DPChallenge: A Digital Photography Contest You are not logged in. (log in or register
 

DPChallenge Forums >> Rant >> Homophobia redux
Pages:  
Showing posts 76 - 100 of 104, (reverse)
AuthorThread
11/05/2007 12:34:59 PM · #76
Originally posted by muckpond:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

I've had men flirt with me on numerous occasions and every time I too was flattered. Certainly not offended or angry. Why would I be anything but flattered?


i would assume some people would not be flattered because they assume something about their appearance made the flirter think they were also homosexual.


Or they are in a place where it was more likely than not that a person there was homosexual.

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.
11/05/2007 12:35:18 PM · #77
Originally posted by kashi:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

I've had men flirt with me on numerous occasions and every time I too was flattered. Certainly not offended or angry. Why would I be anything but flattered?


Realistically, you should not be - someone is letting you know that they find you interesting / attractive. Why would that be offensive ?

Unfortunately, it seems to quite often be thought of as offensive - whether that comes from an inborn fear of being thought of as "less masculine" or something else, I have no idea.


I dunno either.
11/05/2007 12:39:40 PM · #78
The thing is flirting has no boundaries. I've been flirted with by both homosexual and heterosexual men and women. And, I've flirted back. It's not about sex in the end. It's about interest as a person. The only time I was ever offended was when a woman stuck her tongue down my throat (when I thought she was going to kiss me on the cheek). I would have been just as offended if it was done by a man. People are people, and what they do behind closed doors is their business, not mine. I've found that homosexual people are some of the best friends you could have because they do take you for who you are, not who you sleep with. I'm not being very eloquent with my words, so try not to twist this.
11/05/2007 12:40:02 PM · #79
While not proud of it, I was once extremely homophobic. Growing up, I was taught a lot of things which simply left no room for acceptance of others. I was very fortunate to fall in love with such a wonderful person - who happened to be acceptable to my family (extremely well behaved white girl of baptist descent). I say fortunate, because I've heard many times over the years that:

"If you ever marry a black woman, I'll disown you."
"If you were to 'turn' gay, I'll disown you."
etc., etc., etc.

Thankfully, someone took the time to explain to me that 'being hit on' by ANYone, was a very sincere form of flattery (and basically a compliment). Having overcome many prejudices living in the southeast USA, I can only hope to live as accepting-ly (and in such a caring manner) as most of the homosexual persons I've met in life.

eta - lest there be doubt, I've been of the 'live & let live' camp for over a decade...

Message edited by author 2007-11-06 05:02:53.
11/05/2007 12:48:08 PM · #80
Originally posted by Spazmo99:

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.

Well. Ok. Whereas I know that there are many gay men who are not stereotypically gay-acting, I think it's not too difficult to tell sometimes, but I guess that's another can of worms. What I would say is that very few straight men are effeminate, if any. I know it's not particularly politically correct to have such views, but I've had many, many friends, acquaintances, and co-workers over the years of every persuasion, and the stereotypical gay effeminate man is for real, no question about it. I don't think it's out of line to say that I could probaby pick the gay guy out of a lineup seven times out of ten.
11/05/2007 01:02:41 PM · #81
Originally posted by Louis:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.

Well. Ok. Whereas I know that there are many gay men who are not stereotypically gay-acting, I think it's not too difficult to tell sometimes, but I guess that's another can of worms. What I would say is that very few straight men are effeminate, if any. I know it's not particularly politically correct to have such views, but I've had many, many friends, acquaintances, and co-workers over the years of every persuasion, and the stereotypical gay effeminate man is for real, no question about it. I don't think it's out of line to say that I could probaby pick the gay guy out of a lineup seven times out of ten.


Like most stereotypes, there's a kernel of truth to the stereotype of the effeminate gay man, but it's certainly not the rule, nor even predominant.

11/05/2007 01:03:19 PM · #82
Originally posted by Louis:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.

Well. Ok. Whereas I know that there are many gay men who are not stereotypically gay-acting, I think it's not too difficult to tell sometimes, but I guess that's another can of worms. What I would say is that very few straight men are effeminate, if any. I know it's not particularly politically correct to have such views, but I've had many, many friends, acquaintances, and co-workers over the years of every persuasion, and the stereotypical gay effeminate man is for real, no question about it. I don't think it's out of line to say that I could probaby pick the gay guy out of a lineup seven times out of ten.


That's fallacious; better to say "the chances are 7 out of 10 the one effeminate man in the lineup is gay".

If the lineup has NO effeminate men in it, your success rate is going to plummet, even if one or more individuals do happen to be gay.

R.
11/05/2007 01:10:00 PM · #83
Originally posted by Louis:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.

Well. Ok. Whereas I know that there are many gay men who are not stereotypically gay-acting, I think it's not too difficult to tell sometimes, but I guess that's another can of worms. What I would say is that very few straight men are effeminate, if any. I know it's not particularly politically correct to have such views, but I've had many, many friends, acquaintances, and co-workers over the years of every persuasion, and the stereotypical gay effeminate man is for real, no question about it. I don't think it's out of line to say that I could probaby pick the gay guy out of a lineup seven times out of ten.


My wife worked with a guy that was unquestionably gay per all the stereotypes. He took the stereotypes to new levels in his actions, the way he talked, walked, he was flirty with men, only hung out with women... I could not even fathom him not being gay. When I met his wife and kids at the company christmas party I hope the shock on my face was not too obvious.
11/05/2007 01:11:11 PM · #84
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

If the lineup has NO effeminate men in it, your success rate is going to plummet, even if one or more individuals do happen to be gay.


he's just going to look at the quality of their shoes. :P
11/05/2007 01:11:50 PM · #85
Originally posted by LoudDog:

Originally posted by Louis:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.

Well. Ok. Whereas I know that there are many gay men who are not stereotypically gay-acting, I think it's not too difficult to tell sometimes, but I guess that's another can of worms. What I would say is that very few straight men are effeminate, if any. I know it's not particularly politically correct to have such views, but I've had many, many friends, acquaintances, and co-workers over the years of every persuasion, and the stereotypical gay effeminate man is for real, no question about it. I don't think it's out of line to say that I could probaby pick the gay guy out of a lineup seven times out of ten.


My wife worked with a guy that was unquestionably gay per all the stereotypes. He took the stereotypes to new levels in his actions, the way he talked, walked, he was flirty with men, only hung out with women... I could not even fathom him not being gay. When I met his wife and kids at the company christmas party I hope the shock on my face was not too obvious.


i work with a guy like that. his wife wears hockey skates when they go to the ice rink. take from that what you will.
11/05/2007 01:12:28 PM · #86
Originally posted by Bear_Music:



That's fallacious; better to say "the chances are 7 out of 10 the one effeminate man in the lineup is gay".

If the lineup has NO effeminate men in it, your success rate is going to plummet, even if one or more individuals do happen to be gay.

R.


One out of ten is 1 in 10. Being able to the one in the ten it out 7 out of 10 times is a different matter. Ten four?
11/05/2007 01:25:47 PM · #87
Originally posted by routerguy666:

Being able to the one in the ten it out 7 out of 10 times is a different matter.

That beer fridge they installed at work is pretty handy. :-P
11/05/2007 01:27:31 PM · #88
Originally posted by LoudDog:

My wife worked with a guy that was unquestionably gay per all the stereotypes. He took the stereotypes to new levels in his actions, the way he talked, walked, he was flirty with men, only hung out with women... I could not even fathom him not being gay. When I met his wife and kids at the company christmas party I hope the shock on my face was not too obvious.

Just so we're clear, being married to a woman does not necessarily guarantee your non-gayness.
11/05/2007 01:27:38 PM · #89
Originally posted by Louis:

Originally posted by routerguy666:

Being able to the one in the ten it out 7 out of 10 times is a different matter.

That beer fridge they installed at work is pretty handy. :-P


I'm simply stunned that I typed that.
11/05/2007 01:28:36 PM · #90
Originally posted by routerguy666:

Originally posted by Bear_Music:



That's fallacious; better to say "the chances are 7 out of 10 the one effeminate man in the lineup is gay".

If the lineup has NO effeminate men in it, your success rate is going to plummet, even if one or more individuals do happen to be gay.

R.


One out of ten is 1 in 10. Being able to the one in the ten it out 7 out of 10 times is a different matter. Ten four?


He was referring to the stereotype though. He was saying, in essence, "The most effeminate guy in the lineup, 7 out of 10 times, will be the gay one." Has no bearing on his ability to winkle out "hidden gayness".

R.
11/05/2007 01:30:21 PM · #91
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

He was referring to the stereotype though. He was saying, in essence, "The most effeminate guy in the lineup, 7 out of 10 times, will be the gay one." Has no bearing on his ability to winkle out "hidden gayness".

You're both right. :P I can winkle with the best of 'em.
11/05/2007 02:10:15 PM · #92
I don't buy the stereotypes.

I've known some *very* effeminate gay males. I've known some gay males that flame brighter than the Olympic flame does. I've also known many who were your "all-American" guy-next door football and beer types.


11/05/2007 02:10:29 PM · #93
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

Originally posted by routerguy666:

Originally posted by Bear_Music:



That's fallacious; better to say "the chances are 7 out of 10 the one effeminate man in the lineup is gay".

If the lineup has NO effeminate men in it, your success rate is going to plummet, even if one or more individuals do happen to be gay.

R.


One out of ten is 1 in 10. Being able to the one in the ten it out 7 out of 10 times is a different matter. Ten four?


He was referring to the stereotype though. He was saying, in essence, "The most effeminate guy in the lineup, 7 out of 10 times, will be the gay one." Has no bearing on his ability to winkle out "hidden gayness".

R.


Think he said that 70% of the time he spends staring at all male revues, he can spot the one gay guy in the bunch.
11/05/2007 09:18:42 PM · #94
Originally posted by Louis:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.

Well. Ok. Whereas I know that there are many gay men who are not stereotypically gay-acting, I think it's not too difficult to tell sometimes, but I guess that's another can of worms. What I would say is that very few straight men are effeminate, if any. I know it's not particularly politically correct to have such views, but I've had many, many friends, acquaintances, and co-workers over the years of every persuasion, and the stereotypical gay effeminate man is for real, no question about it. I don't think it's out of line to say that I could probaby pick the gay guy out of a lineup seven times out of ten.


You may have a point but think of society... Straight men might hide the fact that the are effeminite to fit in and avoid being stereotyped. I have a few straight friends who are effeminite... one is completely fine with it and doesn't mind any implications that come along with it. The other is worried all the time and gets made fun of (I think he wouldn't as much if he didn't let it bother him, because bullies love reactions).

I also knew a guy who acted totally straight in high school and then came out in college. He said he knew the whole time he was gay but didn't want to deal with the drama of it in high school. In college he became more aware of himself and took on a more effeminite role that was probably more natural for him.

I think a lot is about socialization. It's considered "ok" for gay men to explore their feminine side, even prized, where as not so much for straight men...
11/05/2007 09:27:41 PM · #95
Originally posted by escapetooz:


I think a lot is about socialization. It's considered "ok" for gay men to explore their feminine side, even prized, where as not so much for straight men...


This bear is proudly in touch with his feminine side :-)

R.
11/06/2007 07:51:30 AM · #96
Originally posted by Spazmo99:

In any event, unless someone is wearing an "I'm a Homosexual" T-shirt, it's generally impossible to tell if someone's is homosexual or not by their appearance.

Originally posted by Louis:

Well. Ok. Whereas I know that there are many gay men who are not stereotypically gay-acting, I think it's not too difficult to tell sometimes, but I guess that's another can of worms. What I would say is that very few straight men are effeminate, if any. I know it's not particularly politically correct to have such views, but I've had many, many friends, acquaintances, and co-workers over the years of every persuasion, and the stereotypical gay effeminate man is for real, no question about it. I don't think it's out of line to say that I could probaby pick the gay guy out of a lineup seven times out of ten.

I have to agree with Spaz here....probably most of my gay friends are not "Screaming Queens"......male or female.

I'm probably a little older than a lot of you, as are my friends, and though most of my friends are established in the community as who they are, none of them have ever been the "Shout it from the rooftops" kind of people......any more than I have felt any necessity to wear the "I'm a straight guy" T-Shirt. They just are who they arte, and it has nothing to do with their sexual identity.

I do have one friend who jokes with me occasionally and says to me, "Are you *sure* you're not gay?", which usually follows me having said something particularly clever and wittuy, so it's pretty much meant as a bass-ackwards compliment, and I've always taken it as such.

It just goes back to my preference for being mistaken for gay rather than a redneck......8>)

Oh, and [user]Louis[/user], I could easily come up with an all gay lineup, both men and women and I'd really be surprised if any of them would fit the criteria of your gay scale......8>)
11/06/2007 07:53:37 AM · #97
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

Originally posted by escapetooz:


I think a lot is about socialization. It's considered "ok" for gay men to explore their feminine side, even prized, where as not so much for straight men...


This bear is proudly in touch with his feminine side :-)

R.

As am I......

Don't even get me started on the terrible inequity in this modern world between men and women.
11/06/2007 07:55:35 AM · #98
I would like to refer everyone to read muckponds original post.

Thread

Thank you all and have a wonderful day! :)
11/06/2007 08:49:51 AM · #99
Originally posted by NikonJeb:


I have to agree with Spaz here....


Mark this day in history...

j/k
11/06/2007 10:09:20 AM · #100
Originally posted by NikonJeb:


I have to agree with Spaz here....


Originally posted by Spazmo99:

Mark this day in history...

j/k

Hey!

I resemble that!

ROFL!!!
Pages:  
Current Server Time: 08/27/2025 07:31:36 PM

Please log in or register to post to the forums.


Home - Challenges - Community - League - Photos - Cameras - Lenses - Learn - Help - Terms of Use - Privacy - Top ^
DPChallenge, and website content and design, Copyright © 2001-2025 Challenging Technologies, LLC.
All digital photo copyrights belong to the photographers and may not be used without permission.
Current Server Time: 08/27/2025 07:31:36 PM EDT.