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03/10/2006 09:12:09 AM · #26 |
Don't avoid just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit plcae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? |
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03/10/2006 09:13:57 AM · #27 |
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
it saves energy. |
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03/10/2006 09:14:15 AM · #28 |
Originally posted by Artan:
Don't avoid just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit plcae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? |
wow...i just flew thru that like it was all written correctly....scarrrry |
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03/10/2006 09:33:04 AM · #29 |
Originally posted by smilebig4me1x:
Originally posted by Artan:
Don't avoid just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit plcae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? |
wow...i just flew thru that like it was all written correctly....scarrrry |
It's the same amazing ability that allows illiterate people to be understood in forums all over the internet. |
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03/10/2006 09:48:54 AM · #30 |
Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White House. The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit."
"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?"
George W. replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?"
"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims. "How rude! You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton, and you've only been in your second term of office for a year! ''
As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers..."It's pronounced 'quiche'." |
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03/10/2006 10:57:10 AM · #31 |
Originally posted by persimon:
Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White House. The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit."
"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?"
George W. replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?"
"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims. "How rude! You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton, and you've only been in your second term of office for a year! ''
As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers..."It's pronounced 'quiche'." |
LMAO |
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03/10/2006 11:17:48 AM · #32 |
Here are some actual signs that I saw while living in Japan:
In the first hotel where we stayed, there was a sign over the bed that said, "Please feel free to take advantage of the chambermaid."
On a pedestrian bridge, there was a sign that said, "Cars are not to have intercourse on the bridge." Probably has to do with weight since, come on, that would be cool.
Many hotels have a huge communal bath that is like a hot tub where you can soak after you've cleaned yourself in the shower area. One foreign visitor apparently pulled the plug and drained the tub after his soak, which angered hotel management since they only refill those tubs every week or so. But the hotel's old dictionary listed the ancient word "cock" instead of "plug" so they hung up a sign saying, "Foreigners are requested not to pull cock in bathtub."
And along those lines, we passed through Hong Kong on New Year's during the year of the chicken and were greeted by a huge sign in the airport that said, "Welcome to the year of the cock." Well, it's about time.
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03/10/2006 11:23:56 AM · #33 |
Originally posted by PhilipDyer:
they only refill those tubs every week or so. |
That is disgusting!! |
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03/10/2006 11:42:20 AM · #34 |
Originally posted by posthumous:
Originally posted by PhilipDyer:
they only refill those tubs every week or so. |
That is disgusting!! |
Actually, it's the same as a swimming pool, which is refilled way less frequently. The water is clean and the people in them are supposed to be clean as well. You know, unless there are a lot of us foreigners doing wacky things in there... :-)
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03/10/2006 11:48:13 AM · #35 |
Originally posted by PhilipDyer:
Actually, it's the same as a swimming pool, which is refilled way less frequently. The water is clean and the people in them are supposed to be clean as well. You know, unless there are a lot of us foreigners doing wacky things in there... :-) |
I think public swimming pools are gross, too. But at least they have chlorine!
I'm sorry, I keep killing these humor threads... I really am a funny guy, I swear! |
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03/10/2006 12:19:46 PM · #36 |
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared
in court on Friday in front of the Judge. The Judge said, "You seem like
nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than
jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the
evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you
back in court on Monday."
On Monday, the two guys were back in court, and the judge said to the
first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, Your Honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, Your Honor. I drew two circles like this:
O o
"....and told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and
the
small circle is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable!" said the Judge.
To the second guy the judge said, "And you, how did you do?"
"Well, Your Honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"156 people! That's amazing!! How did you manage to do that?"
"Well, I used a similar approach. I drew two circles ...
o O
.....and said (pointing to the small circle), "This is your ass hole
before prison..."
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03/10/2006 12:29:44 PM · #37 |
This is true. I took my 3 1/2 year old granddaughter to a children's concert at the library Tuesday night. At one point the singers were doing pieces from "Porgy and Bess". They sang the lyrics, "Your daddy's rich and your momma good lookin" My granddaughter, sitting on the floor at the front of the stage, jumps up and yells at the singer, "My daddy's not Rich! His name is Mike!"
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03/10/2006 12:54:47 PM · #38 |
A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel
where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of
hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel
schedules, so the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on
Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his
room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he
accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without
realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the
floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've
just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has
been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
Love,
Your Hubby
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here
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03/10/2006 01:27:29 PM · #39 |
A guy was in line at the supermarket, when he noticed a beautiful blonde woman smiling and waving at him. So he asks, "Do I know you?"
She replies. "I may be mistaken, but I think you may be the father of one of my children". Instantly his mind shoots back to the one and only time he had been unfaithful.
"Christ!" he says. "Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I had sex with on Joe's pool table in front of all my buddies while your
girlfriend spanked me with a wet celery and stuck a cucumber in my butt?"
"No" she replies. "I'm your daughter's second grade teacher."
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