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09/19/2009 06:44:46 PM · #301 |
Originally posted by Melethia:
More random and odd tourist shots posted to this folder (new stuff at the bottom) for those who may be interested.
And congrats on that fav, Paul. Very cool! |
oh! forgot to go back and comment on your belgium pictures because I didn't have a flckr account. Are they still only on flickr? |
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09/20/2009 09:08:40 AM · #302 |
can i just have a moment?
JDub and i broke up in June, as you all know from my name change. I have been with two other guys since then to keep me preoccupied from still having extremely mixed feelings about JDub. Last night, and the homecoming dance i refused to go to, him and an other girl were really getting down, and apparently they are dating now. Yes yes, i should be over it by now, and im trying to be. im trying to make myself ok with the fact that our time is over and i need to get used to it. unfortunately that feeling lasts for about 3 minutes at a tme before i want to go scream and cry and beat the shit out of someone. Ive done all i can possibly do on my computer to keep my head elsewhere; i even planned a nude shoot and a senior photo shoot for today to keep me busy.
But still. how does anyone else deal? its like acceptance is seriously not cooperating in my head, even though i think im trying. i even wished him luck last night, which he took as sarcasm(fabulous:/)
um?? |
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09/20/2009 09:19:31 AM · #303 |
| Your life is way too busy, with way too much in the way of opportunity's (hell look at whats happened over the last year with your photography) to worry yourself over one boy. Keep on keeping on girl and soon it will be him looking back and feeling the fool.. |
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09/20/2009 09:29:23 AM · #304 |
Originally posted by alans_world:
Your life is way too busy, with way too much in the way of opportunity's (hell look at whats happened over the last year with your photography) to worry yourself over one boy. Keep on keeping on girl and soon it will be him looking back and feeling the fool.. |
i dont have enough to keep myself busy every second of the day to not sit down and feel the fool myself, but i am busy i guess, and i dont really have time for all the high school bullshit i have managed to avoid until now. yeah, i guess just try and keep myself busy and improving. thanks |
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09/20/2009 09:30:11 AM · #305 |
Emotion is good. It also hurts - go figure. Sometimes pills or rational thought or whatever it takes can help you sleep at night (or in extreme cases, stay alive). Mostly, you wouldn't want to be without your feelings and emotions because they're the big red fire inside that drives the engine. You got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues, etc.
Thing is, it's all yours. By all means cry on our shoulders, that's what they're for. When we say 'he/she makes me mad/sad', though, it's only half true, because the mad/sad bit is inside us and part of our own emotional estate. Nobody else is in there.
True, we invest emotionally in other people and we may feel that they have failed to honour a contract (a perceived contract, but we go around perceiving this stuff all the time). Whether or not both parties see the deal the same way, or whether they should have seen it the same way, is often pretty unclear. When the storm is over, there are dividends in checking that stuff out.
Right now though, you're riding on the storm and it's all yours. You're alive! I think auntie Snaffles is coming round with a plate of brownies in a minute. |
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09/20/2009 11:51:00 AM · #306 |
Originally posted by raish:
Emotion is good. It also hurts - go figure. Sometimes pills or rational thought or whatever it takes can help you sleep at night (or in extreme cases, stay alive). Mostly, you wouldn't want to be without your feelings and emotions because they're the big red fire inside that drives the engine. You got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues, etc.
Thing is, it's all yours. By all means cry on our shoulders, that's what they're for. When we say 'he/she makes me mad/sad', though, it's only half true, because the mad/sad bit is inside us and part of our own emotional estate. Nobody else is in there.
True, we invest emotionally in other people and we may feel that they have failed to honour a contract (a perceived contract, but we go around perceiving this stuff all the time). Whether or not both parties see the deal the same way, or whether they should have seen it the same way, is often pretty unclear. When the storm is over, there are dividends in checking that stuff out.
Right now though, you're riding on the storm and it's all yours. You're alive! I think auntie Snaffles is coming round with a plate of brownies in a minute. |
oh brownies is a great idea. i may need to go make some now. thanks raish, its nice just hearing the wisdom of team suck sometimes:)
just got done with the first photoshoot of the day and it put me in a relatively good mood. but still. yeah. suckage |
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09/20/2009 12:14:54 PM · #307 |
Re-do of the hitchhiker, over the top? I'm never sure these days.
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09/20/2009 12:39:22 PM · #308 |
| Katherine, no, not the mars look, but with all the smoke around here it takes a lot of processing to get any detail out of the horizon.. |
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09/20/2009 01:10:31 PM · #309 |
Originally posted by alans_world:
Katherine, no, not the mars look, but with all the smoke around here it takes a lot of processing to get any detail out of the horizon.. |
i still think it looks really awesome. just surreal, not sure if thats what you're going for or not |
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09/20/2009 04:27:34 PM · #310 |
crap crap cra crap crap
the one thing i said i would never ever shoot i am not shooting next saturday
damn damn damn |
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09/20/2009 05:04:22 PM · #311 |
Originally posted by LadyK:
crap crap cra crap crap
the one thing i said i would never ever shoot i am not shooting next saturday
damn damn damn |
Who's getting married? |
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09/20/2009 05:06:26 PM · #312 |
Originally posted by Kelli:
Originally posted by LadyK:
crap crap cra crap crap
the one thing i said i would never ever shoot i am not shooting next saturday
damn damn damn |
Who's getting married? |
oh you are damn good!
the girl who i shot for the teen pregnancy thing a few months ago i finally getting married. not sure what to expect:/ |
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09/20/2009 05:24:38 PM · #313 |
I did two weddings this summer. I actually enjoyed shooting them. If you can, get a friend to shoot, too. Takes a bit of pressure off, you can both cover things at the same time that would be hard otherwise. Ask the bride and groom if there are any shots they really want - write those down. Plan to spend some time after the wedding but before the reception to do "formal" shots of the couple plus family if they want. If there are two shooters, the second shooter can go to the reception and take pictures of the guests as they arrive, outside if the weather is good. Shoot couples, families, friends, whatever - the bride and groom will have shots of all their guests this way.
If the person officiating at the wedding doesn't want you shooting during the ceremony, don't shoot. Don't worry about it either. Shots during the actual ceremony are difficult at best. Always better to restage them afterwards if you can and need to.
Remember, these guys aren't DPC voters. They don't want "perfect" - they want memories. Go in with that attitude, plenty of cards, and shoot away. You'll do better than fine. :-) |
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09/20/2009 06:15:40 PM · #314 |
...I think auntie Snaffles is coming round with a plate of brownies in a minute. [/quote]
Here you go, snaffly!  Though how raish knew I made brownies recently I don't know...enjoy, and will fire off an auntie-ish PM too. :-) |
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09/20/2009 06:16:41 PM · #315 |
Originally posted by snaffles:
...I think auntie Snaffles is coming round with a plate of brownies in a minute. |
Here you go, snaffly! Though how raish knew I made brownies recently I don't know...enjoy, and will fire off an auntie-ish PM too. :-) [/quote]
oh thanks snaffles:) may have to wait after my nued shoot(ARG!!) my dude jsut walked through the door. love you all in case you never hear from me again! lol |
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09/20/2009 06:37:33 PM · #316 |
Originally posted by LadyK:
can i just have a moment?
JDub and i broke up in June, as you all know from my name change. I have been with two other guys since then to keep me preoccupied from still having extremely mixed feelings about JDub. Last night, and the homecoming dance i refused to go to, him and an other girl were really getting down, and apparently they are dating now. Yes yes, i should be over it by now, and im trying to be. im trying to make myself ok with the fact that our time is over and i need to get used to it. unfortunately that feeling lasts for about 3 minutes at a tme before i want to go scream and cry and beat the shit out of someone. Ive done all i can possibly do on my computer to keep my head elsewhere; i even planned a nude shoot and a senior photo shoot for today to keep me busy.
But still. how does anyone else deal? its like acceptance is seriously not cooperating in my head, even though i think im trying. i even wished him luck last night, which he took as sarcasm(fabulous:/)
um?? |
as to this, he wasn't the right guy for you, because he didn't cherish you. Believe me, you want to end up with someone who will completely and totally cherish you (obviously, as much as you cherish him.) If you have this, you will have someone who will go to the store at 2am because you're pregnant and craving Tahitian Treat soda and fudgecicles. You'll have someone who will get up with you and the baby at 3:30 in the morning when it's feeding time, so he can read both of you a story. You'll have someone who will hold you every time you cry about missing your father after he died, even though it's been a year and 1/2. You may think what you had was good enough, but believe me, you DO NOT want to settle for less -- you deserve this. And if he's not smart enough to realize how incredible you are, you really wouldn't want to end up with him anyway.
Every teenager gets sick and tired of hearing "grownups" tell them that they're young and they'll get over it. Unfortunately, they tell you that because they've been through it, they've seen their friends go through it, and even more importantly, they've seen people who have made the wrong choices and are living the consequences. It's very easy to fall in love, and it will happen again, perhaps a couple of times, but the experiences teach you what's important and helps make all the difference down the road. It's normal to hurt, and the hurt will probably last awhile, but there is someone better for you. Be patient and realize that it is more than worth waiting for. Don't cheat yourself -- you deserve to be cherished!
ok, thus ends Wendy's Advice Column. |
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09/20/2009 07:05:57 PM · #317 |
Oh yeah snaffly, I second everything Wendy says too. If whoever you're with doesn't appreciate you and cherish you, and accept you for who you are, then he's probably not Mr right.
A quick fer example: The Belgian guy would try to 'teach' me stuff by making me feel bad or stupid for not knowing about it; he'd ridicule me in front of his 12-yr-old son when he had the chance.
Ryan teaches me by using patience and humour. Last night he was going through my manual cause he'd asked if I had custom white balance and spot metering in my camera, and I just looked at him blankly. So he picked up my camera bag, brought it over to me, told me (nicely) to take my camera out, and walked me through it.
No nastiness, no cutting remarks, no sarcasm, no insinuations that I'm stupid or not deserving of his time and attention. Sure, he has an agenda...to help me get the most out of my camera and learn how to use all the little built-in features that make life a lot easier. That's it. And my knowing that he was doing this, only to help me, made me want to learn all the more.
It was only after this little walk-through that I told him I am almost dyslexic when it comes to learning technical stuff, that I really need to absorb it a certain way. And that way - taa-daaa! - just happens to be the approach he uses naturally.
It may be awhile before you too stumble upon someone as wonderful and good to you as Ryan is to me, but in the meantime learn from the past. |
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09/20/2009 08:07:15 PM · #318 |
somehow i managed to actually get through both of your posts without crying over everything. yes, im that awesome. i was talking to someone somewhere who told me that there are so many billion people in the world, that ther is no need to settle for anyone less then whos perfect for you. and i really did take that to heart, its just hard to apply it all the time. JDub and i ever agreed that when we broke up we weren't perfect for each other, therefor it was just a painful stupid relationship for both of us. i never respected him because of his lack of motivation in life, and that made it hard for me to be pleasant to him. and yes i know ill get over him and future guys, it just sucks in the mean time.
so yeah. thanks guys. im trying to avoid crying anymore, so dont throw anything out there too sad and sobby cause id prefer not losing it:) |
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09/20/2009 08:49:24 PM · #319 |
Originally posted by LadyK:
somehow i managed to actually get through both of your posts without crying over everything. yes, im that awesome. i was talking to someone somewhere who told me that there are so many billion people in the world, that ther is no need to settle for anyone less then whos perfect for you. and i really did take that to heart, its just hard to apply it all the time. JDub and i ever agreed that when we broke up we weren't perfect for each other, therefor it was just a painful stupid relationship for both of us. i never respected him because of his lack of motivation in life, and that made it hard for me to be pleasant to him. and yes i know ill get over him and future guys, it just sucks in the mean time.
so yeah. thanks guys. im trying to avoid crying anymore, so dont throw anything out there too sad and sobby cause id prefer not losing it:) |
don't worry about the losing it--there is absolutely nothing wrong with crying. I spent quite awhile crying over an idiot, and spent my time (at 17 yrs old) knitting a nothing. It was a nothing, because there was no pattern, I just knit, because I needed something to do. The nice thing about it is you get to look back and realize what an idiot you were. OMG, if I ended up marrying that guy, I would have been the most miserable person on the planet! But go ahead and cry, because the more you hold it in, the longer it takes to get over it. And in between the crying, make a list of everything that irritated you about him, and then imagine you and he 20 years later. Things that were bad now were not going to just go away. If he had no motivation now, it wasn't going to miraculously fix itself. Imagine yourself with 3 kids and another on the way, and him still saying "I'll figure out what I going to do sooner or later, I still have time."
Just be patient with yourself and don't beat yourself up. |
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09/20/2009 08:58:17 PM · #320 |
| Listen to these ladies... they know what they're talking about. |
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09/20/2009 08:58:29 PM · #321 |
i guess i feel like i could have done something about his slackerness, which i know is stupid but i still try every day. i always thought that if he figured out when a loser he is he would do something about it, but he never has and he never will. and i know marrying him or even being with him longer would have been detrimental to my health(ha)
oh, and i knit. maybe ill finish the sweater that ive been working on for like three years:) its really cute! |
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09/20/2009 10:00:19 PM · #322 |
Originally posted by LadyK:
i guess i feel like i could have done something about his slackerness, which i know is stupid but i still try every day. i always thought that if he figured out when a loser he is he would do something about it, but he never has and he never will. and i know marrying him or even being with him longer would have been detrimental to my health(ha)
oh, and i knit. maybe ill finish the sweater that ive been working on for like three years:) its really cute! |
YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! That was the stupid mistake I kept making as a teenager. I would fall for the losers. I would see such potential and figured I could save them! They just needed someone to love them and help them become the incredible person they could be. BULLSH*T (and I don't swear...)
Think about it this way -- could a guy change you? What would you think if someone was dating you and decided that he could change you into the perfect female? How likely is that?
Really, when it comes down to it, what you see is what you get. YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! |
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09/20/2009 10:10:49 PM · #323 |
Originally posted by vawendy:
Originally posted by LadyK:
i guess i feel like i could have done something about his slackerness, which i know is stupid but i still try every day. i always thought that if he figured out when a loser he is he would do something about it, but he never has and he never will. and i know marrying him or even being with him longer would have been detrimental to my health(ha)
oh, and i knit. maybe ill finish the sweater that ive been working on for like three years:) its really cute! |
YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! That was the stupid mistake I kept making as a teenager. I would fall for the losers. I would see such potential and figured I could save them! They just needed someone to love them and help them become the incredible person they could be. BULLSH*T (and I don't swear...)
Think about it this way -- could a guy change you? What would you think if someone was dating you and decided that he could change you into the perfect female? How likely is that?
Really, when it comes down to it, what you see is what you get. YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! |
lol i know wendy i know!! my head hasnt figured it out all the way though. and if anyone tried to change me, they'd be gone so fast. huh. i should learn from that. but i wont:) give me ten yrs or so lol |
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09/20/2009 10:19:27 PM · #324 |
Originally posted by LadyK:
Originally posted by vawendy:
Originally posted by LadyK:
i guess i feel like i could have done something about his slackerness, which i know is stupid but i still try every day. i always thought that if he figured out when a loser he is he would do something about it, but he never has and he never will. and i know marrying him or even being with him longer would have been detrimental to my health(ha)
oh, and i knit. maybe ill finish the sweater that ive been working on for like three years:) its really cute! |
YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! That was the stupid mistake I kept making as a teenager. I would fall for the losers. I would see such potential and figured I could save them! They just needed someone to love them and help them become the incredible person they could be. BULLSH*T (and I don't swear...)
Think about it this way -- could a guy change you? What would you think if someone was dating you and decided that he could change you into the perfect female? How likely is that?
Really, when it comes down to it, what you see is what you get. YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE! |
lol i know wendy i know!! my head hasnt figured it out all the way though. and if anyone tried to change me, they'd be gone so fast. huh. i should learn from that. but i wont:) give me ten yrs or so lol |
yup! We have all gone through it, my dear. Luckily, you've got a good head on your shoulders, and it will all work out for you. Luckily, my husband just wouldn't go away when we were dating, so it worked out for me :D |
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09/20/2009 10:27:33 PM · #325 |
Once again, Wendy's hit the nail bang on the head. Trying to change someone is next to impossible. If they change for the better, of their own accord, that's one thing; but to try to get them to change...well...that's a few years ago I stupidly stayed with someone for 5 1/2 years. I kept trying to change him and guess what, he kept on staying the same.
And why the Belgian lasted only 3 1/2 months, he kept trying to get ME to change. Now why on earth would anyone want that?! Because they want to control you.
Once again, I'm glad I've finally managed to meet someone who is quite happy with me as I am, and with whom I am equally happy as he is. Just wish it hadn't taken this long but oh well :-) |
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