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11/13/2023 12:00:18 AM · #1 |
| Post your outtakes from the Haiku Photography challenge here. |
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11/13/2023 08:09:07 AM · #2 |
I don't have an outtake, but I do have a question - just out of curiosity:
Did the haiku poem itself influence your vote in any way? |
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11/13/2023 08:28:35 AM · #3 |
Originally posted by primabarbara:
I don't have an outtake, but I do have a question - just out of curiosity:
Did the haiku poem itself influence your vote in any way? |
No, as long as an effort was made to write something that appeared to connect to the image in some manner. I didn't parse all of the haiku "rules" of x # of syllables, etc. |
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11/13/2023 10:04:14 AM · #4 |
Originally posted by primabarbara:
I don't have an outtake, but I do have a question - just out of curiosity:
Did the haiku poem itself influence your vote in any way? |
No, and I don't think it influenced the vote either because my Haiku was pretty lame and my entry performed decently. Perhaps Posthomous may have voted that way, as he is a poet? |
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11/13/2023 11:18:11 AM · #5 |
Yes -- the haiku elevated a couple of photos quite a bit. Which is unusual. I don't like titles, and a lot of time don't read the titles unless the photograph bores or confuses me. I like coming up with my own interpretations of the photos -- whether that's wrong or not.
But here are my haiku outtakes - bits and pieces written to my daughter, trying to make it work. I ended up using her haiku - she's a writer. I'm not. I couldn't get it done.
With each setting sun
Whispering "another done"
Days fly, yet hope's won
I like the middle line. the first and third could use help\
I want to keep the Whispering "another done" line
I keep coming up with 4 syllables!!! And I know that English haiku is skipping the 5-7-5 bit, but that's just wrong!
Because I feel this photo, and it should sing me a haiku. I feel the waves ebb and flow , towards and away, and the birds cutting across perpendicular, making their own wave, but in a different direction. It says something.
The waters spill towards me
The birds wave conversely
whispering "it's done"
How do I poetically say the birds are making their own wave?
It was definitely saccharine -- but I still feel uplifted by all the waving. 🙂
The waters spill towards me
The flock echoes the movement
Whispering "it's done"
I don't like "the flock"
The waters spill towards me
waves of flight undulating
Whispering "it's good"
The waves spill towards me
The birds echoing the tide
if you want first two line revision
You, Nov 5, 1:39 PM
Ooops -- didn't realize I had 6 in the first line
The waves spill towards me
Sun rises through waves of flight
Whispering "it's good"
The waves spill towards me
The birds say "we are the waves"
But I know I am
Meggie Nelson, Nov 5, 1:41 PM
waves kissing ankles
retreat as geese advance south
for a brighter sun
You, Nov 5, 1:42 PM
The waves spill towards me
The birds say "we are the waves"
But I know the truth
OOoh -- I like yours, but they're cormorants. 😛
I like your waves kissing ankles line that's one of your brilliant nuggets
Meggie Nelson, Nov 5, 1:44 PM
could just swap geese for birds and it'd fit
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11/13/2023 03:41:21 PM · #6 |
Originally posted by vawendy:
Yes -- the haiku elevated a couple of photos quite a bit. Which is unusual. I don't like titles, and a lot of time don't read the titles unless the photograph bores or confuses me. I like coming up with my own interpretations of the photos -- whether that's wrong or not.
. . . |
Really nice haikus and correspondence, Wendy. I enjoyed that.
And I, too, bumped scores for the haiku's. Couldn't decide how to vote so I decided to start by ignoring the title and then revisit - which I did more than once. No score was lowered, though. And I wasn't really counting syllables (though I found myself doing so occasionally when, despite the sentiment, the poem felt wrong to me and I wondered why), but more looking for those that added a dimension to the image, so to speak. |
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