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03/09/2007 03:44:38 PM · #1 |
Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, Minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a Particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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03/09/2007 03:58:22 PM · #2 |
>>snicker<< >>hehe<< >>SNORT<<
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03/09/2007 04:01:30 PM · #3 |
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03/09/2007 04:02:11 PM · #4 |
| As a becoming engineer I must agree with all but the first one. The 1st one is a big lie :)))))))))) (but there are some who would take the bike though...) |
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03/09/2007 04:03:58 PM · #5 |
Originally posted by Giorgio:
As a becoming engineer I must agree with all but the first one. The 1st one is a big lie :)))))))))) (but there are some who would take the bike though...) |
Yeah, engineers don't care much how their clothes fit ... |
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03/09/2007 04:05:28 PM · #6 |
| I've heard all of 'em before except the third one. An instant classic! |
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03/09/2007 04:05:58 PM · #7 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by Giorgio:
As a becoming engineer I must agree with all but the first one. The 1st one is a big lie :)))))))))) (but there are some who would take the bike though...) |
Yeah, engineers don't care much how their clothes fit ... |
If there's a girl involved they do. :D |
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03/09/2007 04:09:57 PM · #8 |
omg, this is a joke?
I'm married to an engineer -- not only is truth stranger than fiction, it is more funny as well. . ..
:) Just kidding, they aren't all true for my engineer. :) |
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03/09/2007 04:13:03 PM · #9 |
Lol I love #6
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
:P |
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03/09/2007 04:41:31 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by karmat:
omg, this is a joke?
I'm married to an engineer -- not only is truth stranger than fiction, it is more funny as well. . ..
:) Just kidding, they aren't all true for my engineer. :) |
I'm listening.
:) |
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03/09/2007 04:46:16 PM · #11 |
And, umm, I don't see these as humorous, but merely statements of fact.....
:-) |
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03/09/2007 04:59:07 PM · #12 |
| Says the engineer, "All those years of schooling and they still won't let me drive a train." |
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03/09/2007 05:00:39 PM · #13 |
when i was in college, the joke went thusly:
the engineer and the mathematician were standing at one end of a room. a woman walks in, takes off all her cloths, and says "the first one of you to reach me, can have me. but each time you move towards me, you must go exactly half of the remaining distance between us."
the mathematician thinks for a second and exclaims in frustration "that's impossible. if you divide the distance in half every time, you'll never reach a distance of zero. this is futile!"
the engineer smirks and begins walking across the room saying "yeah... sure... but i bet i get close enough..."
there was also this little joke :
the limit of School of Engineering as GPA approaches 0 is School of Business and Accounting
(though it looks funnier when written out in math notation w/ abbreviations...)
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03/09/2007 05:27:43 PM · #14 |
The Engineer walked briskly along the sidewalk when he spotted a most unusual toad. As he knelt down to examine the toad further, it spoke to him, "Kiss me and I will turn into a beautiful princess!"
The engineer put the toad in his pocket and continued his brisk walk. Again he heard the toad proclaim, "Kiss me, and I will turn into a beautiful princess that will adore you forever!"
The engineeer continued his walking.
Finally, in frustration, the toad says, "What's wrong with you, don't you want a beautiful princess that adores you?"
He replied, "I am engineer and I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking toad! Now that is cool!" |
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03/09/2007 05:48:33 PM · #15 |
Originally posted by Giorgio:
As a becoming engineer I must agree with all but the first one. The 1st one is a big lie :)))))))))) (but there are some who would take the bike though...) |
Engineer should be replaced with math major in that one.
As in, What did the math major say to the pretty woman?
NOTHING! |
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03/09/2007 06:31:28 PM · #16 |
HA!
I showed this to someone and he showed me the site where he had seen it earlier today.
Leroy - you're a naughty naughty boy! |
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03/09/2007 06:38:44 PM · #17 |
Originally posted by scarbrd:
Leroy - you're a naughty naughty boy! |
I have no idea what you are talking about, hun-ey :-)
Message edited by author 2007-03-09 18:39:02.
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03/09/2007 08:12:26 PM · #18 |
Kids take things apart
Message edited by author 2007-03-09 20:12:56.
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