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06/20/2004 06:33:07 PM · #1
//www.teemings.com/extras/lotr/index.html

The Lord of the Rings ...what if it had been written by someone else?

Robert Frost

by cromulent

Whose swamp this is, I think I know
He lives up in that tower though
I hope he doesnât see me here
To watch his marshes all aglow.

My Sam and I have much to fear
Especially with Gollum here
He wants my pretty ring to take
But promises to lead us near.

âA bad plan, Frodo, and no mistakeâ
Says Sam, âitâs not the path Iâd take.
All Gollum does is whine and weep
And I donât trust the little fake.â

This swamp is smelly, dark, and deep.
But I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

and many more..........



Message edited by author 2004-06-20 18:34:35.
06/20/2004 08:36:24 PM · #2
this one not to bad

A. B. "Banjo" Patterson

by glee

Once a jolly wizard camped by a dwarven mine,
Under the shade of the mountains misty,
And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his password worked,
"Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?
Ring-bearing Frodo, Ring-bearing Frodo,
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"
And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his password worked,
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"

Down came a monster to grab at that Ring-bearer:
Up jumped Lego-las and loaded his bow with glee,
And he sang as he fired all his arrows at that mo-onster,
"Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?
Ring-bearing Frodo, Ring-bearing Frodo,
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"
And he sang as he fired all his arrows at that mo-onster,
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"

Up came a Numorean, carrying his broken sword;
Down came the hobbits, one, two, three:
"Where's that coat of mithril you've got underneath your shirt?
"Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?
Ring-bearing Frodo, Ring-bearing Frodo,
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"
"Where's that coat of mithril you've got underneath your shirt?
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"

Up jumped the pony Bill and fled from the scene quickly;
"You'll never take me in there!" thought he;
And his neighs may be heard as you pass by that dwarven mine,
"Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?
Ring-bearing Frodo, Ring-bearing Frodo,
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"
And his neighs may be heard as you pass by that dwarven mine,
Who'll come Ring-bearing young Frodo with me?"

06/20/2004 08:44:52 PM · #3
one more :)

"Frodo Baggins and the One Ring" by JK Rowling
("Frodo Baggins and the Knarliest Ring" in the USA)

by Shalmanese

Frodo crept down the stairs of the of the castle, his invisible cloak sweeping around his legs. He simply had to get the ring into Professor Saurons office without attracting attention. The castle was quite and he made his way without difficulty. A faint light was glowing from under the Professors door but nobody appeared to be in the office. Sneaking in quietly, he saw the volcano on the ledge bubbling quietly. He was just about to throw this ring into the fiery chasm when the door burst open and the Professor strode in. Not having time to think, Frodo Potter froze on the spot, grateful for being invisible.

Professor Sauron wasn't the only person who entered the room however. A massive hulking glowing monster had also ambled in alongside him and they were now deep in a conversation. Frodo froze, although he had never met one of those before, he had heard about it enough times to know that the thing standing in front of him was a Balrog!

"I want you to send a message to Professor Saruman, Tell him that I am prepared to join forces so that we can both live our lives without worrying about prying eyes. Fly swiftly for I need the message soon"

"But I dont have no wings" said the Balrog dumbly

"Use a broomstick you fool" snarled professor Sauron and swiftly left the classroom.

So it was true thought Frodo Potter, Sauron wan't to get rid of him and he was willing to enlist the help of Saruman to do it. He had to tell his friends Pippin and Merrione, they would know what to do.

"striding out of the classroom as fast as he could, he turned down a corridor without looking and a giant flash of green light blinded him. The scar on his forehead was now excruciating with pain. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the figure of Elrond laughing madly.

Frodo gradually became aware that he was now lying in a bed. Trying to get up, he heard a gently voice in his ear.

"Ah, Frodo, it seems we are up and about already", it was the gentle voice of Headmaster Gandalf.

"I suppose you want to know what happened last night, It turns out that your last Defense against Dark Arts teacher wasn't really Elrond at all but was actually Lord Melkor's minion, Smeagol. You see, nobody actually knew what Elrond looked like before he came to HobbitWarts becuase he kept to himself. When Smeagol arrived, we all assumed it was Elrond. Quite unfortunate really."

"But I saw Professor Sauron with that Balrog, he was talking about removing those prying eyes"

"Yes, Sauron was one of the first suspect something about Smeagol, it was all those potions full of rotten fish that gave it away he said. He knew he couldn't tackle Smeagol alone so he enlisted the help of Saruman. He was the one who found you unconcious"

"You mean... Sauron is innocent?" stammered Frodo

"Yes you fool of a Took! I've been trying to tell you that for the last 4 years" snapped Gandalf rather angrily "Now get some rest so we can send you home to your awful Uncle Bilbo."


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