Hi-ho,
I think this is a nice portrait.
But, as you're asking for critique, here's my nit picky niggles for the day:
The shadow of the tip of her nose is a little distracting, once I started looking at it, I couldn't look away.. OK, an exageration, but it is distracting.. A slightly different light angle maybe. Because her complexion is quite good it looks like harshest shape on the right side of her face.
I think this shot could benifit from some light behind, as the hair blends totally into the background it has the effect of making her head look a little 'pointy' to me. If you've got the ability to set one up a 'hair light' would be great, if not ad-lib with a desk lamp, open window, bonfire, thermo nuclear explosion.... :-)
The pupils look quite large in this shot. I'm not sure what you were using for light, but if you're 'posing' your models you might want to try using a bit more light if they're continuous or put a desklamp ('modelling light') next to your flash. This will make the pupils slightly smaller, and in this case it would make the colour of her eyes stand out more. If the 'modelling light' is close to the flash you'll not wind up with two catchlights to edit out.. If you're using studio strobes, run the modelling light un-linked from the flash setting, and have it up 1-1.5 stops up.
Catchlights. The small round catchlights look quite harsh, if it's not to much hassle you could bounce the flash a chunk of white foam board, through a sheet of paper... Put a sheet over a window, if it's night time put a sheet over the window with a flash outside.
Last but not least, the soft focus/luminous glow effect is cool, but I'm not a fan, I prefer slightly more 'real' potraits... In this case it looks like the eye's have become softened as well, and I'm an eyes in sharp focus kind of guy as well.. In combination with slightly smaller pupils it gives a really strong 'center' to a portrait.
Now that I've typed that, I think 'center' is what is lacking.. It's a clear, well exposed photo, but the eye's don't particularly pull me in, and there is nothing else really of interest. It's a nice smile, good skin, but still, nothing to keep me looking.
As always, just my 2c worth...
Cheers, Chris H.
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