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03/25/2003 10:46:55 AM · #1 |
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them. |
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03/25/2003 10:48:50 AM · #2 |
haha...this has to be an Onion article
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03/25/2003 11:25:44 AM · #3 |
It would fit in at BBspot.com as well...
Maybe we should add Switzerland, Bahamas, and Grand Cayman Islands as "Countries Which Won't Tell The IRS How Much Money You Have" or the the USA, Brunei, and Microsoft as the Axis which "No Longer Conquers But Just Buys Other Countries."
Glad someone's still looking for some humor in this mess... |
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03/25/2003 11:32:48 AM · #4 |
Hey, where's England?!
Oh hold on, I forgot, we were going to form the 'Axis of countries that suck up to America' but couldn't find 2 others to join ; ) |
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03/26/2003 06:36:41 AM · #5 |
What is the Iraqi air force motto? I came, I saw, Iran.
Have you heard about the new Iraqi air force exercise program? Each
morning you raise your hands above your head, and leave them there.
What's the five-day forecast for Baghdad? Two days.
What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both
have Kurds in their way.
What is the best Iraqi job? Foreign ambassador.
Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter
pilots? You only have to teach them to take off.
How do you play Iraqi bingo? B-52 ... F-16 ... B-52
What is Iraq's national bird? Duck.
What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? They both
want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!
Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see
their air force. |
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03/26/2003 11:49:18 AM · #6 |
Read this,it is not funny!
MIRROR
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03/26/2003 11:56:46 AM · #7 |
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