The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was due to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife good-bye and said, âWell, Iâm off now, the man should be here soon.â
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Maâamâ, he said, âIâve come toâ¦â
Oh, no need to explain,â Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, âIâve been expecting you.â
âHave you really?â said the photographer. âWell, thatâs good. Did you know babies are my specialty?â
âWell thatâs what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seatâ
After a moment she asked, blushing, âWell, where do we start?â
âLeave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.â
âBathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didnât work out for Harry and I!â
âWell, Maâam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, Iâm sure youâll be pleased with the results.â
âMy, thatâs a lot!â gasped Mrs. Smith.
âMaâam, in my line of work a man has to take his time. Iâd love to be in and out in five minutes, but Iâm sure youâd be disappointed with that.â
âDonât I know it,â said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. âThis was done on the top of a bus,â he said.
âOh my God!â Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
âAnd these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.â
âShe was difficult?â asked Mrs. Smith.
âYes, Iâm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good lookâ
âFour and five deep?â said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
âYesâ, the photographer replied. âAnd for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.â
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. âDo you mean they actually chewed on your, uhâ¦equipment?â
âItâs true, Maâam, yes.. Well, if youâre ready, Iâll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.â
âTripod?â
âOh yes, Maâam. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. Itâs much too big to be held in the hand very long.â
Mrs. Smith fainted.
Now, this wouldn't work with Nikon, would it?
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....lol.....lol....lol.....
