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09/16/2007 09:44:08 PM · #1 |
Baseball glossary written by Akaky.
Akaky
It has come to my attention that many non-American members of LS find the constant baseball references used by the American members something of a mystery. It seems, therefore, that a small glossary of baseball terms would be a good thing for those of you unfamiliar with the game. I will try to get the most confusing terms out of the way first, and then move on to other things.
1. Balk: No one really knows what the hell a balk is; even the umpires aren’t all that sure and they’ve read the rule book, or so they say; sometimes you get the impression they just looked at the pictures; but like pornography, we all know a balk when we see it. Balks have something to do with the pitcher, who is the gentleman standing on that big pile of dirt in the middle of the field, moving and then stopping or stopping and then moving without checking if there’s a red light at this intersection, thereby causing gridlock from one end of town to the other. Before you try this in your own automobile I suggest you check the traffic conditions in your area.
2. Bat: The bat is the piece of wood with which a batter tries to hit the ball. The bat is usually hewn from Canadian maple or Kentucky ash and should be a solid piece of wood and should not be hollowed out to contain tennis balls, cork, metal, or any other foreign substance that gives the batter an unfair advantage over the pitcherâ€Â¦okay, I can hear the Americans snickering out there, knock it off. In high school games, such as the one pictured here, the bat is made from aluminum. This is done so that the schools can save money by not replacing broken bats and to get American males used to the idea of holding an aluminum can in their hands. The beer, potato chips, and the couch will come later at no extra charge.
3. Batter: A man who makes what I make in a year for the amount of time it takes him to adjust his jockstrap, and that’s without him trying to hit a ball. If he manages to do this three times out of every ten times attempted, he is a good hitter. This may work in baseball, but if the doctor your best friend recommends has a similar average vis-a-vis the survivability of his patients, you may want to get a second opinion about that growth on your left leg.
4. Battery: Oddly enough, batters don’t have anything to do with the battery, other than stand between the two people that comprise the battery. For reasons lost in the mists of time, the pitcher and the catcher together are called the battery; no one in the game is called the assault or even the unsalted. No, I don’t know why.
5. Ball: There is a difference between the literal ball and the descriptive ball, as you might imagine. The literal ball is the ball with which the game is played. The descriptive ball needs a little explanation.
The batter stands in the batter’s box next to a house shaped plate that is set into the ground. This is home plate and is not available in china or in stoneware, although you could probably pick up a set of them cheap on eBay. The zone between the batter’s knees to the point just under the name of the team on his shirt and extending out to the other edge of the plate is the strike zone, so-called because of baseball’s never-ending class struggle the player proletariat against the capitalist bastards who ruthlessly exploit them. The American readers will now please stop saying, yeah right. Thank you.
Now, baseball strikes come in a variety of forms, only some of which are familiar to labor movements elsewhere in the world. You could not swing at a ball thrown (or pitched, as the process is called in baseball) through the strike zone or you can swing at a ball and miss it entirely or you can swing at it and hit the ball foul, which is to say, on either side of the playing field; this, however, only counts as a strike the first two times you do it—after that you can hit as many foul balls as you want and they don’t count for anything except as a gauge of the pitcher’s frustration. A ball, on the other hand, is any pitch that goes below the batter’s knees or above the letters on the front of his uniform or does not cross over some portion of home plate. The person who determines all of this is the fat guy who stands behind the catcher. This is the umpire, whose job it is to decide whether the pitch was a ball or a strike and to enforce the rules of the game on a bunch of overpaid egomaniacs. The umpire is either, depending on which team you support, a judicious and serious solon carefully and correctly applying the standards of the game, or a stupid, fat, blind as a frigging bat jackass obviously taking money from someone somewhere to make sure your team loses. The general rule of thumb in these cases is that if everyone is mad at the umpire he must be doing something right.
6. Fly out rule: On a ball hit into the air, the runner cannot advance to the next base until the ball is caught. To advance, the runner must return to his base and touch it, or tagging up, as it’s called, and then wait for the opposing player to catch the ball. The runner can use this time to ask the opposing infielder for some money, maybe ten or twenty bucks, you know, just enough to tide him over until payday, or for the loan of his comb, since running the bases does tend to make you look scruffy and this is hardly the image you want to present to the television audience. Once the opposing player catches the ball, the runner can advance if he thinks he can do this safely. Sometimes a batter will hit a fly ball far enough into the outfield that a player can tag up and then run to the next base in relative safety. When this happens, the batter is credited with a sacrifice fly, which, despite its name, has no religious implications whatsoever.
7. Infield fly rule: When there are fewer than two outs and men on first and second base, the umpire may call out a batter who hits a fly ball to one of the infielders. He does not do this because he dislikes the batter, although he could, I suppose, if he really wanted to. The infield fly rule is invoked in order to prevent the infielder from dropping the ball, thereby compelling the runners to advance into a double play, of which more later. This sort of thing was very common in the 19th century, when baseball was not the genteel sport it is today; no one in today’s game would think of doing such a thing. You know, I can still hear you people snickering.
8. Double play: A defensive play in which a ball hit by the batter causes two outs instead of the usual one. There are many ways you can come up with a double play, but the classic one is the 6-4-3 play, in which the shortstop, the player defending the area to the left of second base, fields a ball hit to him and throws the ball to the second baseman, the player defending the area to the right of second base, who then steps on second base, forcing out the runner coming from first, and then throws the ball to first base before the batter can get to it, forcing him out as well. Triple plays exist as well, but they are exceedingly rare, and an unassisted triple play, a play in which one player causes all three outs in a single play, is rarer than chicken teeth; I think they’ve only been like twelve or thirteen of them in recorded baseball history.
9. Infield: The inner part of the baseball field, where the game’s eponymous bases are. You can tell where the infield is by that big stretch of dirt usually a third of the way out in the field. Everything from there in to where the batter stands is the infield. Those lines you see converging at the point where the batter stands are called the baselines; everything inside those lines is fair territory, everything outside those lines is foul territory. It is called foul territory because this is where the players spit their tobacco juice. For all the millions the owners make every year, Major League Baseball is still skimpy about providing the players with spittoons.
10. Outfield: The large prairie beyond the infield, inhabited largely by cud chewing ruminant millionaires.
11. The New York Yankees: proof that God exists. This team plays at, appropriately enough, Yankee Stadium, or simply The Stadium. One can tell real New Yorkers from the many faux ones because they do not need to be told what stadium The Stadium is.
12. The New York Mets: working class Yankees, God love them. The Yankees coast sometimes; the Mets never do. And is there a more exciting player in baseball than Jose Reyes? I don’t think so.
13. Shea: where the Mets play.
14. Chicago Cubs: futility personified. If Chaplin’s little tramp were a baseball team, it’d be the Cubs. But they’ve got fan loyalty, no two ways about it. A Cub hits a home run, the fans grab the ball just like any other fans in baseball; an opposing player hits a home run, Cubs fans throw the ball back onto the field.
15. Philadelphia Phillies: the only team in any professional sport to ever lose 10,000 games in the course of its history. Do you really need to know more about them?
16. San Francisco Giants & Los Angeles Dodgers: teams Benedict Arnold and Vidkun Quisling would have rooted for.
17. Boston Red Sox: proof Satan exists. This diabolical horde and its minions conduct their loathsome rituals at a place called Fenway Park. New Yorkers routinely attempt to get the Air Force to nuke this place, but the Air Force seems reluctant to do so, which leads most New Yorkers to believe that at least one of this country’s armed forces are in league with the devil.
18. Bunting: a lost art, slain by economics.
19. Hit and run play: a play in which one player hits the ball, while a player runs. As the latter usually starts running before the former actually hits the ball, this is actually optimism in action, and, in the case of some players, hope raised to the nth degree.
20. Stealing a base: In baseball it is possible to engage in larceny without incurring the wrath of the local constabulary. One steals a base by waiting for the pitcher to throw the ball and then running to the next base. If you reach it, all is well. However, the catcher will not let you do this without throwing the ball to the second baseman and trying to catch you in the act. If you try to do this in Detroit, however, supporters of your team will call you nine different kinds of moron as they sit on their barstools. No one steals against Pudge. No one. The fact that you even tried proves that you are an idiot.
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09/16/2007 10:08:00 PM · #2 |
| Ok, now explain to everyone how many ways a batter can reach first base. I believe there are eight ways. no totally sure. :) |
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09/16/2007 11:42:10 PM · #3 |
Originally posted by swhiddon:
Ok, now explain to everyone how many ways a batter can reach first base. I believe there are eight ways. no totally sure. :) |
8?!?
Lessee ...
hit
walk
hit by pitch
error
fielder's choice
stolen first base (I think that's what it's called - when the catcher drops the third strike and you run to 1st)
Well, there's 6 off the top of my head
Google can give you more than you ever wanted to read on this subject.
Edited to add: thanks, MCH! That was quite amusing.
Message edited by author 2007-09-16 23:49:38.
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09/17/2007 02:34:35 PM · #4 |
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09/17/2007 03:01:12 PM · #5 |
I believe the Major Leagues have banned chewing tobacco, so that's all spit now ...
I think there was an unassisted triple-play just last year; and I think there's only been one ever during World Series play. What's even rarer these days (that is, since the days of Tris Speaker) is the unassisted double-play by an outfielder. |
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09/17/2007 03:05:36 PM · #6 |
I am certain you got #11 wrong. The Yankmes are the most hated team in the country; hated, in fact, by everyone except those who work for FOX Sports, ESPN, the Post, the Times and/or live in Manhattan, the Bronx, and Tampa.
And everyone knows what the Bronx is like. There is evil there that does not sleep.
#12 isn't much better, as everyone hates the Mets unless they live in Queens. And who the hell wants to live there?
#13 is also the name of Chipper Jones's youngest son. It is also a terrible stadium.
#17 is almost correct - when the BoSox play the Spankmes, they are angels before the Fall.
Otherwise, a round tripper.
PS: "Glossary" is spelled with an a. Anybody but a Yankees fan would know that.
Message edited by author 2007-09-17 15:13:33. |
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09/17/2007 03:39:45 PM · #7 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
I believe the Major Leagues have banned chewing tobacco, so that's all spit now ...
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No way. They are still spittin chew. Big dip plus a few pieces of bazooka joe makes for a mean lipper. |
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09/17/2007 03:44:59 PM · #8 |
#15 is a crock of sh*t and a statistic that only matters to people who get all their baseball knowledge from a watercooler session and perusing the headlines. There aren't many teams that have been in existence as long as the Phightin Phils have, 124 years. There are plenty of teams that are well on pace to hit that mark in the same amount of time, if not less.
The Phillies have some of the most dynamic players in the game, as well as last years MVP and one of this years potential MVPs. Not to mention this years team has swept the 1st place mets in 3 out of 4 series. |
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09/17/2007 03:52:00 PM · #9 |
i can only think of 7 ways to reach 1st base.
1. walk
2. hit
3. fielders choice
4. HBP
5. intentional walk
6. dropped 3 strike.
7. error.
Is there an 8th? |
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09/17/2007 03:54:34 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by Jmnuggy:
i can only think of 7 ways to reach 1st base.
1. walk
2. hit
3. fielders choice
4. HBP
5. intentional walk
6. dropped 3 strike.
7. error.
Is there an 8th? |
Behind the school building?
Originally posted by elemess:
PS: "Glossary" is spelled with an a. Anybody but a Yankees fan would know that. |
It's a glossery, not a dictonery. |
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09/17/2007 04:00:24 PM · #11 |
Originally posted by Jmnuggy:
i can only think of 7 ways to reach 1st base.
1. walk
2. hit
3. fielders choice
4. HBP
5. intentional walk
6. dropped 3 strike.
7. error.
Is there an 8th? |
Flowers work well.
Isn't a dropped third strike an error?
And I'd call a walk and a intentional walk the same.
But if you want to call those two different, a bunt single could also be considered different then a hit. |
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09/17/2007 04:01:41 PM · #12 |
| Just thought of one: If the first baseman blocks first base you get the base. |
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09/17/2007 04:03:08 PM · #13 |
| Another one: if the catcher reaches out and interferes with the batter's swing, the batter gets first base. |
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09/17/2007 04:05:35 PM · #14 |
Originally posted by Jmnuggy:
i can only think of 7 ways to reach 1st base.
1. walk
2. hit
3. fielders choice
4. HBP
5. intentional walk
6. dropped 3 strike.
7. error.
Is there an 8th? |
Pitch gets lodged in the umpire's equipment, but only if on ball four or strike three. It gets scored as a walk or a dropped third strike though.
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09/17/2007 04:07:58 PM · #15 |
Originally posted by LoudDog:
Originally posted by Jmnuggy:
i can only think of 7 ways to reach 1st base.
1. walk
2. hit
3. fielders choice
4. HBP
5. intentional walk
6. dropped 3 strike.
7. error.
Is there an 8th? |
Flowers work well.
Isn't a dropped third strike an error?
And I'd call a walk and a intentional walk the same.
But if you want to call those two different, a bunt single could also be considered different then a hit. |
Dropped 3rd pitch isn't an error, its usually called a wild pitch. An intentional walk and a base on balls are pretty different, because it takes skill and a good eye to get a base on balls, and often times a base on balls could have been a hit, but the intentional walk can never be a hit. |
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09/17/2007 04:08:57 PM · #16 |
Googled results:
1. walk
2. intentional walk
3. hit by pitch
4. dropped 3rd strike
5. fail to deliver pitch in 20 seconds
6. catcher interference
7. fielder interference
8. spectator interference
9. fan obstruction
10. fair ball hits ump
11. fair ball hits runner
12. fielder obstructs runner
13. pinch-runner
14. fielder's choice
15. force out at another base
16. preceding runner put-out allows batter to reach first
17. sac bunt fails to advance runner
18. sacrifice fly dropped
19. runner called out on appeal
20. error
21. four illegal pitches
22. game suspended with runner on first, that player is traded prior to
the makeup; new player is allowed to take his place
23. single |
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09/17/2007 04:10:11 PM · #17 |
Originally posted by ajdelaware:
Dropped 3rd pitch isn't an error, its usually called a wild pitch. |
The dropped 3rd pitch is credited to the catcher as an error. The pitcher still gets the K for a strikeout.
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09/17/2007 04:13:09 PM · #18 |
| There's a lot of redundancy in that list, for example, a dropped Sacrifice Fly is an error, a force-out is a fielder's choice ... |
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09/17/2007 04:15:21 PM · #19 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
There's a lot of redundancy in that list, for example, a dropped Sacrifice Fly is an error, a force-out is a fielder's choice ... |
I think that 23 item list has a little jest in it.
According to WIKI Answers, there are only 8 ways to get on base, with the rest just being versions of the first 8. |
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09/17/2007 04:16:13 PM · #20 |
Originally posted by SamDoe1:
Originally posted by ajdelaware:
Dropped 3rd pitch isn't an error, its usually called a wild pitch. |
The dropped 3rd pitch is credited to the catcher as an error. The pitcher still gets the K for a strikeout. |
I think its rarely credited as an error, unless someone reaches base though. |
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09/17/2007 04:19:17 PM · #21 |
Originally posted by ajdelaware:
Originally posted by SamDoe1:
Originally posted by ajdelaware:
Dropped 3rd pitch isn't an error, its usually called a wild pitch. |
The dropped 3rd pitch is credited to the catcher as an error. The pitcher still gets the K for a strikeout. |
I think its rarely credited as an error, unless someone reaches base though. |
Uncaught Third Strike (K; E-2; 2-3 or K;E-2; 2)
If the catcher drops the pitch that results in the third strike, the hitter immediately becomes a baserunner. This circumstance is only allowed when there are no base runners on first or there are two outs. The batter must be tagged out or forced out. The catcher is credited with an error and almost always involved with the defensive play. Usually the catcher will tag out the runner or throw to the first baseman for a forceout. The likelihood of reaching first base after an uncaught third strike is very low.
The pitching matchup is over, and the pitcher receives a strikeout (K) statistic. If the baserunner reaches first, no out is recorded. Therefore, it is possible for a pitcher to actually throw more than three strikeouts in a single inning. This has occurred eleven times in Major League history, most recently by Seattle's Kazuhiro Sazaki on April 4th of 2004.- Alexander Bond
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09/17/2007 04:19:29 PM · #22 |
Originally posted by ajdelaware:
Dropped 3rd pitch isn't an error, its usually called a wild pitch. An intentional walk and a base on balls are pretty different, because it takes skill and a good eye to get a base on balls, and often times a base on balls could have been a hit, but the intentional walk can never be a hit. |
Batter and pitcher get a K on a dropped third strike, and the catcher gets an error. In my book, the batter reaches on an error.
With an intentional walk, the pitcher still has to throw four balls, and the hitter can still legally hit them (happened a few times, I think Bonds did it once) as long as they don't leave the batters box. And a pitcher can give a batter four garbage pitches to unintentionally, intentionally walk them, or they can intentionally walk them after they have reached any count (why bother throwing an 3-0 pitch to a great hitter with first open...). So again, in my book they are the same thing.
edit - typos
Message edited by author 2007-09-17 16:21:31. |
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09/17/2007 04:23:43 PM · #23 |
Originally posted by ajdelaware:
Googled results:
14. fielder's choice
15. force out at another base
16. preceding runner put-out allows batter to reach first
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Aren't these all a Fielders Choice (runner safe but another out was recorded)? |
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09/17/2007 04:28:25 PM · #24 |
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09/17/2007 04:31:17 PM · #25 |
Yeah, but I think its only scored an error for the catcher if the runner reaches the base.
Look at any catchers stats, Ruiz from the phils for example, I have seen him make that 3rd dropped strike tag countless times, yet he has 1 error on the year.
*A fielder is charged with an error whose wild throw permits a runner to reach a base safely, or advance to the next base, when in the scorer's judgment a good throw would have put out the runner or prevented him from advancing to the next base, or whose failure to stop, or try to stop, a batted or accurately thrown ball permits a runner to advance.
Message edited by author 2007-09-17 16:33:23. |
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