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02/17/2011 03:02:36 PM · #26 |
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Kenzie say men suck and should not hit women, period. |
Grog confuses. Kenzi female want old chivil shivalress chivael respectful ways, but not hit female with club. How else to let female know Grog likes? |
Treat her to dinner. Talk to her about how you feel. Send her flowers. Let her know you care about her and no just what you can get out of the relationship. Like her for her. |
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02/17/2011 03:04:11 PM · #27 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Grog think Kenzi female hang out with enemy tribe. Very ungood. Enemy tribe steal best females, make them sleep outside cave, and shoot Nikon. |
Not really that..It's the fact that every relationship I've been in has ended terribly. Guys don't know how to treat women anymore. |
"Guys" never have ... remember it's less than a couple of centuries ago when women were considered chattel, couldn't vote or own property, etc.
And, women have changed too ... back in the early 1970's as the "Women's Liberation Movement" was catching steam in the wake the the Civil Rights changes, and women were demanding "equal treatment" from men, Herb Caen (famous San Francisco columnist) ran a piece which featured the following exchange:A man held open a store door for a woman,
to which she snapped at him "You don't have to hold the door for me just because I'm a lady!"
To this he replied "I didn't -- I held it because I'm a gentleman."
Actually, in the Bay Area you'll find a lot of kind, considerate, caring guys ... but most of them already have boyfriends ... :-) |
I see where you're getting at, haha. Funny way of putting it. But not all women act like that. |
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02/17/2011 03:05:34 PM · #28 |
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
What's wrong with today's men? |
Testosterone. |
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02/17/2011 03:08:01 PM · #29 |
.
Message edited by author 2011-02-17 15:08:29.
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02/17/2011 03:08:03 PM · #30 |
Originally posted by Strikeslip:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
What's wrong with today's men? |
Testosterone. |
Back in the 1980's I saw an article by Alan Alda on Testosterone Poisoning ... I'll have to try and find it. |
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02/17/2011 03:12:51 PM · #31 |
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Kenzie say men suck and should not hit women, period. |
Grog confuses. Kenzi female want old chivil shivalress chivael respectful ways, but not hit female with club. How else to let female know Grog likes? |
Treat her to dinner. Talk to her about how you feel. Send her flowers. Let her know you care about her and no just what you can get out of the relationship. Like her for her. |
Dinner: Better yet, learn to cook very well and prepare dinner, that's more special.
Feelings: Men don't do this readily, if you think a guy is going to open up in a week or a month, you're mistaken... For us this requires immense amounts of trust, which takes time.
Flowers: Yak, send her a live plant, I've never understood the whole "Look, I killed a flower for you" thing.
Let her know you care: If a guy does care about you, this should be obvious, if he doesn't, then that should be obvious as well.
Not just what you can get out of the relationship: This is a in/out thing, what you get out (at least of a healthy relationship) is going to be directly proportional to what you put in.
Like her for her: So, basically I shouldn't like you for your looks, behaviors, family, style, fashion sense, common interests, etc? Why not? As those are all absolutely a part of who you are. By the way, telling a girl that you're not with them for their appearance is almost certainly going to be interpreted as "You're unattractive to me, but I like you anyway"..
----
Now, let's have a serious discussion about what you're giving your guys.. Do you fawn over them? Constantly look at them with googly eyes? Rub their back in the morning and at night? Do you cook and clean and do their laundry? Do you plan on providing 100% of the childcare? Changing every diaper? Do you always make sure that your appearance is perfect, that your teeth are brushed six times a day, and that your makeup is not flawed? Do you make sure to wear high heels while cleaning, and do you intend to wear lingerie to bed every night?
I know that may seem a bit over the top, but it is effectively the other side of "chivalry" so, if you're not intending on doing these things, and you're not willing to do every one of the above, I think a request for a completely perfect man is pretty much ludicrous...
Message edited by author 2011-02-17 15:20:10. |
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02/17/2011 03:14:04 PM · #32 |
Originally posted by Strikeslip:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
What's wrong with today's men? |
Testosterone. |
AMEN! |
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02/17/2011 03:15:14 PM · #33 |
Originally posted by coryboehne:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Kenzie say men suck and should not hit women, period. |
Grog confuses. Kenzi female want old chivil shivalress chivael respectful ways, but not hit female with club. How else to let female know Grog likes? |
Treat her to dinner. Talk to her about how you feel. Send her flowers. Let her know you care about her and no just what you can get out of the relationship. Like her for her. |
Dinner: Better yet, learn to cook very well and prepare dinner, that's more special.
Feelings: Men don't do this readily, if you think a guy is going to open up in a week or a month, you're mistaken... For us this requires immense amounts of trust, which takes time.
Flowers: Yak, send her a live plant, I've never understood the whole "Look, I killed a flower for you" thing.
Let her know you care: If a guy does care about you, this should be obvious, if he doesn't, then that should be obvious as well.
Not just what you can get out of the relationship: This is a in/out thing, what you get out (at least of a healthy relationship) is going to be directly proportional to what you put in.
Like her for her: So, basically I shouldn't like you for your looks, behaviors, family, style, fashion sense, common interests, etc? Why not? As those are all absolutely a part of who you are. By the way, telling a girl that you're not with them for their appearance is almost certainly going to be interpreted as "You're unattractive to me, but I like you anyway"..
----
Now, let's have a serious discussion about what you're giving your guys.. Do you fawn over them? Constantly look at them with googly eyes? Rub their back in the morning and at night? Do you cook and clean and do their laundry? Do you plan on providing 100% of the childcare? Changing every diaper? Do you always make sure that your appearance is perfect, that your teeth are brushed six times a day, and that your makeup is not flawed? Do you make sure to wear high heels while cleaning, and do you intend to wear lingerie to bed every night?
I know that may seem a bit over the top, but it effectively the other side of "chivalry" so, if you're not intending on doing these things, and you're not willing to do every one of the above, I think a request for a completely perfect man is pretty much ludicrous... |
WELL PUT COREY (and something I need to remember more often!) |
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02/17/2011 03:17:54 PM · #34 |
Originally posted by coryboehne:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
Kenzie say men suck and should not hit women, period. |
Grog confuses. Kenzi female want old chivil shivalress chivael respectful ways, but not hit female with club. How else to let female know Grog likes? |
Treat her to dinner. Talk to her about how you feel. Send her flowers. Let her know you care about her and no just what you can get out of the relationship. Like her for her. |
Dinner: Better yet, learn to cook very well and prepare dinner, that's more special.
Feelings: Men don't do this readily, if you think a guy is going to open up in a week or a month, you're mistaken... For us this requires immense amounts of trust, which takes time.
Flowers: Yak, send her a live plant, I've never understood the whole "Look, I killed a flower for you" thing.
Let her know you care: If a guy does care about you, this should be obvious, if he doesn't, then that should be obvious as well.
Not just what you can get out of the relationship: This is a in/out thing, what you get out (at least of a healthy relationship) is going to be directly proportional to what you put in.
Like her for her: So, basically I shouldn't like you for your looks, behaviors, family, style, fashion sense, common interests, etc? Why not? As those are all absolutely a part of who you are. By the way, telling a girl that you're not with them for their appearance is almost certainly going to be interpreted as "You're unattractive to me, but I like you anyway"..
----
Now, let's have a serious discussion about what you're giving your guys.. Do you fawn over them? Constantly look at them with googly eyes? Rub their back in the morning and at night? Do you cook and clean and do their laundry? Do you plan on providing 100% of the childcare? Changing every diaper? Do you always make sure that your appearance is perfect, that your teeth are brushed six times a day, and that your makeup is not flawed? Do you make sure to wear high heels while cleaning, and do you intend to wear lingerie to bed every night?
I know that may seem a bit over the top, but it effectively the other side of "chivalry" so, if you're not intending on doing these things, and you're not willing to do every one of the above, I think a request for a completely perfect man is pretty much ludicrous... |
When I said "Like her for her.", that's exactly what I meant. Like the way she represents herself, her friends, and her family. Like her for what she likes, thinks, and acts (whether it's good or bad 'cause soon enough you're gunna have to get over it) |
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02/17/2011 03:23:18 PM · #35 |
NEW SUBJECT!
What's everyone's thought on abuse..? |
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02/17/2011 03:24:18 PM · #36 |
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
NEW SUBJECT!
What's everyone's thought on abuse..? |
Unacceptable, from any side or argument.
Leave and leave now, for nothing good will ever come of it. |
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02/17/2011 03:31:19 PM · #37 |
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
NEW SUBJECT!
What's everyone's thought on abuse..? |
Also, this extends beyond abuse. Any physical or verbal aggression is a precursor to abuse, again, leave and leave now, for there is no hope.
And this goes right back at the women, if you think because you're smaller and you hit us it doesn't hurt us, you're wrong, very wrong... It may hurt more emotionally than physically, but don't kid yourself, you have the ability to hit hard enough to do actual physical damage. And watch what you say, always, for every word matters. |
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02/17/2011 03:31:28 PM · #38 |
Originally posted by KenzieKupcake:
NEW SUBJECT!
What's everyone's thought on abuse..? |
women (not sure on the statistic for men) will "go back" an average of 7 times before they get the strength to break for good. unfortunately, for some women, they never get the 7 chances.
there is NO excuse for abuse in either direction. period.
if you (general, collective "you," not "you" directly) are in an abusive situation, get out. if you can't leave on your own, find someone to help you. it is NOT love, no matter how desperately you want it to be. |
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02/17/2011 03:38:10 PM · #39 |
Here is a great piece of work on this subject. This happens every day, probably to someone you know. The only answer is freedom, which requires bravery, for it is cowardice and fear that leads many to stay in an abusive relationship.
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02/17/2011 04:01:01 PM · #40 |
*Puts on his Dad suit*
McKenzie, you are 17 years old. Get your life together, focus on your own future and forget about a relationship until you are ready and strong enough to handle all that goes with it. It doesn't appear that that is the case at the moment. I assume you are still living with your parents? How old is your abusive boyfriend? You live in Texas, so I assume your dad is fairly well armed...
Not trying to give you crap. I raised two teenage girls and you are giving me flashbacks. ;-) |
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02/17/2011 04:03:39 PM · #41 |
Originally posted by Art Roflmao:
Not trying to give you crap. I raised two teenage girls and you are giving me flashbacks. ;-) |
That's not flashbacks, it's permanently raised blood pressure.
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02/17/2011 04:10:31 PM · #42 |
Originally posted by Luci11e:
You gotta admit that alot of the way today's younger men treat younger women is brought on by the women. What are those guys supposed to think when girls go around calling each other bitchs, hos, and sluts? I know this dates me but I think it's horrible. Of course guys are gonna treat women badly when they don't show respect for each other.
And reality TV doesn't help matters either. |
I agree with you somewhat, but don't just blame the women (though you are right, in my youth most women had at least a modicum of feminist self-respect -- even if unable to stop the demeaning language, they wouldn't have been a party to it).
In the late 1960s and early 1970s we couldn't wait to break free from the stifling conformity of the 1950s and the world of "Father Knows Best." Now it seems the pervading culture glorifies the adolescent man, and crudity has become the easy path to take. That old world is starting to look good to me. Which is another way to say yes, I am old. |
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02/17/2011 04:25:02 PM · #43 |
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Originally posted by Art Roflmao:
Not trying to give you crap. I raised two teenage girls and you are giving me flashbacks. ;-) |
That's not flashbacks, it's permanently raised blood pressure. |
I only have a few more years before I get there. But I've raised my daughters playing the fart game and doing all manner of disgusting things, so they think boys are really gross. I'm hoping this either postpones their interest in boys, or turns them into lesbians.
Message edited by author 2011-02-17 16:25:42. |
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02/17/2011 04:27:28 PM · #44 |
Originally posted by citymars:
Originally posted by Luci11e:
You gotta admit that alot of the way today's younger men treat younger women is brought on by the women. What are those guys supposed to think when girls go around calling each other bitchs, hos, and sluts? I know this dates me but I think it's horrible. Of course guys are gonna treat women badly when they don't show respect for each other.
And reality TV doesn't help matters either. |
I agree with you somewhat, but don't just blame the women (though you are right, in my youth most women had at least a modicum of feminist self-respect -- even if unable to stop the demeaning language, they wouldn't have been a party to it).
In the late 1960s and early 1970s we couldn't wait to break free from the stifling conformity of the 1950s and the world of "Father Knows Best." Now it seems the pervading culture glorifies the adolescent man, and crudity has become the easy path to take. That old world is starting to look good to me. Which is another way to say yes, I am old. |
Not "blaming" the young ladies perse, just saying don't expect to get treated like gold when you treat each other like shit....and think it's ok. |
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02/17/2011 04:35:29 PM · #45 |
| Some studies indicate that physical abuse may actually be more common with the man as the victim which completely goes against conventional wisdom. Hmmm, I'd have to try to dig that up. |
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02/17/2011 04:36:51 PM · #46 |
Originally posted by Strikeslip:
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Originally posted by Art Roflmao:
Not trying to give you crap. I raised two teenage girls and you are giving me flashbacks. ;-) |
That's not flashbacks, it's permanently raised blood pressure. |
I only have a few more years before I get there. But I've raised my daughters playing the fart game and doing all manner of disgusting things, so they think boys are really gross. I'm hoping this either postpones their interest in boys, or turns them into lesbians. |
where were you when my daughters were still teens. this may be the best post i've ever read. |
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02/17/2011 04:43:24 PM · #47 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Some studies indicate that physical abuse may actually be more common with the man as the victim which completely goes against conventional wisdom. Hmmm, I'd have to try to dig that up. |
Hmm. can't find it and what I did find may indicate that you need to include all forms of abuse for the numbers to equalize. (ie. women face more physical abuse, men...verbal or psychological). |
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02/17/2011 04:54:58 PM · #48 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Some studies indicate that physical abuse may actually be more common with the man as the victim which completely goes against conventional wisdom. Hmmm, I'd have to try to dig that up. |
I too remember a similar study that was produced some years ago and the authors suggested that their report may not necessarily be truly reflective of the true numbers since most males did not report abuse...the stigma associated with such reporting was too great.
Ray
Message edited by author 2011-02-17 17:00:09. |
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02/17/2011 04:58:33 PM · #49 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Some studies indicate that physical abuse may actually be more common with the man as the victim which completely goes against conventional wisdom. Hmmm, I'd have to try to dig that up. |
Hmm. can't find it and what I did find may indicate that you need to include all forms of abuse for the numbers to equalize. (ie. women face more physical abuse, men...verbal or psychological). |
Maybe ... I'm pretty sure women are far more likely to die as a result of domestic violence, and it's usually economically and physically more difficult to escape. |
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02/17/2011 05:02:07 PM · #50 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Some studies indicate that physical abuse may actually be more common with the man as the victim which completely goes against conventional wisdom. Hmmm, I'd have to try to dig that up. |
Hmm. can't find it and what I did find may indicate that you need to include all forms of abuse for the numbers to equalize. (ie. women face more physical abuse, men...verbal or psychological). |
Maybe ... I'm pretty sure women are far more likely to die as a result of domestic violence, and it's usually economically and physically more difficult to escape. |
Interesting point  GeneralE, but it might also be interesting to find out just how many abusive men are killed by their spouses.
Ray |
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