| Author | Thread |
|
|
09/19/2006 09:36:26 AM · #1 |
Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
|
|
|
|
09/19/2006 10:54:58 AM · #2 |
ledz gib kredid wer kredid iz du:
A plan for the improvement of spelling in the English language
By Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Generally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeiniing voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x"— bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez —tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivili.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev alojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
|
|
|
|
09/19/2006 10:58:54 AM · #3 |
Originally posted by theSaj:
... If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
Unbelievable! I actually understood what you wrote!!! Not that I could write that way - ever. :) |
|
|
|
09/19/2006 11:01:59 AM · #4 |
Originally posted by theSaj:
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
Great work. Thanks for the laugh. |
|
|
|
09/19/2006 11:03:34 AM · #5 |
|
|
|
09/19/2006 12:22:54 PM · #6 |
| So does this essentially mean "German...the way English should be!" |
|
|
|
09/19/2006 12:25:58 PM · #7 |
|
|
|
09/19/2006 12:26:12 PM · #8 |
| i guess people will be speaking like one of those indiana jones movies in 5 years:) |
|
|
|
09/19/2006 04:25:04 PM · #9 |
Ya...
I lik Indi an ya Jons! |
|
|
|
09/19/2006 04:32:21 PM · #10 |
|
Home -
Challenges -
Community -
League -
Photos -
Cameras -
Lenses -
Learn -
Help -
Terms of Use -
Privacy -
Top ^
DPChallenge, and website content and design, Copyright © 2001-2025 Challenging Technologies, LLC.
All digital photo copyrights belong to the photographers and may not be used without permission.
Current Server Time: 09/22/2025 03:04:23 AM EDT.
