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11/30/2008 09:53:13 AM · #1 |
I saw this posted at the gym today and it really struck home- I've been thinking quite a bit about how grateful I am- some days. Other days I am just overwhelmed. I'm trying hard to stick with the former.
Taken from the blog of Tim Ferriss- really worthwhile reading.
Tim Ferriss Blog
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk and zen teacher once nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King, Jr., has a knack for making the esoteric understandable.
In discussing what some call "present state awareness"–experiencing and savoring the present—he offers a simple parable:
Let's say that you want to eat a peach for dessert one evening, but you decide to only allow yourself this luxury after washing the dishes. If, while washing the dishes, all you think of is eating the peach, what will you be thinking of when you eat the peach?
The clogged inbox, that difficult conversation you've been putting off, tomorrow's to-do list?
The peach is eaten but not enjoyed, and so on we continue through life, victims of a progressively lopsided culture that values achievement over appreciation. But let's get specific.
If we define "achievement" as obtaining things we desire (whether raises, relationships, cars, pets, or otherwise) that have the potential to give us pleasure, let's define "appreciation" as our ability to get pleasure out of those things. To focus on the former to the exclusion of the latter is like valuing cooking over eating.
How then, do we develop the skill of appreciation, which is tied so closely to present state awareness?
There are a few unorthodox tools that we've explored already for state awareness, like the 21-day no-complaint experiment, but the most common mainstream prescription is meditation.
The problem with meditation is that it too often gets mixed with mysticism and judgment (attempting to forcefully exclude certain thoughts and emotions). Who really wants to visualize a candle flame for 30 minutes? It can work, but it doesn't work for most.
Here's where we enter the 60-second solution: gratitude training. From Cornell to the University of Michigan, scientists are looking at the far-reaching effects of practicing gratitude just like exercise.
Here is one example from Dr. Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis and Dr. Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas:
"The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the dayâ€Â¦ the second group recorded their unpleasant experiences, [and] the last group made a daily list of things for which they were grateful.
The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved.
McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages anotherâ€Â¦ McCullough suggests that anyone can increase their sense of well-being and create positive social effects just from counting their blessings."
In practical terms, here is one example of how you can test the effects of gratitude training in less than 10 minutes over the next week:
From Thanksgiving to next Thursday, November 29th, ask yourself the following question each morning, immediately upon waking up and before getting out of bed:
What am I truly grateful for in my life?
Aim for five answers, and if you have trouble at first, ask yourself alternative probing questions such as:
What relationships do I have that others don't?
What do I take for granted?
What freedoms, unique abilities, and options do I have that others don't?
What advantages have I been given in life?
Which allies and supporters have helped me to get to where I am?
Thanksgiving shouldn't just come once a year. Use it as a system restart and a chance to put your appreciation back on track with your achievement.
Don't forget the peachâ€Â¦ and Happy Thanksgiving!
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11/30/2008 10:05:55 AM · #2 |
| Very interesting post, Thomas, and does make you think. Thanks. |
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11/30/2008 10:56:20 AM · #3 |
| Very interesting indeed. But I can't for the life of me answer the first question. I have two relationships and they're with my sons. Both are healthy relationships and that's about it for relationships for me. |
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11/30/2008 11:42:40 AM · #4 |
| He's a little off though. The true art in life is to savor the dishwashing and the cooking as you savor the eating. In other words, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." The making of the thing should inspire you as much as the thing itself. |
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11/30/2008 11:53:36 AM · #5 |
Originally posted by Jac:
Very interesting indeed. But I can't for the life of me answer the first question. I have two relationships and they're with my sons. Both are healthy relationships and that's about it for relationships for me. |
Perhaps it refers to relationships in addition to human. For instance, you might have a special connection to animals, to Nature, perhaps you see things others don't (most photogs do LOL); you may tune in better to feelings, or read others in an intuitive way.
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11/30/2008 12:55:32 PM · #6 |
Originally posted by Balko:
Originally posted by Jac:
Very interesting indeed. But I can't for the life of me answer the first question. I have two relationships and they're with my sons. Both are healthy relationships and that's about it for relationships for me. |
Perhaps it refers to relationships in addition to human. For instance, you might have a special connection to animals, to Nature, perhaps you see things others don't (most photogs do LOL); you may tune in better to feelings, or read others in an intuitive way. |
That's about it Balko. I relate to Nature in a way many relate to spirituality.
you may tune in better to feelings, or read others in an intuitive way.
I'm looking for a job that would require this trait. lol I recognize things in people that others do not and sometimes it gets to be bothersome because I cannot shut it off. I've been heard to mention that I wouldn't mind going blind and deaf for 24 hours just so I can ignore everything I usually perceive every waking moment.
Thanks for your reply, you've made my day. :)
Your reply describes my thinking very well. You must be a very perceptive person to hit the nail on the head as you did.
Message edited by author 2008-11-30 12:56:25. |
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11/30/2008 08:04:10 PM · #7 |
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11/30/2008 10:23:14 PM · #8 |
Originally posted by dahkota:
He's a little off though. The true art in life is to savor the dishwashing and the cooking as you savor the eating. In other words, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." The making of the thing should inspire you as much as the thing itself. |
Exactly.....
It's not the destination, it's the journey, and if you're able to make the journey do it with gratitude and zeal.
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11/30/2008 11:30:56 PM · #9 |
| It's also imnportant to have gratitude for things yet to come. |
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