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06/25/2006 05:57:38 AM · #1 |
So I'm sure you all have experienced the old dilemma-do the laundry, and then end up with the lone sock, or missing stuff, etc. You've probably heard the various theories, the machine eats them, spontaneous disintegration, the sock trolls, aliens nab them for study, whatever!
Well, I had an amazing laundry experience tonight. So I'm doin' a load of clothes, and when the washer finishes, I go to pull out the stuff and put in the dryer. Same basic procedure as always. Pull a big handful out, bend down, throw it in the dryer...so I'm pulling out a handfull, and, you ever have where it like hangs up a little? So you have to tug just a bit harder, then it comes out? Well, I'm doing this and it gives, and as I'm starting to go for the dryer, I barely see out of the corner of my eye, this little blur near the top of the washer. It looked like a sock flipping over the top, going behind the machine. So...I look back there and lo and behold! I find 4 different socks and a pair of panties!!! Amazing or what??? :-P
So yes, I'm a goof and it doesn't take a lot to stimulate me, but I do feel quite triumphant now :-)
oh, and by the way...(before you say anything Ken!) the panties are not mine...I'm pretty sure they belong to my wife, Sheila.
Oh well, sorry to interrupt, but I just had to share this incredible discovery :-P
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06/25/2006 07:45:29 AM · #2 |
Originally posted by taterbug:
oh, and by the way...(before you say anything Ken!) the panties are not mine...I'm pretty sure they belong to my wife, Sheila.
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Well that's what you tell her, anyway.
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06/25/2006 07:49:40 AM · #3 |
SOCK CRUELTY!
You HAD to grab it just before it made it's way to freedom...
You do realize that under the Geneva Convention, you are now responsible for no less than 30 hours of counseling for the sock on performance anxiety and repressed dreams syndrome right?
Evil, evil man! Your wife may leave you if she ever finds out... Just don't tell her where you found her panties! It only leads to more questions... then BAM!
and no, eschelar is NOT my real name.... |
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06/25/2006 08:47:15 AM · #4 |
This might be an alternate theory to mine - that they time travel.
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06/25/2006 08:59:41 AM · #5 |
I like that theory Prof Fate... It would certainly explain why sock fashion never really changes... You have white ones, and colored socks, but the styles are always the same... Even some of the materials are the same as they have been for hundreds, if not thousands of years!
I will combine the two theories by suggesting that a washing machine only LOOKS like a washing machine... have you ever noticed how much bigger it is than the container inside to hold your clothes?
And then there's that HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS trick that it has of turning itself off when you open the lid to see how it works... That's the mechanical equivalent of a 'guilty look'...
I call CONSPIRACY!
I suggest that the 'person' that invented the washing machine was not actually a person! He was a dummy made up by ANIMATED SOCKS! Remember, you don't actually need to talk to register a patent... just sign some papers, put them in an envelope and call Fedex to pick them up with some cash for postage on your front porch...
I will further offer that the companies that make washing machines do not actually understand how exactly they work or why they are so big... I would wager fine dollars that some or even many of the 'parts' come 'ready assembled' from some dodgy factory in ShenZhen GuangZhou Province of China that isn't even there... With some fishy address like -135 Bu Jian Road or 642.3 Zhao Bu Dao Boulevard...
IT'S THE SOCKS I TELL YOU!!! Cavorting around through time space as if they owned the place! And leaving YOU to foot the Electrical Bill! |
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06/25/2006 09:08:55 AM · #6 |
That's why I put the socks in a pillow case and wash them there, also dry them there... There is no "lost of a sock" for me :)
I learned this from an old man who appeared to my dreams... (I had to put something out of this world here... to keep the post exciting) |
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06/25/2006 09:11:44 AM · #7 |
Time travel is possible - ever drop something, have roll under the sofa/table/car and when you look it's not there? then a week or 2 later there it is, under the sofa/table/car where you dropped it. See, it traveld forward in time!
My other theory I can prove more easily. The Earth is flat! Yes, it's round - you've seen the pictures too, but it's not spherical - it's shaped like a pizza. It is in the pictures - flat and round, but not spherical.
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06/25/2006 09:12:59 AM · #8 |
Originally posted by focuspoint:
That's why I put the socks in a pillow case and wash them there, also dry them there... There is no "lost of a sock" for me :)
I learned this from an old man who appeared to my dreams... (I had to put something out of this world here... to keep the post exciting) |
I seek counseling when anything otehr than young nubile women appear in my dreams. And if their only wearing socks, well, that's just a, well, personal thing, ok?
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06/25/2006 09:15:33 AM · #9 |
(cancelled my post)
Message edited by author 2006-06-25 10:13:40. |
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06/25/2006 09:22:25 AM · #10 |
Oooh....did you find my socks. The pink fluffy ones??
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06/25/2006 09:47:27 AM · #11 |
Actually, while I do believe some of the suggestions made so far have merit...I contend that my theory can be proven...
You see, it's all a big conspiracy orchestrated by the sock makers and the people who make laundry detergent.
The sock makers... in order to ensure that they have a constant and ever increasing demand on their products, secretly spray a chemical at random on socks as they proceed through the assembly line.
The soap manufacturers on their part, add a chemical to their product which will merge with that contained on the treated socks.
Now, to avoid any form of suspicion, these smart cookies have cleverly devised their diabolic scheme in such a manner that nothing happens to the socks until such time that heat is applied to the socks...
Then, when you place the poor unsuspecting sock into a dryer.....BLAMMM it explodes.
How do I prove this theory you ask......simple.
First... all that lint you find in your dryer...that is the remnant of those poor exploded socks.
Second... I defy anyone to show me a sock that disappeared while hanging on a clothes line...(no extreme heat...no explosion)
It's all there for you to see.....
I have to go now...need to put on my aluminium foil hat... they try to intercept my thoughts you see.........later.
Ray |
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06/25/2006 10:03:36 AM · #12 |
Originally posted by RayEthier:
I have to go now...need to put on my aluminium foil hat... they try to intercept my thoughts you see. |
Your foil hat will be much more efficient in an inside closet on the first floor of your house. All that wiring in the house interacting with the hat will create a magnetic barrier that is even harder for them to 'see' through than the hat alone... |
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06/25/2006 10:46:13 AM · #13 |
Originally posted by TooCool:
Originally posted by RayEthier:
I have to go now...need to put on my aluminium foil hat... they try to intercept my thoughts you see. |
Your foil hat will be much more efficient in an inside closet on the first floor of your house. All that wiring in the house interacting with the hat will create a magnetic barrier that is even harder for them to 'see' through than the hat alone... |
If you built your house correctly, their mind control rays should have little effect on you. Basically, you have to install a mesh of copper wire between the wall studs and the drywall. This will cause too much interference with the EMF frequencies used for mind control.
Also, the dryer does not eat or otherwise destroy socks, it creates new ones. Lint is made up of small pieces of fiber shed by clothes in the laundry process. The lint filter in your dryer only catches about 30% of the lint in the airstream. Some smaller percentage (approximately 15%) is carried out of the dryer and deposited either in the vent or somewhere outside. The remainder is trapped inside the dryer. Lint is extremely flammable, so to simply ignore it is dangerous. What appliance manufacturers have done is to implement a system, using magic sock fairies, that takes those bits of fiber, spins them back into yarn and that yarn is used to create new socks. Since the bits of fiber are from your own clothes, the socks look familiar, but sometimes don't have a mate. The socks are also enchanted, so that when there is not enough yarn to create a pair of socks, the person who finds the lone sock, rather than believe they found a strange sock, will immediately recognize it as on of their own and wonder where the mate is. In fact, the mate to that sock has not been knit yet and will be deposited in a future load.
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06/25/2006 12:40:53 PM · #14 |
Spazmo... you may be on to something... It's interesting that I live alone, but I still seem to regularly find socks that I never bought... I came to Taiwan with ONLY pairs of socks... I have purchased some generic black socks here (2 sets of 10 pairs.. 3 pairs of which I still have on my sock shelf), but I can tell which ones they are because they are all ankle socks... (?)
Of my colored socks, I notice that 60% are now 'odd socks'... some of these actually ARE similar but different...
In fact, I have a sock that I have NEVER purchased, but have THROWN OUT several times in the past 10 years... Considering that socks of that type are not even sold in Taiwan, it's a rather long ways for a sock to have swam! I know that this is bizarre because it is blue and I have never bought a dark blue sock in my life.... I only buy black or dark grey dress socks...
Very interesting Spazmo...
I do notice that the effect does seem to be particularly limited to colored socks... I buy large quantities of white socks and my 'shrinkage' is minimal. |
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06/25/2006 12:52:13 PM · #15 |
Don't ever throw single socks away... your chance is great that you will find the other one the next day ;-)
I once saw a clip or something like that to keep socks together in the washing machine.. that might be an idea?
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06/25/2006 12:56:29 PM · #16 |
Originally posted by biteme:
Don't ever throw single socks away... your chance is great that you will find the other one the next day ;-)
I once saw a clip or something like that to keep socks together in the washing machine.. that might be an idea? |
Oh sure.....then they disappear in pairs :O)
Can't elaborate on this at this time.... have to review the comments made by Too Cool and Spazmo... they seem to be onto something regarding the "Mind Control Rays".... tata for now.
Ray |
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06/25/2006 01:02:53 PM · #17 |
Originally posted by RayEthier:
Can't elaborate on this at this time.... have to review the comments made by Too Cool and Spazmo... they seem to be onto something regarding the "Mind Control Rays".... tata for now. |
Excuse me? That's rude, mister!
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06/25/2006 01:07:55 PM · #18 |
Originally posted by biteme:
Originally posted by RayEthier:
Can't elaborate on this at this time.... have to review the comments made by Too Cool and Spazmo... they seem to be onto something regarding the "Mind Control Rays".... tata for now. |
Excuse me? That's rude, mister! |
Ray scratches his head in bewilderment... ...what did I say that was rude??? |
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06/25/2006 01:08:04 PM · #19 |
Originally posted by taterbug:
oh, and by the way...(before you say anything Ken!) the panties are not mine...I'm pretty sure they belong to my wife, Sheila.
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Reminds me of the old joke:
Doctor: "So how long have you been wearing womens underwear?"
Man: "Ever since my wife found them in the glove compartment of my car" |
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06/25/2006 01:10:23 PM · #20 |
Originally posted by RayEthier:
Originally posted by biteme:
Originally posted by RayEthier:
Can't elaborate on this at this time.... have to review the comments made by Too Cool and Spazmo... they seem to be onto something regarding the "Mind Control Rays".... tata for now. |
Excuse me? That's rude, mister! |
Ray scratches his head in bewilderment......what did I say that was rude??? |
sorry, my fault, I misread....
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06/25/2006 01:19:58 PM · #21 |
While I have yet to confirm this theory. I believe gnomes steal socks and panties to build thier tent cities.
The gnomes, suspecting that you were suspicious of thier activity (seeing a glimps of one taking off with your sock). Quickly placed a few items behind the washer to distract you with the joy of finding these items.
If you do an inventory of missing socks and panties, you will find that the items you found does not equal the items you have lost.
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06/25/2006 02:32:33 PM · #22 |
Originally posted by TooCool:
Originally posted by RayEthier:
I have to go now...need to put on my aluminium foil hat... they try to intercept my thoughts you see. |
Your foil hat will be much more efficient in an inside closet on the first floor of your house. All that wiring in the house interacting with the hat will create a magnetic barrier that is even harder for them to 'see' through than the hat alone... |
According to recent research at MIT, wearing the foil hat may actually improve the effectiveness of the rays ... |
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06/25/2006 02:51:33 PM · #23 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
According to recent research at MIT, wearing the foil hat may actually improve the effectiveness of the rays ... |
Hope Ray don't find THAT out... |
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06/25/2006 02:53:53 PM · #24 |
Originally posted by TooCool:
Originally posted by GeneralE:
According to recent research at MIT, wearing the foil hat may actually improve the effectiveness of the rays ... |
Hope Ray don't find THAT out... |
Of course, this begs the question of just what equipment they were using to perform those tests, and who has them now ... |
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06/25/2006 02:56:46 PM · #25 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Of course, this begs the question of just what equipment they were using to perform those tests, and who has them now ... |
I wonder how comprehensive their tests were... After all, everyone knows that a foil skull cap is much less effective than one shaped like a Hershey's Kiss... |
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...what did I say that was rude???
