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04/02/2006 11:33:37 AM · #76 |
| I have never been to a strip club but I wouldn't feel threatened if my partner/spouse went to one. If she wants to see a bunch of guys prancing around that is up to her. I would hope I know where she is going when she leaves - home. |
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04/02/2006 11:47:48 AM · #77 |
Great thread, but I have to go "Strip" some furniture... I do hope you won't think less of me, now that I turning into a stripper ......... hehehehehe.
Ray
Message edited by author 2006-04-02 11:48:04. |
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04/02/2006 12:38:00 PM · #78 |
Originally posted by greatandsmall:
I have a question for the Pro-strip club people:
Would you encourage your daughter to get into this industry? |
not in the least.. having said that, it would ultimately be her choice. I've met some amazing women who have chosen that life and who have done very well for themselves. They have financed their education, bought houses, and still were able to avoid most of the pitfalls that many in the industry fall into (drugs/prostitution)
I'd hope if its a choice my daughter made, that she would have the self esteem and maturity required to survive the decision.
*Flip Side* I used to work with kids involved in Prostitution and pornography (to clarify I was a social worker doing outreach) lol~
I know how many of them end up in the seedy strip clubs working for owners/pimps etc.. because i used to have to go into them looking for underage dancers... and fellas sorry to ruin it for you but the numbers are higher than you'd think of Underage dancers... what seems like barely legal... most likely isnt even close to being legal.
Back to *letting* my husband.. its not about let.. its about embracing the fantasy for a moment, being aroused visually and then keeping the intimacy between us behind closed doors later.
~That folks is just my opinion.. take what you like.. leave the rest and if you agree to disagree.. kool .. i'm down with that too ~
*twirls off*
edit to add
Message edited by author 2006-04-02 12:43:31. |
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04/02/2006 12:40:20 PM · #79 |
Originally posted by RayEthier:
Great thread, but I have to go "Strip" some furniture... I do hope you won't think less of me, now that I turning into a stripper ......... hehehehehe.
Ray |
Darn it Ray! I wasn't done picking your brain. I do understand your analogy and I'm not trying to pass judgement on anyone. I am curious as to what degree people have thought-out the whole sex industry thing.
I'd love to see if anyone is willing to share their views in response to my questions. Perhaps it will change my perception of the topic.
The fact that strip clubs are part of a multi-billion dollar industry proves that they provide a valuable service to society. The argument being made is that purchasing this service is acceptable and harmless. Stripping can be a very lucrative profession; and theoretically, a stripper should be able to retire before her "tools" have worn out.
My own problem with strip clubs has very little to do with the patrons and a great deal to do with the personal price paid by the dancers. Whether you like to think about it or not, you are paying them to emotionally "detach" for your sexual gratification. Very few people who are able to emerge from this sort of objectification unscathed. They tend to seek out a variety of coping mechanisms in order to continue the lifestyle they have chosen.
I don't look down upon those of you who enjoy, and even encourage your children to visit strip clubs. I am curious as to whether or not you would condone a stripper's lifestyle for your own child and why you feel the way you do?
Edit: Thanks Shecoya, for your answer. Your experiences seem quite interesting, and I respect the social work you have done.
Message edited by author 2006-04-02 13:19:48. |
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04/02/2006 12:53:19 PM · #80 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Lets just put the rubber to the road.
Of the people participating on this thread, how many fit the following:
1) Married once
2) For at least 10 years
3) Frequent stip clubs at least once a year
4) With your wife's permission
I'll pay attention to anybody who fits this bill... |
1) Yep, happily
2) Not yet, going on 7 years (so, ignore me if you want)
3) yep, live right next door to one (literally)
4) of course. She gives me the message when one of my buddies is over there having a beer.
Just because a person visits or works at a club, doesn't make them a sexual deviant. You are going to have whack jobs where ever you go, look at the local revelations in the Catholic church.
Unfortunately some club owners are shadey characters that encourage illegal activities, such as prostitution and drug use. However, not all clubs/owners are like that, and should not be stereotyped as such.
Like I said above, I do live right next door to a club, so I know the owner fairly well. What is interesting is the owner came from a fairly religious upbringing. He runs a very tight ship in regards to activities of the entertainers. If he finds out that an entertainer propositioned a client, or did something wrong in the club, they are immediately fired. There is a huge list of rules (several pages) that each entertainer has to read and certify they understand before they are allowed to work there.
I see all kinds of people going into the club. Guys and girls of vaious ages, couples of all ages, people from all walks of life and fiscal status. I see people pull up in BMWs as well as old beat up pickup trucks. It's been an interesting study of society living here, I must say.
As for my activity at my "neighbors" or other clubs, I don't go much at all. If a buddy stops by and says he is going over to have a drink, I may go over for awhile. Many times my wife is the one that let's me know one of my frieinds is over there. Has she got mad at me before? Yes, when I said I'd be back in an hour and ended up stay four hours or so, because I ran into a bunch of guys I used to work. It had nothing to do with being at a strip club.
The owner of the club told me something one day that was pretty interesting. He said he has had customer's wives call and say they prefer their husband go to his club than a "normal" bar, because the club entertainers won't be trying to pick him up. They are more secure with their husband at a strip club.
Geesh...that was a ramble. Sorry.
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04/02/2006 02:26:49 PM · #81 |
Well, it's all been very interesting. Nobody usually changes their mind in these threads, but at least we can all get a glimpse into the other side.
I still have deep worries over a hidden price paid, but the chips will fall where they may. I'm not the cornerstone of thruth on DPC. I doubt anybody really goes to this site for deep philosophical or moral discussion anyway.
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04/02/2006 02:56:58 PM · #82 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Well, it's all been very interesting. Nobody usually changes their mind in these threads, but at least we can all get a glimpse into the other side.
I still have deep worries over a hidden price paid, but the chips will fall where they may. I'm not the cornerstone of thruth on DPC. I doubt anybody really goes to this site for deep philosophical or moral discussion anyway. |
I don't expect to change anyone's mind. It is interesting to see other people's perspectives.
My mind has been changed with time and experience. I used to see nothing wrong with any of it. I even hired a stripper for my first husband's bachelor party. Little did I know that he would have preferred a male stripper:O
My opinion wasn't influenced by religion or infidelity; but rather, observation of, and personal experience with people affected by the industry. I imagine we all objectify ourselves, to some degree. It just happens that doing it for sex is one reason that saddens me the most.
Message edited by author 2006-04-02 18:01:00. |
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11/27/2007 03:11:35 PM · #83 |
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11/27/2007 03:16:40 PM · #84 |
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
bump |
18+ months, now that's a bump. ;-) |
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11/27/2007 03:19:50 PM · #85 |
Not only would I let my significant other go to the club of their choice, I would go with. We have been seen doing just that. We have even talked about an act... haven't done it yet tho. By the way, we love the nude beach, too! :o)
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11/27/2007 03:40:49 PM · #86 |
Just to add some meat to this bump (no puns intended):
My wife has never been to a strip club ... said she would have no problem with it, but at the same time doesn't think she would get anything out of it. I'm pretty sure she's just never been invited. And no, I wouldn't mind her going. If I ever went around here I would definitely bring her.
But this thread was probably more directed at wives "letting" their husbands go. For the record, my wife also doesn't care if I go, but would prefer if I didn't spend too much money there (or at any club for that matter). It's not about "letting me", because we have tremendous trust in our relationship, and frankly going to a strip club would be one of the least strange/tempting/potentially troublesome things I've done. It's an extremely rare thing for me, anyway -- but I have come home from business trips with powder/makeup on my slacks from a lap dance and she thought it was funny. In truth, strippers do very little for me and she knows that. |
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11/27/2007 03:47:43 PM · #87 |
| My wife would divorce me if I went. |
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11/27/2007 04:05:13 PM · #88 |
I think all this talk about "letting" your spouse do something is pretty sad.
Did you really marry such a pathetic individual that they need to ask permission to do things?
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11/27/2007 04:16:25 PM · #89 |
To reiterate what has already been said in this forum:
If you won't "let" your spouse go to a strip club, then you have no trust in your relationship. If the spouse had cheated once before this is understandable, but if not, let them go. If he/she loves you then it should be no problem. I have a very hight self esteem, and my other half is more than welcome to go if he wants. I do however, want to know if he was going, because if he didn't tell me and I found out later, I might suspect something.
I agree with spazmo, it is really sad.
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11/27/2007 04:25:16 PM · #90 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
I think all this talk about "letting" your spouse do something is pretty sad.
Did you really marry such a pathetic individual that they need to ask permission to do things? |
Yes, you should always ask your spouse permission to do things, especially if it affects both of you, that is what a marriage is about, you are in this together now, it isn't just about you anymore. Would you just go out and buy a brand new truck without talking to your spouse about it first, and if you did talk about it and they didn't think you should would you still do it? If so you have some real marital problems.
I am surprised to see the lack of morals in this group, I didn't see very many people that were opposed to this. There is no way I would let my wife go to a strip club, and there is no way I would go, or that she would let me go to one either. This can only be damaging to your relationship. You may say that there is no harm, and in some minority of the cases out there there might not be much visible harm, but it definitely isn't going to help your relationship. You can't cheat on your spouse if you never put yourself into bad situations. Do you really think it is okay for your spouse to be ogling other people? That, in my opinion is already a small form of cheating, it starts with looking. I wonder if those of you who approve would like your spouse looking at pornography too, this is just playing with fire. Your relationship will get worse not better. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that DPCers think this stuff is okay judging by the number of nude entries. I won't even vote anymore because there seems to be something in every challenge.
Sorry, I just have to stand up for morality here, and I don't care what you say to me, I know I will never cheat on my wife, because I won't take the first step by looking.
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11/27/2007 04:43:55 PM · #91 |
Originally posted by travis_cooper:
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
I think all this talk about "letting" your spouse do something is pretty sad.
Did you really marry such a pathetic individual that they need to ask permission to do things? |
Yes, you should always ask your spouse permission to do things, especially if it affects both of you, that is what a marriage is about, you are in this together now, it isn't just about you anymore. Would you just go out and buy a brand new truck without talking to your spouse about it first, and if you did talk about it and they didn't think you should would you still do it? If so you have some real marital problems.
I am surprised to see the lack of morals in this group, I didn't see very many people that were opposed to this. There is no way I would let my wife go to a strip club, and there is no way I would go, or that she would let me go to one either. This can only be damaging to your relationship. You may say that there is no harm, and in some minority of the cases out there there might not be much visible harm, but it definitely isn't going to help your relationship. You can't cheat on your spouse if you never put yourself into bad situations. Do you really think it is okay for your spouse to be ogling other people? That, in my opinion is already a small form of cheating, it starts with looking. I wonder if those of you who approve would like your spouse looking at pornography too, this is just playing with fire. Your relationship will get worse not better. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that DPCers think this stuff is okay judging by the number of nude entries. I won't even vote anymore because there seems to be something in every challenge.
Sorry, I just have to stand up for morality here, and I don't care what you say to me, I know I will never cheat on my wife, because I won't take the first step by looking. |
I have my own money, my wife has hers and together, we have ours. All three are separate accounts. I am free to spend mine how I see fit, and she is free to spend hers as she wishes. If I could afford the truck from my account, then, I would just buy it, even if she didn't think it was a good idea. There would be no problem. She doesn't feel the need to ask me every time she wants to buy a new dress and pair of shoes using her money either.
It's not about the morality of going to a strip club, it's about the need to control and be controlled by your spouse. The first step to cheating is not going to a strip club and ogling some naked body. The first step to cheating happens between you and your spouse.
I still say it's sad that you feel the need to seek permission to do things. Are you each others spouses or each others parents? |
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11/27/2007 04:51:21 PM · #92 |
What's sad is thinking always being together is going to prevent cheating. If it does, has it really... If you can't control yourself, it's sad. If you can't trust your spouse, it's sad. After 35 years of marriage I've come to the conclusion that sex is a very small, albeit important, part of a much larger condition. It's all about TRUST.
I don't need to ask my spouse for permission to do anything (ya right) but she (and I) expect to be informed of the other's activities. I wouldn't dream of going without telling her, but that's out of respect for her. As I would expect her to tell me.
In MHO, with a healthy relationship a trip to the strip bar or nude beach or skinny dipping at the neighbor's isn't going to matter.
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11/27/2007 04:52:46 PM · #93 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
...
I have my own money, my wife has hers and together, we have ours. All three are separate accounts.
... |
I'm sorry. Probably the biggest cause of divorce is financial problems and this is one of the root causes, spouses need to work together on their finances not working alone.
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11/27/2007 05:01:41 PM · #94 |
Originally posted by dsray:
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In MHO, with a healthy relationship a trip to the strip bar or nude beach or skinny dipping at the neighbor's isn't going to matter. |
Maybe in some cases it won't, but in a lot of cases it does matter. Part of the problem is people thinking that it doesn't matter. I'm sure a lot of people can control themselves, but for the rest the more you go, the more you will want to go, it will just start a cycle. Maybe it won't hurt your relationship, but it won't help it either.
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11/27/2007 05:09:16 PM · #95 |
Well 99.8% of the people going to the strip clubs have no chance of getting any at ALL. You don't have to worry about your spouse cheating because they just dance for you, not go home with you. I don't see why it would be a big deal. Just guys going out and having fun watching girls dance nude. If they go all the time then thats a problem but once in awhile shouldn't be an issue.
Message edited by author 2007-11-27 17:09:44. |
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11/27/2007 05:12:35 PM · #96 |
10 bucks too see a girl Topless? Maybe when I was 21 but not a chance now. I got camera gear to buy. Now if a stripper wants me to take her picture...
:-P |
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11/27/2007 05:15:46 PM · #97 |
Wow, this thread is a golden oldie! But it was a classic. Personally some of the things said on this thread still boggle my mind to the utmost extent. It's like hearing a different language which is totally incomprehensible.
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11/27/2007 05:16:03 PM · #98 |
Originally posted by thegrandwazoo:
10 bucks too see a girl Topless? Maybe when I was 21 but not a chance now. I got camera gear to buy. Now if a stripper wants me to take her picture...
:-P |
I get paid to take nekkie pics... so saving my money on the strip clubs.
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11/27/2007 05:19:35 PM · #99 |
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
I get paid to take nekkie pics... so saving my money on the strip clubs. |
That's what I am talking about! |
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11/27/2007 05:25:13 PM · #100 |
i wouldn't really care if my g/f wanted to go to one.
I know i have no interest in it and have always turned down the opportunity .... not to say i wouldn't enjoy it, but experiences like that leave me feeling gross afterwards.
i think women and men alike deserve more respect than they are given prancing around for dollars. but to put a restriction on the spouse, well you shouldn't ever have to do that .... i would just hope i'm with someone who might share the opinion with me about how much respect they deserve.
this is not bashing all forms of nudity etc, but when you prance around for money ... i don't see the legitimacy in that.
i know, i suck the fun out of it all eh |
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