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05/25/2004 03:05:46 PM · #1 |
I need to rant!!!!
Sometime ago I had told everyone about problems with my little boy at school. At first it was believed that he was ADHD, but after a very unsuccessful run of medication that was proven not to be the case.
So after several doctor visits, iq testing and several counseling sessions it was determined that he has Asperger's Syndrome. OK I can live with that. It isn't the end of the world. So now we are setting up wrap around services including a TSS to start just as soon as the commonwealth approves it. Which they have til June 16th to do.
So here I was thinking everything was going to be ok when last week at a parent day I witnessed his teacher being to frustrated and taking it out on him and before the day was over he had slapped her on the hand and the school had called in 3 security officers for a SECOND GRADER! A child who has no history of violent behavior is only 49 inches tall and weighs 53 pounds.
When I walked into the principal's office what I witnessed was a parent's worst nightmare. A school security officer was standing over my child screaming at him. My little boy had simply shut down and was staring off into space while me I was horrified at what I saw.
I ended up taking him to the crisis center at the nearby hospital to make the school happy. At which point they decided that I have done everything possible for him and there isn't anything they can do to help him. I am just stuck in a wait and see mode as I have him already in counseling and have done all the right things for him.
So yesterday I find out now that even though his behavior is a result of the Asperger's Syndrome...the school is going to give him 2 days in school suspension! This is something that would have been totally prevented had the TSS been in place.
It is very frustrating as a parent to know your child's needs are not being completely met and that a teacher can do or say anything they want to defend themselves, but as a parent I don't have the right to say "He is special needs and his needs obviously weren't being met by this teacher."
Only good that has come out of all of this is the fact that after his 2 day suspension is over they will have a personal aide available to him for the rest of the school year or until the tss is in place whichever comes first.
Right now though I am still upset that he is getting 2 days in school suspension and according to the school the teacher did no wrong when it was obvious to myself as well as the instructional advisor that the teacher was frustrated and taking it out on him.
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05/25/2004 03:12:30 PM · #2 |
Perhaps (if you're feeling up to it) you could request an informal meeting with the teacher. There's not much you can do about what has happened, but if done correctly, perhaps you help the teacher to be a better teacher. Sometimes it's hard even for adults to see from a different perspective.
I think I would need to rant first, too. |
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05/25/2004 05:53:55 PM · #3 |
As a former special ed teacher, you have a right to be upset. Unfortunately, in "the system" parents are low man on the totem pole and are the last to be consulted in any event. It is sad. I always let the parents be involved as much as they wanted to be and many told me I was the first teacher their child had that did that. (Some of these kids were in 11th or 12th grade adn had been in sped since 1st or 2nd -- how sad is that).
Since Special Education is a federal deal, I am going to assume that you have the same rights as parents here in NC. Mainly, what you say should go, if you can prove with documentation that it is needed. You can't just walk in and say, "My son needs this this and this." BUT, you seem to have documented everything very well, adn I think you have a good case. If the school doesn't comply, try and find out if there is a person in your area/region who goes to bat for SPED students that are fighting the system. In our area, they are legal (sometimes) call "advocates" and they strike fear in the hearts of special ed teachers and systems. They usually charge very little, and if you "win" the system sometimes pay for it.
Oh yea, the schools won't tell you who the advocates are or how to find them. ;-) Check with support groups, etc. in your area.
Do a google search for "Special Education Advocates" and you may find what you need.
Message edited by author 2004-05-25 17:56:00. |
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05/25/2004 07:55:44 PM · #4 |
Originally posted by karmat:
Do a google search for "Special Education Advocates" and you may find what you need. |
Thanks bunches I am going to check into that right now. He is in a normal classroom and basically only thing he is getting so far from the school is autistic support for 30 minutes each week. Heck the principal was even so far out of the loop that he didn't even know I have arrangements made to get him a TSS.
Yes we do have everything documented, and we have a behavioral specialist already seeing us once a week so that soon as the state gives the approval for the TSS he will have it.
I really am annoyed that they are giving him 2 days of inschool suspension, and I am going to check into the special education advocates and see if it is possible at the very least to get that removed from his record if I can't stop it. The behavior was definately a direct result of the Asperger's Syndrome which the school is well aware of exsists.
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05/25/2004 08:08:42 PM · #5 |
Being a school teacher isn't all roses either. Both my parents were teachers and they took a lot of crap from parents in both their 30 so years of teaching.
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05/25/2004 08:44:30 PM · #6 |
Originally posted by OneSweetSin:
... A school security officer was standing over my child screaming at him. My little boy had simply shut down and was staring off into space while me I was horrified at what I saw.
I ended up taking him to the crisis center at the nearby hospital ... |
You call the District Superintendent of Public Instruction, describe this scene, and say they have 24 hours to remove the suspension from his record (keeping him at home for a couple of days might be fine though) or you and your attorney will see them in Federal Court, local Superior Court, School Board, City Council,and in the nearest metropolitan newspaper. They may have an official grievance procedure ... if so file all the paperwork on that first.
With a refusal, you should end up with enough bucks to finance private education and therapy, although hopefully they'll just "get in the loop" and take care of things properly.
Sorry to sound so litigious, but it's the language "they" understand the best -- once you have their full attention you may well be able to get the situation configured more to your liking. |
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05/25/2004 08:50:24 PM · #7 |
Originally posted by Jacko:
Being a school teacher isn't all roses either. Both my parents were teachers and they took a lot of crap from parents in both their 30 so years of teaching. |
true dat, jacko
Basically it works like this: Little Johnny has tremendous success in the school, it is because he has such awesome parents adn he is such a genius. Little Johnny fails in the schools, well, then, it is the teachers' fault.
In this situation, though, (OSS's son), I can think of several ways to avoid something coming to this. AND, the fact that he is "identified" (I hate that term) means that there are Federal guidelines that have to be followed (and I don't like them all, either).
Always remember, for every bad teacher you hear about, there are probably two or three good ones, and one or two great ones.
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05/25/2004 08:50:38 PM · #8 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Sorry to sound so litigious, but it's the language "they" understand the best -- once you have their full attention you may well be able to get the situation configured more to your liking. |
Don't worry about that Paul. I have talked to the district superintendent already once and he jumped in instantly and made the school create an IEP disipline plan for him, however as of right now the principal is requesting inschool suspension and I am asking for it to be reduced to detention, something he has never even had I might add. So tomorrow morning I will be calling the superintendent yet once again to say I'm still not happy with the decision and to say "Tell me why isn't his teacher or the principal dealing with his special needs instead of disiplining him for being defiant which is very common with his disorder?"
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05/25/2004 08:55:21 PM · #9 |
Originally posted by karmat:
Originally posted by Jacko:
Being a school teacher isn't all roses either. Both my parents were teachers and they took a lot of crap from parents in both their 30 so years of teaching. |
true dat, jacko
Basically it works like this: Little Johnny has tremendous success in the school, it is because he has such awesome parents adn he is such a genius. Little Johnny fails in the schools, well, then, it is the teachers' fault.
In this situation, though, (OSS's son), I can think of several ways to avoid something coming to this. AND, the fact that he is "identified" (I hate that term) means that there are Federal guidelines that have to be followed (and I don't like them all, either).
Always remember, for every bad teacher you hear about, there are probably two or three good ones, and one or two great ones. |
His teacher really isn't a bad teacher...just very frustrated at how his behavior is getting worse.
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05/25/2004 09:03:41 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by karmat:
Always remember, for every bad teacher you hear about, there are probably two or three good ones, and one or two great ones. |
Actually, my parents are among the latter groups ... one of the things which makes hearing about this kind of stuff so frustrating. |
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05/25/2004 09:30:20 PM · #11 |
Originally posted by OneSweetSin:
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Sorry to sound so litigious, but it's the language "they" understand the best -- once you have their full attention you may well be able to get the situation configured more to your liking. |
Don't worry about that Paul. I have talked to the district superintendent already once and he jumped in instantly and made the school create an IEP disipline plan for him, however as of right now the principal is requesting inschool suspension and I am asking for it to be reduced to detention, something he has never even had I might add. So tomorrow morning I will be calling the superintendent yet once again to say I'm still not happy with the decision and to say "Tell me why isn't his teacher or the principal dealing with his special needs instead of disiplining him for being defiant which is very common with his disorder?" |
I served on our local school board for two terms (almost nine years)and I suspect that if you do not obtain some reasonable outcome with the teacher, principal, or superintendent, that you might if you contact members of the school board. I'm sure they would ask you to "follow the chain of command" in the order I mentioned, but you would be heard. If your district has someone in charge of special education, they might be willing to advocate for you and for your son as well. You said your son was in a regular classroom. In my state, there is a mandated policy of "inclusion", meaning special needs students are required to be included in regular classrooms. Some teachers, especially those not trained to meet special needs requirements, become extremely frustrated in those circumstances. I know our district fought it - because the mandate came without requisite funding - and we lost. We are the poorest per pupil funded district in our state, and we were very concerned about meeting the needs of all kids. We felt it would be difficult at best (and it is), but I give our teachers a lot of credit for doing the best they can.
I have four kids, and I've fought my share of battles with the system. I firmly believe you will find someone who will remember that YOUR SON is the important person here and whatever happens must be best for HIM. Not them, not you, but for HIM. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.
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05/25/2004 09:43:45 PM · #12 |
| Best of luck in this situation, I'm sorry to hear you've been subjected to this! |
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05/26/2004 07:40:31 AM · #13 |
Originally posted by OneSweetSin:
Originally posted by karmat:
Originally posted by Jacko:
Being a school teacher isn't all roses either. Both my parents were teachers and they took a lot of crap from parents in both their 30 so years of teaching. |
true dat, jacko
Basically it works like this: Little Johnny has tremendous success in the school, it is because he has such awesome parents adn he is such a genius. Little Johnny fails in the schools, well, then, it is the teachers' fault.
In this situation, though, (OSS's son), I can think of several ways to avoid something coming to this. AND, the fact that he is "identified" (I hate that term) means that there are Federal guidelines that have to be followed (and I don't like them all, either).
Always remember, for every bad teacher you hear about, there are probably two or three good ones, and one or two great ones. |
His teacher really isn't a bad teacher...just very frustrated at how his behavior is getting worse. |
Maybe that is the whole problem his teacher is frustrated.....
Whenever I (substitute in classes been awhile though) middle school ages mostly,
the more I got frustrated with them for not getting anything accomplished, or not doing the task I set them to do, the more they would react in bad behaviors.....And this goes for individual as well as a whole class....
Maybe its not just your son causing the problems and there are other children influencing him...
edited a few mispelled typos
Message edited by author 2004-05-26 07:43:50.
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