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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Critique requested on a short film...
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Showing posts 26 - 34 of 34, (reverse)
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 02/17/2005 01:38:39 PM · #26
Can't add much more than what has already been said but I thought it was really good.
 02/17/2005 04:39:09 PM · #27
Here's a high quality version with the changes suggested here made:
//www.konador.com/evenindeath-high.mpg
02/17/2005 05:00:09 PM · #28
I didn't read all the comments, so sorry if I repeat myself. I thought overall, it was very well done. The crash scene is excellent, and I love the placement of it with the music getting harder at the instrumental bridge. Some of the scenes with them together could have been a little less cliche..ie. the swingset. The girl was great. The guy could have been a slightly better actor. Especially on the crash scene, and a few of the couple scenes. I think he looks almost too happy at times.

The only other minor complaint i have is the cemetary, although beautiful, is obviously old. And his grave looks as if it has been there 100 years. Which doesn't make a lot of since. There's a few straight cutaways near the begining that could have been smoother, or more on the beat of the film to work better. But I think it was a really well done video overall.

what editing program?
 02/17/2005 05:50:21 PM · #29
Originally posted by utro:
I didn't read all the comments, so sorry if I repeat myself. I thought overall, it was very well done. The crash scene is excellent, and I love the placement of it with the music getting harder at the instrumental bridge. Some of the scenes with them together could have been a little less cliche..ie. the swingset. The girl was great. The guy could have been a slightly better actor. Especially on the crash scene, and a few of the couple scenes. I think he looks almost too happy at times.

The only other minor complaint i have is the cemetary, although beautiful, is obviously old. And his grave looks as if it has been there 100 years. Which doesn't make a lot of since. There's a few straight cutaways near the begining that could have been smoother, or more on the beat of the film to work better. But I think it was a really well done video overall.

what editing program?


Thanks for the comments :) I'm still playing around with the timing. I use Adobe Premiere and it is so laggy in the program I cant get the timing right until I render then use trial and error. Rendering takes over an hour. Ya know what, I didn't even think about the grave being old, but it's a very good point! Hmmm what shall I do about that, there weren't any new ones in good positions.
 02/17/2005 06:26:43 PM · #30
I like the way you captured the innocence of young love. It was interesting. As I watched I first thought,"Oh this is a bit honey-sweet"...but then quickly I changed my mind. It actually took me to a younger, simpler time of my own life. Just curious....how old are you? I am 40, and with a wife and 3 kids my first view is through that prism I suppose.

The rapid cuts in the car scene were great in my opinion.

I would love to see what your sense of story would produce with enough resources behind you.

Well done, and best of luck in the future.

(One silly commment: So the driver just flipped out and lost control? It was hard to figure out why he crashed without staging an accident. Next time, wreck some cars. LOL.)

I will now view a second time to see if I can figure out what happened.

02/17/2005 06:32:46 PM · #31
Originally posted by Konador:
Originally posted by utro:
I didn't read all the comments, so sorry if I repeat myself. I thought overall, it was very well done. The crash scene is excellent, and I love the placement of it with the music getting harder at the instrumental bridge. Some of the scenes with them together could have been a little less cliche..ie. the swingset. The girl was great. The guy could have been a slightly better actor. Especially on the crash scene, and a few of the couple scenes. I think he looks almost too happy at times.

The only other minor complaint i have is the cemetary, although beautiful, is obviously old. And his grave looks as if it has been there 100 years. Which doesn't make a lot of since. There's a few straight cutaways near the begining that could have been smoother, or more on the beat of the film to work better. But I think it was a really well done video overall.

what editing program?


Thanks for the comments :) I'm still playing around with the timing. I use Adobe Premiere and it is so laggy in the program I cant get the timing right until I render then use trial and error. Rendering takes over an hour. Ya know what, I didn't even think about the grave being old, but it's a very good point! Hmmm what shall I do about that, there weren't any new ones in good positions.


I'm not sure I agree with the grave thing.. sure it's old, but i'm sure there are occasions when older stone is used.. or perhaps there is no grounds keeper, or the graveyard is in a place with lots of weather. Perhaps he was cremated, or it's a 'monument' near a mosoleum.. I think a new grave would have been better but what can you do? kill someone for your video? I really don't think it's a big enough deal to hurt the video... i'm still waiting for the full res to download but I am on the edge of my seat...

another note: perhaps it's been a few years since the guy died? Maybe she's remembering 10 years ago??? we all know some people age well and there isn't really much difference between 17 and 27. Don't let it get to you!

Joe
 02/17/2005 06:48:21 PM · #32
Ok, so i just got done watching the full res version.. I have to say this damn thing is awesome.. Is there anything you can't do Ben? I also think, having seen it in full detail (as I can ofcourse) that it fits with a large gap between incident and memory.. the 'current' clips are sort of dark and emotional, but also helps the actress to look a bit older.. I really like the flashbacks, but moreso the tones you used for them. It really makes it feel like she is younger.

My only question is something I picked out (having a conspiracy theory mind) is at the end with the memorial on the fence.. It has the girl on there too.. Sort of made me wonder if she was dead too? Maybe in limbo or something from suicide? Not sure. I really like it either way. Just though it would be more intrieging if she was also a spirit stuck in the mortal realm trying to make peace.

I enjoy the young love scenes.. I think a few people posting here have forgotten what it's like to be a teenager in love.. really hits home with me but maybe i'm lame like that. I also like how you left the memories simple, as teenagers would be likely to have. I do think it's odd how most of her memories are of only a few situations (but I understand your lack of resource and probably time). I have to say what I liked most about it was the car scene.. You opened the car scene right on que with the drums, amazingly done!

Your video makes me want to do one of my own! very inspiring. Thanks for sharing.

Joe
 02/17/2005 08:56:22 PM · #33
Originally posted by Konador:


Thanks for the comments :) I'm still playing around with the timing. I use Adobe Premiere and it is so laggy in the program I cant get the timing right until I render then use trial and error. Rendering takes over an hour. Ya know what, I didn't even think about the grave being old, but it's a very good point! Hmmm what shall I do about that, there weren't any new ones in good positions.


I've only used Vegas. Have you tried that one? It's really easy to match music beats with editing changes, using markers. Just an idea. The grave issue is totally minor. I think you did a great job.
 02/18/2005 06:29:38 AM · #34
Originally posted by utro:
Originally posted by Konador:


Thanks for the comments :) I'm still playing around with the timing. I use Adobe Premiere and it is so laggy in the program I cant get the timing right until I render then use trial and error. Rendering takes over an hour. Ya know what, I didn't even think about the grave being old, but it's a very good point! Hmmm what shall I do about that, there weren't any new ones in good positions.


I've only used Vegas. Have you tried that one? It's really easy to match music beats with editing changes, using markers. Just an idea. The grave issue is totally minor. I think you did a great job.


I haven't tried Vegas no, but I'll look into it :) At the moment I'm just using the wave image to see where the beats in the music, are but that doesn't always work.

Joe, I really do appreciate the time you've put int owatching this and writing about it! Your thoughts are valuable to me, so thank you ever so much! :)

Dave, The crash happened as the guy was hit on the side by a truck. When the main guitars first come in you see a zoom and tilt towards the front tyres of a big truck and thats when it all starts. It probably doesn't make sense as a real crash but it was the best I could come up with, heheh :P
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