This is the point I was trying to make earlier, but you said it so much better. Kids are gonna do what they are gonna do no matter what YOU as a parent do.
June
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06/03/2005 03:52:05 AM · #109 |
Hey, here is the answer you are looking for. I have used these programs in the past and they work. If you get a good one it will record both ends of a conversation in MSN, Yahoo and all the others. Basically it stays in the background and records the keystrokes. You can then go in later and view the log files.
//www.kmint21.com/keylogger/
//www.spyarsenal.com/familykeylogger/
//www.blazingtools.com/downloads.html#bpklite
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06/03/2005 10:56:18 AM · #110 |
Originally posted by kpriest:
As far as non-parents advice or insight - I do appreciate it and welcome it and listen with an open mind - but I can tell you that it is much like an Army sergeant with no experience in battle, telling hardened war vets what to do in this situation or that situation. You can reason things out theoretically, but there are way more variables than most people realize. |
If you reall did appreciate it, why would you feel it necesary to write the above contradictory statement? Just asking.
Originally posted by kpriest:
And to those of you who got through it without any problems and without spying or being spyed on, good for you! You and/or your parents are exceptional! :) |
I would say that they and their parents are normal/average. Most people don't run into or have the major super scary problems that some people have. Unfortunately, the news media makes every single case look like it happens everyday to every single person, all the time.
Now, that doesn't mean that bad things won't ever happen to you and yours. That's why people need to communicate with their children and understand what their children are doing. All of that can be done without having to resort to spying.
Your kid wants to go to a friend's house? Not if there won't be parents home.
Your kid wants you to drop him/her off at the mall to meet friends? Take your kid to the mall with those friends or walk into the mall and make certain your kid is meeting friends and not some 45 year sicko.
I know, it's so much easier said then done, but that's part of being a parent. If someone isn't willing to put their children first and do those simple tasks, then they should never have become parents in the first place. Once children enter the picture, everything is for them, they aren't fashion accessories, they aren't going to raise themselves, they aren't something to put aside whenever you feel like it. |
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06/03/2005 11:17:19 AM · #111 |
Originally posted by SDW65:
Here is the article if you would like to read.
Protect Our Kids |
There are some interesting things on that page.
I do have one or two comments though.
Reported missing and actually missing are two *VERY* different things. I don't know how they gathered those numbers, but without the raw data it is very possible that many of those reports could be of the same child being reported by multiple concerned family members. Counting multiple reports of the same child can dramatically inflate those numbers.
If the statement was "825,600 per year are confirmed missing", I would be quite alarmed, since that would mean most every family in the US would have children permanently lost. That would be something to be seriously concerned about.
The rest of those statistics also don't provide any links to the data or the methods they used to reach those results.
Seriously, 1 in 17 has been harrassed in the last year? I got harrassed almost daily when I was in school. I got harrassed via the telephone when I was home from school. If the Internet was around in thh state it is today, back then, I would have been harrassed through Instan Messages. To me, that statistic carries no weight or merit.
That last one about 60% getting an Instant message from a stranger? Heh, back when I was using AOL and later when I regularly used Instant Messenger programs, I would get messages from strangers from time to time and most of the time, I would respond. None of them resulted in someone looking for anything other then conversation. Again, there is another statistic that carries no real meaning or weight.
From the looks of that page, it seems like advertising material to help sell their Internet Cop software.
Again, I am not saying that bad things won't happen. I just feel that a better source of information should be provided regarding how those statitics were gathered/created and what those statistics actually mean. |
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