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03/29/2009 12:18:30 AM · #1 |
Okay, it's rant, all you folks that want to jump down my throat, go for it!
Why is it some people to do nothing but bitch?
Yeah, I'm opinionated and outspoken, but I also have a lot of friends here, I try and be helpful and participate in many activities, and I like this site and the people on it for the most part.
Yet I constantly see what seems to me to be a constant group of peple who only show up when a thread starts getting an edge to it, or who constantly have criticism and never seem to offset it with any positive input.
The problem is that the negativity seems to work on too many people and they ge frustrated and leave, some with fanfare, some without. It seems to me that the Grand Exit threads are more of a plea for support than actual intent to leave, and most of the time decent people can be talked out of leaving once they discover that there are people here who don't get mired in negativity, and voice their interest in having people stick around.
I'll get wound up about something, have half a dozen people come out of nowhere with what seems an awful lot like self-appointed designators of attitude who tell me I'm an @$$hole, so I get annoyed and frustrated and chill for a couple of days, yet I then ge half a dozen PMs from people who tell me not to let it get me down.
It *IS* frustrating, and I just don't get the people who seriously never seem to get any enjoyment out of what goes on here, yet they always seem to appear in the middle of a flamefest and/or Rant threads.
I don't get that.......what kind of life is that when you never seem to have any fun?
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03/29/2009 12:24:46 AM · #2 |
How I've handled it for 7+ years.
1. consider the source. seriously. a person's negative attitude and harsh words says much more about them than it does the message they are delivering.
2. ignore them. as irritating as they may be, responding to them only gives them something else to respond to. when someone posts something annoying/irritating/wrong/negative, if everyone would ignore them, it would stop. i've seen people post some asinine stuff, the next 4 or 5 posters ignore it, then bam! someone has to address it and a virtual war starts.
4. there is no 3, and i can't think of a 4. the first two pretty much do it for me. if they don't, i ignore the thread (and secretly wish for an "ignore user" button). |
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03/29/2009 10:12:16 AM · #3 |
You'll never escape them, Jeb. I think karmat is right; we just have to ignore them. Sometimes it drives me crazy to have to listen to them and not respond, but like we've all said here, responding just eggs them on.
And until we get that coveted "ignore user" button, we'll just have to ignore them manually :-)
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03/29/2009 10:41:26 AM · #4 |
What they are saying... If you can't separate "online" from "reality" then there's no hope at all. YOu are just electrons on a screen to these people, and that's all they are to you. Easiest thing in the world to ignore them, to not rise to the bait, unless you *choose* to for whatever reason, and then the onus is on *you* not to get personally involved.
The only power these people have over you is the power you choose to give them. That's the bottom line.
R.
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03/29/2009 04:35:54 PM · #5 |
I have much to learn.....8>)
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03/29/2009 05:27:23 PM · #6 |
Mostly the negativity happens in the rant forums and outside those, things are more civilized, mostly. You can turn off the rant forums. Maybe that would help. |
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03/29/2009 07:02:16 PM · #7 |
I just need to add Jeb, that seeing your own attitude on this forum is part of what has convinced me to experiment more and to not care as much about scores. I've learned a lot and I know my photography is better, even if specific challenges don't reflect it. It's quite liberating. (At least until the next time I have a surefire 6 that comes in at a 5.1!) |
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03/29/2009 07:33:18 PM · #8 |
This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a long, long time. |
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03/29/2009 07:38:11 PM · #9 |
I posted something, but it was too verbose so I removed it.
Message edited by author 2009-03-29 22:49:57. |
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03/29/2009 07:51:53 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff: I just need to add Jeb, that seeing your own attitude on this forum is part of what has convinced me to experiment more and to not care as much about scores. I've learned a lot and I know my photography is better, even if specific challenges don't reflect it. It's quite liberating. (At least until the next time I have a surefire 6 that comes in at a 5.1!) |
Funny that......
I have *SO* learned not to try to guess which way the scores will go.
There are some times when I know that I've done well at what I set out to do, but that doesn't always mean that the voters will see it the same way.
I am still reeling at the score I got on my Abandonded entry.....I really would not have pegged it as a 7+ score. It's definitely one of my favorite images, and much to my surprise it took a first here in a local competition, but it still surprises me how much people like it.
I aways thought my propensity for old, ratty suff was kind of odd! LOL!!!
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03/29/2009 08:38:18 PM · #11 |
Originally posted by NikonJeb: Okay, it's rant, all you folks that want to jump down my throat, go for it!
Why is it some people to do nothing but bitch? |
Aren't you one of them? Aren't you bitching about people bitching? |
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03/29/2009 08:42:56 PM · #12 |
Originally posted by NikonJeb: Okay, it's rant, all you folks that want to jump down my throat, go for it!
Why is it some people to do nothing but bitch? |
Originally posted by Dirt_Diver: Aren't you one of them? Aren't you bitching about people bitching? |
I love you too, Joe!......8>)
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03/29/2009 08:45:26 PM · #13 |
Originally posted by Dirt_Diver: Aren't you one of them? Aren't you bitching about people bitching? |
Isn't irony awesome!? |
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03/29/2009 08:50:23 PM · #14 |
Originally posted by Dirt_Diver: Aren't you one of them? Aren't you bitching about people bitching? |
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff: Isn't irony awesome!? |
My actual point was that there seem to be some people that never seem to have the upswing that the rest of humanity has.
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03/29/2009 08:58:55 PM · #15 |
Originally posted by NikonJeb: Originally posted by Dirt_Diver: Aren't you one of them? Aren't you bitching about people bitching? |
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff: Isn't irony awesome!? |
My actual point was that there seem to be some people that never seem to have the upswing that the rest of humanity has. |
Jeb, sorry to say this but if you use the virtual world as a measure of humanity, you are relying too much on the forums for socialization. The web is whatever mask you wish it to be. With sincerity comes accountability and personas exhibited in forums are rarely accountable if ever at all.
I bitch, you bitch, we all bitch because the web offers a degree of anonymity that enables us to do so with little consequence. I doubt very many of the entities posting on these sites would be recognizable in a face to face conversation. I am VERY certain of that.
your measuring stick is flawed because you are measuring a falsity that is accountable to no one. |
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03/30/2009 11:50:19 PM · #16 |
Originally posted by posthumous: I posted something, but it was too verbose so I removed it. |
How very unique. |
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03/31/2009 10:40:59 AM · #17 |
Originally posted by tnun: Originally posted by posthumous: I posted something, but it was too verbose so I removed it. |
How very unique. |
Trying to set an example for the community, as usual. |
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03/31/2009 10:53:45 AM · #18 |
But with the whole digital thing, very few people even use negatives any more.... There's that odd bunch doing film here, but well, they're odd... :-) |
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03/31/2009 11:04:45 AM · #19 |
This says it all. I have enough trouble micro managing my own life let alone someone's that I wouldn't know if they passed me on the street
Originally posted by karmat: How I've handled it for 7+ years.
1. consider the source. seriously. a person's negative attitude and harsh words says much more about them than it does the message they are delivering.
2. ignore them. as irritating as they may be, responding to them only gives them something else to respond to. when someone posts something annoying/irritating/wrong/negative, if everyone would ignore them, it would stop. i've seen people post some asinine stuff, the next 4 or 5 posters ignore it, then bam! someone has to address it and a virtual war starts.
4. there is no 3, and i can't think of a 4. the first two pretty much do it for me. if they don't, i ignore the thread (and secretly wish for an "ignore user" button). |
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03/31/2009 12:07:45 PM · #20 |
I just think of boobies and everything turn out just fine (.)(.)
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03/31/2009 01:24:18 PM · #21 |
Originally posted by posthumous: Originally posted by tnun: Originally posted by posthumous: I posted something, but it was too verbose so I removed it. |
How very unique. |
Trying to set an example for the community, as usual. |
Just being pleonastic. |
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03/31/2009 11:09:31 PM · #22 |
Originally posted by Beagleboy: I just think of boobies and everything turn out just fine (.)(.) |
You and Jacko. |
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03/31/2009 11:19:41 PM · #23 |
Pleonastic. Pleonastic is my middle name. Actually, it's both my middle names. Ma was a bit pleonastic herself. |
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03/31/2009 11:55:46 PM · #24 |
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04/01/2009 12:29:13 AM · #25 |
Originally posted by Beagleboy: I just think of boobies and everything turn out just fine (.)(.) |
I carry a photo of boobies in my purse. Just in case things go wrong .... |
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