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11/20/2010 10:28:41 PM · #26 |
Dearest friend,
As you know, I am deceased. What may also be shocking to you is that my father was a famous American general.
Perhaps you have heard of the world famous General Motors? He was my father, and I his only heir.
Alas, US law prevents the deceased from leaving the country with cash inheritances. If you will assist me, I will gladly share my inheritance with you. In order to circumvent this oppressive law, certain fees and costs must be paid. As I am deceased I have been blocked from all access to my monies. However, if you could help with these small fees, and with an airfare ticket to your beautiful location, I am prepared to share with you fully one half of the value of my stock certificates in his original car company. The current value of this stock, is fully equal to the rest of the stock in the original company combined!
If you would but help me in my desperate hour of deceasement, I will prey many blessings over you.
I must know your answer soonest, or I shall be forced by circumstances to offer this special reward to another truly undead person.
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11/20/2010 10:55:42 PM · #27 |
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11/20/2010 10:59:03 PM · #28 |
There are some splendid ghost writers in this forum.
Why, you may find fame and FORTUNE in other fields as well as photography. |
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11/20/2010 11:00:27 PM · #29 |
| Shouldn't that be "Dearest fiend," |
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11/21/2010 01:09:42 AM · #30 |
| Did you have a bank account in a small African country? I keep getting emails from your banker. He wants me to help him launder your money to the US. |
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11/21/2010 02:08:02 AM · #31 |
Wow, I've been working the graveyard shift and totally missed this!
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11/21/2010 10:35:27 AM · #32 |
Originally posted by nshapiro:
Wow, I've been working the graveyard shift and totally missed this! |
Ah! The mysterious Mr Shapiro makes an appearance:) |
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11/21/2010 11:05:31 AM · #33 |
Originally posted by nshapiro:
Wow, I've been working the graveyard shift and totally missed this! |
*almost* made me spit my coffee! |
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11/21/2010 12:13:04 PM · #34 |
Originally posted by kirbic:
Originally posted by nshapiro:
Wow, I've been working the graveyard shift and totally missed this! |
*almost* made me spit my coffee! |
Yep, me too. I had to go away and get a restorative.
Say, Neil, did you find my Ouija Board in there? |
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11/21/2010 01:27:48 PM · #35 |
Originally posted by sfalice:
Originally posted by kirbic:
Originally posted by nshapiro:
Wow, I've been working the graveyard shift and totally missed this! |
*almost* made me spit my coffee! |
Yep, me too. I had to go away and get a restorative.
Say, Neil, did you find my Ouija Board in there? |
No, but Ouija boards are like cell phones...if you can't locate yours, you just need to call them...easy from the other side, where I presume you are writing from.
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11/21/2010 01:47:35 PM · #36 |
Originally posted by nshapiro:
Originally posted by sfalice:
Originally posted by kirbic:
Originally posted by nshapiro:
Wow, I've been working the graveyard shift and totally missed this! |
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Say, Neil, did you find my Ouija Board in there? |
No, but Ouija boards are like cell phones...if you can't locate yours, you just need to call them...easy from the other side, where I presume you are writing from. |
Ah, yes. Even from the netherworld, Catch 22 exists.
If you can't find your Ouija Board you can't use it to call to find it.
Perhaps I can borrow one from my new-found friends, Farida and Gershon. |
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11/21/2010 02:00:18 PM · #37 |
| Im truly sorry I could not make it to your funeral but you should have told me your dead earlier. |
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11/21/2010 02:26:13 PM · #38 |
Originally posted by RianBotes:
Im truly sorry I could not make it to your funeral but you should have told me your dead earlier. |
I too am very sorry not to have made it to your funeral, may be next time ;-)
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11/21/2010 03:48:46 PM · #39 |
Wake for me!
You guys are brilliant. IN EXTREMIS. |
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11/21/2010 04:03:19 PM · #40 |
Just consider the message a voice from the other side, a harbinger of what is to come. Living brings us to death; there is no other road.
Ohhhh.... I feel a poem popping out of my memory banks :-) I wrote this a decade or so ago...
**************
Anything less than the truth becomes too much
in the inverted fiction of the heart.
What's logic but deceit, when joy breeds pain?
Living brings us to death.
There is no other road.
When poets walk city streets at night green-shod,
secret meadows defy the sidewalk world,
but steel and stone endure while green songs fade.
Beauty will come to dust.
There is no other law.
A budgetary skunk pollutes our days.
Light's shadow-dog reeks. Fiduciary fate
lurks in love's meal disguised as hate's foul turd.
Zero is all. All's void.
There is no other sum.
The wise man studies what he must forget.
The happy man remembers not to learn.
The way of each is water over stones â
We travel in pain. We die.
There is no other road.
****************
R. |
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11/21/2010 08:59:49 PM · #41 |
Oh, man!
There are so many straight-lines in this threadâ¦
Now, just to counteract all that lovely poetry that Bear just posted, here is a bit of doggerel to say âthank youâ to everyone for playing this silly game. It all happened because some strange people wrote something bizarre in purple inkâ¦
Beautiful dreamerâ¦wake unto me.
But, I canât, because you see,
âIâm dead,â she said.
My assets are a gimmee!
To these scammers, Wariri & Shapiro.
Seven days and counting
And then Iâve gotta go.
âCause the obits are mounting!
Aha! Still thereâs hope.
All those condolences appeared, unbidden.
But, the restorative drink awoke
my will to survive and find something hidden!
Bank accounts! Kissed Assets! Ghost Riders Writers In the sky.
FORTUNE, wicked clever, lucrative estate!
Alas for Wariri & Shapiro. Because there is no cutting of the pie.
Just drinks tonight, Aliceâs Place, at eight.
Love ya all!
Message edited by author 2010-11-22 10:11:58. |
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11/22/2010 12:53:58 AM · #42 |
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