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DPChallenge Forums >> Rant >> its to small!!!
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 08/09/2006 06:43:35 AM · #1
ok so my friends in la bought me some new gear, well batterys cf card and flash, and they were guna buy me a backpack as well becouse i like to hike put the side bag i have now hurts my shoulders.

then i had to back out of that becouse i had a brakedown last week and have been spending half of my money on meds and doctors and trips to the looney bins ER..

they still bought the other stuff though, and now i start thinking(i couldnt think at all last week).
my shoulder bag is just much to small!

and they are leaving LA today to go to San fransisco where they will board a plain to come here.... i have just barly monay for them when they come here and no more. my tries to sell beaded stuff have failed misserably....

i getting very pessamistic and my anxiety is worsening... im not alowed to work anymore so im not getting any money from that end,

im getting manic and im alone and im just so tired of all this..
ive just started medications for this but it takes 2 more weeks till im used to them.

I have shitload to do here at home even though i aint got a job no more, and preferably have to do them today.

I dont want to bother my hubby with all this, since he has trouble understanding mental problems and i feel i have alredy putt him through so much.

but im stuborn i always think i can do everything on my own.and often i can, and often i am just ignoring myself sothat i am able to do...

sometimes i realy wish to have momy here.

im overwelmed and anxius and ranting on into eternaty, i could rant on more but i think this is enough.

im just guna sitt here and bead some more to calm my mind, and comfort myself with the thought that even if no one buys at least ill have plenty of christmass pressys

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