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05/25/2005 10:23:24 PM · #26 |
Strictly follow form?
Or relax the rules a bit
and risk a DQ?
Nordlys |
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05/25/2005 10:31:13 PM · #27 |
dreaming of a win
in the dream challenge.. ahhhhhh.. but
DQ knocked me out : (
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05/25/2005 10:41:46 PM · #28 |
Originally posted by zeuszen:
Like all good pommes, haiku is about syncing sound and sense. To transport the whole thing, relatively intact, into English, I say, forget the 5-7-5 and follow your English or American ears. That is, after all, how the Japanese arrived at it. |
Whiskey on coaster.
CF card full. Soul empty.
Camera needs a drink.
Message edited by author 2005-05-25 22:47:44.
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05/26/2005 12:01:42 AM · #29 |
note: I pronounce "camera" as two syllables
day changes to night
shutter blinks goodbye to sun
soft slow fade to dark
or
lens is not enough
camera fails to capture it
no way to trap time
or
photos call to me
singing, sighing, beating drums
music for my eyes |
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05/26/2005 12:20:47 AM · #30 |
I hate this distance
Between us...
600mm.
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05/26/2005 12:55:44 AM · #31 |
How to make "haikus:"
Take a dove and put it in
a very tall tree.
Get it? |
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05/26/2005 03:30:41 AM · #32 |
Originally posted by xtabintun:
I think poetry
is just a big waste of time
I don't write any |
ROFLMAO
And How
Me neither
...but an occasional limerick.
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05/26/2005 03:37:19 AM · #33 |
Originally posted by Nordlys:
Originally posted by bear_music:
I wrote some lines
as a comment on a pic ΓΆ€”
mine? Yours? I forget. |
Master poet bear
perplexes computer geek
by a line of four.
Nordlys |
The "rule" 0f 5-7-5 is entirely arbitrary. No such equivalent exists (or even CAN exist) in Japanese. There is considerable debate, that swirls on and on forever, as to what constitutes a "correct" Haiku in English. Follow ZZ's advice and let your ear take you where it wishes, would be my take on the whole thing.
Actually, in one sense very few of these are even close to Haiku, which properly involve some reference to a time or a season, and need to be veiled in innuendo pretty much as well. They're very quiet little poems, meant to evoke a feeling or connection. They are antithetical to the narrative trend of modern poetry.
Robt.
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05/26/2005 03:43:02 AM · #34 |
Late computer glow
Verse new and lovely to me
Timid keytaps, ENTER
Message edited by author 2005-05-26 03:46:57. |
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05/26/2005 03:50:52 AM · #35 |
seeing and shooting:
immortalizing colors.
photos coming soon.
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05/26/2005 04:40:59 AM · #36 |
What is all this crap?
I don't want to read poems.
Let's see some photos! |
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05/26/2005 05:31:57 AM · #37 |
Rectangular life
Captured by my camera
Beautiful and fresh
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05/26/2005 05:56:23 AM · #38 |
A mere piece of sand
cultured with care forms a pearl
inside an oyster.
Clothes blow in the wind
hung with pins so they won't fall
on a line to dry.
If you love someone
so much they return that love
you know that it's real.
Message edited by author 2005-05-26 05:57:22. |
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05/26/2005 06:26:08 AM · #39 |
captured and digitized today
timeless in cyberspace we see
recreation of the light
Message edited by author 2005-05-26 08:40:25.
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05/26/2005 07:29:47 AM · #40 |
Pixel, pixel, burning bright
on my screen so late at night.
To dim this spot before my eye,
what curse or filter should I try?
and
The boy stood on the burning ship
Photons leapt from him to chip
Press of finger, wink of glass
Image saved! (The boy, he passed)
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05/26/2005 08:38:29 AM · #41 |
Originally posted by bear_music:
The "rule" 0f 5-7-5 is entirely arbitrary. No such equivalent exists (or even CAN exist) in Japanese.
Robt. |
Pardon? It DOES exist in Japanese. It's a syllabic language. There are other forms of Japanese poetry, such as tanka, that also have a very specific number of syllables on each line. It is true that haiku should include a reference to the time of year.
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05/26/2005 09:07:04 AM · #42 |
thank you everyone for writing your haikus.
It was an absolute pleasure to read the humor, wit and intelligence, pure poetic talent.
The haiku is the essence of the poetic philosophy really, and sums up the best things about Japanese culture as viewed back from the west...
Poetry, english poetry, is essentially unlike prose in that there is economy of words, but not ideas. the three line haiku epitomizes this concept,makes your mind expand, often times more than stream of consciousness poetry.
What do I know anyway...
Thanks for playing along.
Paul
Message edited by author 2005-05-26 09:13:13. |
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05/26/2005 09:36:17 AM · #43 |
Grains falling softly
'Pon the apple of my mind
Triangles of hope.
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05/26/2005 04:14:33 PM · #44 |
Originally posted by bear_music:
The "rule" 0f 5-7-5 is entirely arbitrary. No such equivalent exists (or even CAN exist) in Japanese. There is considerable debate, that swirls on and on forever, as to what constitutes a "correct" Haiku in English. |
I agree that there is considerable debate about English Haiku, but Japanese Haiku must be 5-7-5. It is indeed arbitrary, but nevertheless part of the definition. In Japanese, anyway. :-)
Trees reaching upward,
drawing circles on the ground.
No rest for the sun.
Edit: Who can guess the season, and why? ;-) Hint #1: there is more than one correct answer; Hint #2:
Nordlys
Message edited by author 2005-05-26 18:51:21. |
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05/26/2005 07:05:11 PM · #45 |
Apple Sillouette
Lighting Granular Beauty
Dream Decisions. Five.
Message edited by author 2005-05-26 19:05:34.
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05/26/2005 09:23:48 PM · #46 |
A very long lens
compensates for your small ego?
big lens little man
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05/26/2005 11:18:20 PM · #47 |
Originally posted by ericlimon:
A very long lens
compensates for your small ego?
big lens little man |
but a 50 mill
and a sharp sense:
I know I am not alone.
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05/28/2005 03:19:54 AM · #48 |
Originally posted by Pug-H:
Originally posted by bear_music:
The "rule" 0f 5-7-5 is entirely arbitrary. No such equivalent exists (or even CAN exist) in Japanese.
Robt. |
Pardon? It DOES exist in Japanese. It's a syllabic language. There are other forms of Japanese poetry, such as tanka, that also have a very specific number of syllables on each line. It is true that haiku should include a reference to the time of year. |
You are correct, I misspoke. The real problem is that English is NOT a "syllabic" language, so using strict syllable counts in English does not work very well as a rule.
R.
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05/28/2005 03:27:23 AM · #49 |
Originally posted by bear_music:
You are correct, I misspoke. The real problem is that English is NOT a "syllabic" language, so using strict syllable counts in English does not work very well as a rule.
R. |
What do you mean that English is not syllabic?? The basis of poetry in the English language, at least in the older style is metre, such as iambic metre, which is based on syllables. The reason I teach Haikun to children aged 7 upwards is to help them discover syllables! |
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05/28/2005 04:03:37 AM · #50 |
Originally posted by Riponlady:
Originally posted by bear_music:
You are correct, I misspoke. The real problem is that English is NOT a "syllabic" language, so using strict syllable counts in English does not work very well as a rule.
R. |
What do you mean that English is not syllabic?? The basis of poetry in the English language, at least in the older style is metre, such as iambic metre, which is based on syllables. The reason I teach Haikun to children aged 7 upwards is to help them discover syllables! |
True syllabic verse is very rare in the English language. Our units, as it were, tend to be stresses, not syllables. For example, it is theoretically possible for a line of iambic pentameter to have 15 syllables and only 5 "feet", with 5 stresses, if all of them are tri-syllabic feet like the anapest or the dactyl, although that's extreme.
We "measure" our verse by stresses, not syllables, and our speech is patterned likewise.
ANy/thing LESS / than the TRUTH / beCOMES / too MUCH : 11 syllables, 5 feet/stresses, iambic pentameter starting with a trochee and with an anapest in the 3rd foot, the other 3 feet iambs.
Your BOD/y is STARS, / whose MIL/lion GLIT/ter HERE : 4 iambs, anapestic second foot, 11 syllables.
BREAK, // BREAK, // BREAK //
On thy COLD / gray STONES,/ o SEA!
And I WOULD / that my TONGUE / could UTter
The THOUGHTS / that aRISE / in ME.
In the example from Tennyson, above, each line is "trimeter", having 3 stresses, but the syllable counts are 3, 7, 9, 7. As the poem continues, it is seen that the basic form is anapestic trimeter, but Tennyson (a master metricist, and a very innovative one) plays fast and loose with his form. The first line is interesting, because it is masically 3 trochees, with a "caesura" (an emphatic pause) between each word and at the end of the line serving as the seond, unstressed syllable to each foot.
So yes, speaking of poetry, it's accurate to say English is not an especially syllabic language. It is much more aurally expressive than that.
Robt.
Message edited by author 2005-05-28 04:05:35.
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