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05/28/2006 10:58:28 PM · #76 |
Originally posted by missinseattle:
]My neighbor brought it to my attention that he was not very nice and in fact spent 6 years in jail for his atrocities. Not wanting to depend only on my neighbors word on this man I looked it up myself and sure enough there it was. I pointed him out to my daughter not long after that, and have since pointed him out so she is aware that he is out there and that he is not safe. She knows not to talk to him or look his direction.
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...emphasis added
You know I was going to keep quiet about this, because my mom taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say...
This attitude is unconscionable. Haven't you people ever heard of rehabilitation? Atrocities? Do you actually know what he did? Not the charge listed in the state database, but the circumstances of the case? I can pull out a thousand examples of people who have been added to these registries for stupid reasons.
I hope that those who judge you in the future will be a little more objective in their considerations.
I prefer to inform my child about the dangers of particular behaviors, explain why one decision is better than another, explain the consiquences of certain decisions, and let them decide for themselves. There's something about empowering the individual that just seems so right to me.
Aww, mom was right. I don't have anything nice to say.
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05/28/2006 11:11:28 PM · #77 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
I have a solution for all of you paranoid parents. |
It is very possible to protect your child within reason, without being paraniod. |
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05/28/2006 11:13:36 PM · #78 |
Originally posted by klstover:
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
I have a solution for all of you paranoid parents. |
It is very possible to protect your child within reason, without being paraniod. |
I wonder if the parents of abducted or sexually abused children would equate vigilance with paranoia? |
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05/28/2006 11:14:07 PM · #79 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Being what this thread is about, I strongly disagree with you. If you hurt a child on purpose, you deserve the chair. Wait, let me take that back. If you hurt a child on purpose, you deserve to have the worst metal and physical abuse you can possibly have without dying everyday for the rest of your life. No exceptions.
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But not nuns, right? Nuns can take care of themselves. Oh, and what about kittens? The poor, defenseless kittens! But school teachers, they are OK. How about blind people? They're old enough to know better, but they can't tell which alley is the dark one, and which one is the well lit one. We should put people who mug blind people in that torture chamber too.
[/sarcasm]
Please, people get a grip.
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05/28/2006 11:15:38 PM · #80 |
Originally posted by livitup:
I prefer to inform my child about the dangers of particular behaviors, explain why one decision is better than another, explain the consiquences of certain decisions, and let them decide for themselves. There's something about empowering the individual that just seems so right to me. |
Sometimes, empowering the individual isn't the best idea. I wouldn't want to say to my child, "okay, running out into traffic isn't the best decision, and here's why it's better than the others..." And then let them decide that they still want to, and watch them do it and say "well okay, that's their decision, I'm not going to scream at them STOP!" |
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05/28/2006 11:15:56 PM · #81 |
Originally posted by missinseattle:
It's sad that modesty is such a thing of the past now. It's sad that at 11 and 12 girls are WANTING to wear things like bikinis and exploring their sexuality- hence the reason for so many teenage pregnancies. |
I haven't gotten through the thread yet, but from statistics I've seen the pregnancy rate in teenagers has actually been on a steady decline for the last 20 or more years (missing a few current years). |
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05/28/2006 11:17:24 PM · #82 |
| I was enjoying reading this thread because it stated a lot of different things without attacks.... |
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05/28/2006 11:18:59 PM · #83 |
Originally posted by klstover:
I was enjoying reading this thread because it stated a lot of different things without attacks.... |
Yeah, I knew it was bound for "Rant", but I hoped it would last in "General Discussion" for a little while. |
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05/28/2006 11:30:36 PM · #84 |
It's amazing how people read into things what they want to read.
Suddenly a concern for young girls being pressured into growing up too quicky, turns into 'you are an over protective paranoid old fashioned mother, shut the hell up.' Yea, thats a well reasoned argument.
Asking a 15 year old girl her opinion - turns into 'you are ignoring the teenager and she has more sense than the adult'
Questioning whether a bikini shot away from a beach is perhaps appropriate turns into ' yea, why don't you lock every girl in their room and dress them in muslim clothes, or better yet move to Iraq' Again another well thought out position.
Trying to instill self respect in a child becomes ' you're a bad bad mother who is destroying your child's future'. Again a well thought out arguement based on empirical knowledge.
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05/28/2006 11:35:13 PM · #85 |
i see everyone's concern, but i also think that some go overboard in protecting their children. i know many kids who aren't careful because their parents were very overprotective, and that puts them off. They are now rebels. kids have to learn many things themselves. I see things like this everyday, because i am *only* 15, and in high school there are many teens (duh). i can understand both sides, and my parents have approached this issue well, i think. I know that one of the MOST ANNOYING THINGS to me is when an adult treats you like you are inferior... like when a stranger puts a hand on your shoulder and guides you out of their way... at these times i really don't care about respecting my elders. i shake them off, and give them the frostiest glare that i can muster...
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05/28/2006 11:40:55 PM · #86 |
| Yeah, in my work with kids, I have found that you can tell them SO many more things if you just have respect for who they are as a person. Even five year olds can pick up on the fact that someone thinks they're "just a child". But if you really do respect and value them as a person, it's a lot easier not to go overboard, because the child will be much more responsive to what you have to say. |
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05/28/2006 11:51:39 PM · #87 |
Originally posted by klstover:
Yeah, in my work with kids, I have found that you can tell them SO many more things if you just have respect for who they are as a person. Even five year olds can pick up on the fact that someone thinks they're "just a child". But if you really do respect and value them as a person, it's a lot easier not to go overboard, because the child will be much more responsive to what you have to say. |
exactly...
i teach swim lessons at the pool my high school has, and finally figured out that to get kids to do what you want treat them at least a few years older. many adults see us as young and inexperienced, and treat us that way. it's demeaning, because it makes you feel insignifigant in comparison.
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05/28/2006 11:51:43 PM · #88 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Horny teenage boys are another story. But probably if a young girl is dressing sexy, she wants that attention anyway. |
Nope, she wantd to be loved. Something she's probably never been truly shown before, and because of the bait she's putting out, she'll have a difficult time finding someone to give her what her heart really desires.
Originally posted by NightShy:
That's why, just as many people have already said in this thread, strong relationships and great communication are key for parents with children. I wish I had been so blessed with parents of this sort. |
Oh yes, if parents knew how to love their children, and also be their parents, and not try to act like their "friends", this world would change in a few short years.
There's a girl in my youth group, whose parents didn't really keep trak of what she was doing or wearing. They didn't really keep track of her as their daughter either. Too busy worrying about themselves, though they didn't see it that way.
To get the attention she desired at home, she started acting out. That didn't work, typical selfish parent reaction? You bet. Grounding, sent to room, whatever they can to avoid talking about the real problems. She started going to parties, and they let her. She went to one too many, and dressed in one too sexy outfit. Drunk boys at 15 years old, and a pretty young girl in a skimpy outfit....
Wearing revealing clothing is about one thing, and one thing only. Attracting the attention of a man or boy. Period. And you'll get it, only, it's not the attention you really ever wanted. It's something less. Because when he's looking at your body, he's not thinking a thing about you.
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05/28/2006 11:52:47 PM · #89 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Originally posted by Elmakias:
and to amandalore's comment that people deserve abuse in prison. I strongly disagree, i think no one deserves any kind of abuse, even if you have done somehting horrilbe. |
Being what this thread is about, I strongly disagree with you. If you hurt a child on purpose, you deserve the chair. Wait, let me take that back. If you hurt a child on purpose, you deserve to have the worst mental and physical abuse you can possibly have without dying everyday for the rest of your life. No exceptions.
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Originally posted by Spazmo99:
Way to show your compassion! |
Originally posted by livitup:
But not nuns, right? Nuns can take care of themselves. Oh, and what about kittens? The poor, defenseless kittens! But school teachers, they are OK. How about blind people? They're old enough to know better, but they can't tell which alley is the dark one, and which one is the well lit one. We should put people who mug blind people in that torture chamber too.
[/sarcasm]
Please, people get a grip. |
Yeah, you guys are totally right. Let's all just have compassion and continue let grown ups rape, torture, and murder the little kidlets at will. After all, it's the babies and children that are CHOOSING to be abused.
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05/28/2006 11:57:35 PM · #90 |
Originally posted by klstover:
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
I have a solution for all of you paranoid parents. |
It is very possible to protect your child within reason, without being paraniod. |
It certainly is, but from some of the responses here, there are some parents posting who are just a small step away from putting their daughters in the burqua. |
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05/28/2006 11:58:03 PM · #91 |
Originally posted by klstover:
Yeah, in my work with kids, I have found that you can tell them SO many more things if you just have respect for who they are as a person. Even five year olds can pick up on the fact that someone thinks they're "just a child". But if you really do respect and value them as a person, it's a lot easier not to go overboard, because the child will be much more responsive to what you have to say. |
In my work with kids, when you try to talk to them and teach them as you would a grown man or woman, their eyes glaze over and they say their bored, they start fidgeting, and they ignore you. They start talking amongst themselves.
However, if you talk to them at their level, and punch things up and keep things exciting, then they start perking up.
Most kids aren't looking to get respect from me, it's me who has to earn their respect in most cases.
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05/29/2006 12:07:44 AM · #92 |
I just really meant that there is no rehabilitation for a child molester. those people are broken, and broken for good. There is something messed up in their heads so bad that they cannot be fixed, and I'm not sure if I'm sorry or not, but I absolutely do not have any compassion for them.
And like I also said, there are a lot of people who get that label for a dumb reason, like the guy at the bar or an 18y/o with a 17y/o. The pedofiles you should be scared of are lurking in your homes and schools and churches and you would NEVER suspect them
Also, conservative clothing does not deter a pedofile. It's not like they go to the kiddy pool and decide to victimize the girl wearing the bikini over the girl wearing all her clothes.
The reason I don't think young girls should try to be sexy is because it looks stupid. I used to be guilty of it, and it's one of those things you don't realize until you're older, but try explaining to a 12 y/o that only adults look good in make-up, lol, you just gotta try your best to make them feel like they don't need it and that they are beautiful the way they are |
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05/29/2006 12:09:13 AM · #93 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Originally posted by NightShy:
Originally posted by Elmakias:
and to amandalore's comment that people deserve abuse in prison. I strongly disagree, i think no one deserves any kind of abuse, even if you have done somehting horrilbe. |
Being what this thread is about, I strongly disagree with you. If you hurt a child on purpose, you deserve the chair. Wait, let me take that back. If you hurt a child on purpose, you deserve to have the worst mental and physical abuse you can possibly have without dying everyday for the rest of your life. No exceptions.
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Originally posted by Spazmo99:
Way to show your compassion! |
Originally posted by livitup:
But not nuns, right? Nuns can take care of themselves. Oh, and what about kittens? The poor, defenseless kittens! But school teachers, they are OK. How about blind people? They're old enough to know better, but they can't tell which alley is the dark one, and which one is the well lit one. We should put people who mug blind people in that torture chamber too.
[/sarcasm]
Please, people get a grip. |
Yeah, you guys are totally right. Let's all just have compassion and continue let grown ups rape, torture, and murder the little kidlets at will. After all, it's the babies and children that are CHOOSING to be abused. |
I never said such heinous acts should be tolerated nor do I believe that such people should ever see the light of day as free persons. My objection is to your total disregard for another person. No matter how atrocious their actions, they are still human and deserve to be treated as such. Advocating torture makes you no better than they are.
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05/29/2006 12:13:09 AM · #94 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
Originally posted by klstover:
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
I have a solution for all of you paranoid parents. |
It is very possible to protect your child within reason, without being paraniod. |
It certainly is, but from some of the responses here, there are some parents posting who are just a small step away from putting their daughters in the burqua. |
Show me, can you give some examples?
Message edited by author 2006-05-29 00:23:03. |
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05/29/2006 12:14:00 AM · #95 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Yeah, you guys are totally right. Let's all just have compassion and continue let grown ups rape, torture, and murder the little kidlets at will. After all, it's the babies and children that are CHOOSING to be abused. |
Of course they are.
Seriously, lock them up and throw away the key. Manditory life sentances for all child molesters. Fine with me.
What I do take issue with is your specific comment that people who hurt kids "deserve to have the worst metal and physical abuse you can possibly have without dying everyday for the rest of [their] life."
That goes against this little thing called the eighth amendment to the US Constitution. Cruel and unusual punishment, you know.
Torturing people is something that civilized people just do not do.
Interesting sidebar: What is your opinion on the caning punishments metted out by Singapore, Malaysia and Brunei?
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05/29/2006 12:19:58 AM · #96 |
uhm, not that I believe in caning one way or the other, but I'm pretty sure that those countries have way less crime.... I don't believe in torture, but going to prison where now you are the vulnerable one, I don't think is cruel and unusual.
Also, when the constitution was formed, it was absolutely legal and accepted to hang someone for horse stealing, not to mention the whole town watched. That would be like death penalty for grand theft auto nowadays. |
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05/29/2006 12:21:16 AM · #97 |
Those who take the innocence and/or life of a child are not human anymore. They are monsters. They do not deserve the luxuries of prison. They do not deserve the luxury of an easy death penalty (not that people who hurt kids ever get it anyway...kill a full grown man and you're screwed!)
The caning punishment is much too good for these kind of "people".
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05/29/2006 12:29:08 AM · #98 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Those who take the innocence and/or life of a child are not human anymore. They are monsters. They do not deserve the luxuries of prison. They do not deserve the luxury of an easy death penalty (not that people who hurt kids ever get it anyway...kill a full grown man and you're screwed!)
The caning punishment is much too good for these kind of "people". |
This willingness to sink to the level of the criminal for vengeance is just sad... |
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05/29/2006 12:36:10 AM · #99 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
Originally posted by NightShy:
Those who take the innocence and/or life of a child are not human anymore. They are monsters. They do not deserve the luxuries of prison. They do not deserve the luxury of an easy death penalty (not that people who hurt kids ever get it anyway...kill a full grown man and you're screwed!)
The caning punishment is much too good for these kind of "people". |
This willingness to sink to the level of the criminal for vengeance is just sad... |
It's sad you think I'm going to pay for these people to have television and indoor plumbing.
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05/29/2006 12:37:09 AM · #100 |
Originally posted by wavelength:
Originally posted by klstover:
Yeah, in my work with kids, I have found that you can tell them SO many more things if you just have respect for who they are as a person. Even five year olds can pick up on the fact that someone thinks they're "just a child". But if you really do respect and value them as a person, it's a lot easier not to go overboard, because the child will be much more responsive to what you have to say. |
In my work with kids, when you try to talk to them and teach them as you would a grown man or woman, their eyes glaze over and they say their bored, they start fidgeting, and they ignore you. They start talking amongst themselves.
However, if you talk to them at their level, and punch things up and keep things exciting, then they start perking up.
Most kids aren't looking to get respect from me, it's me who has to earn their respect in most cases. |
what you are talking about is different... what i am saying, and what i think klstover is trying to say is not to treat young people like they are inferior. of course children will be bored if you talk to them about certain topics, due to a shorter attention span that most (but not all) children have. have you met any 5 year olds who were interested in politics? probably not. so don't talk to them about that, but also don't treat them like inferiors.
Originally posted by amandalore:
[child molestors] are broken, and broken for good. There is something messed up in their heads so bad that they cannot be fixed, and I'm not sure if I'm sorry or not, but I absolutely do not have any compassion for them. |
I agree that it is not okay to engage in any... acts... with someone against their will but (i know i'm going to be hammered for this) i feel sorry for pedophiles (but certainly not child molestors). Let me explain.
Our society is finally becoming more accepting of gays and lesbians, and we are realizing that this is not a choice that they make, but instead a preference that they are born with. in my view, consenting sexual acts between people of the same sex and similar age are moral. the problem is that society is never going to see sexual acts between an adult and a child, consenting or not, moral, because children are not usually mature enough to make wise decisions for themselves. i really think that pedophiles are born with this sexual orientation, and we need to accept them like we are beginning to accept gays and lesbians. this doesn't include allowing them to engage in sexual acts with children, but do we really have the right to discriminate against them?
Message edited by author 2006-05-29 00:37:26. |
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