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02/23/2006 10:31:43 AM · #1 |
"I've allways wanted to know just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
- CinnamonAngel (originally asked me this question)
First off we'd like to thank CinnamonAngel for asking this deeply profound question. This is in fact one of the more difficult questions in the world to answer as you'll see below...
I long thought about this question...but often found myself distracted by another thought...
"How much woodchuck could a wood truck chuck if a wood truck could chuck woodchuck?"
Hence, every time I've attempted to reach that conclusion I am always distracted by the above tangential thought. I believe this is due to my concern for the well-being of the woodchuck. You see, many woodchuck's can be seen alongside American highways after having been chucked themselves. These are extremely unhappy, and often FLAT woodchucks. Where as, I feel very little emotion for the chucked wood that is chucked by the woodchucks. Therefore, my mind is always drawn too the more serious of the two matters. The wood trucks chucking woodchucks.
I did once almost answer your question but realized there was a great lack in the question's definition making it seemingly impossible to answer as phrazed. This lack stems from improper punctuation, or rather...a lack of a defined period. Hence, one can not answer how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood due to the fact that one would need to know the given time period. One could speculate, and assume a minute interval...or perhaps even a single chuck. But that'd be improper...at best, we could assume the question relates to the overall average lifespan of the woodchuck species.
So in trying to answer we are left with an inconclusive question. Ranging from "a small branch" in a single chuck...or the chucking equivalent of "one tree" within it's entire life. (Mind you, although a woodchuck is capable of chucking a single tree within it's brief lifespan said woodchuck is incapable of chucking said tree in one chuck. And would be required to chuck the tree in several smaller chucks.
Furthermore, this question is complicated further by the matter I posted above. "Just what is the average lifespan for a woodchuck?" As we stated earlier, a woodchuck can chuck one entire tree in it's lifespan. However, before the advent of wood trucks (and other woodchuck chucking auto-mobile vehicles) the woodchuck lived much longer. And hence, many theorize that the famed woodchuck could in actuality indeed chuck two entire trees in it's lifetime.
Although I admit this is an incomplete answer to the question due to the above stated reasons, I do hope this helps to satisfy your desire for an answer.
Sincerely,
The Saj |
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02/23/2006 10:33:22 AM · #2 |
I just woke up about 10 min. ago, this is really funny. I think you have set the pase for my entire day
thankyou
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02/23/2006 10:34:12 AM · #3 |
Thanks for the laugh.
Oh, and by the way, I think you might need a new hobby or something. Sounds like you got waayyy too much time on your hands! :)
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02/23/2006 10:37:45 AM · #4 |
IMO... a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as it could if a woodchuck could chuck wood :o)
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02/23/2006 10:47:47 AM · #5 |
Ahhh.... but the real question is this.....
How much wood could a wood duck chuck if a wood duck could chuck would?
And not only that..... but if fuzzy wuzzy had no hair.... fuzzy wuzzy wasn't really fuzzy wuzzy was he?
Message edited by author 2006-02-23 10:49:16. |
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02/23/2006 10:51:15 AM · #6 |
Originally posted by Manic:
IMO... a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as it could if a woodchuck could chuck wood :o) |
started to answer but Manic already beat me to it.
next twister...
Say " Toy Boat"
3 times as FAST as you can.....bet it isn't very fast!
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02/23/2006 10:56:51 AM · #7 |
One study on the woodchuck question...
But I want to know, why does Sally sell seashells by the seashore? |
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02/23/2006 11:15:05 AM · #8 |
Originally posted by saracat:
Thanks for the laugh.
Oh, and by the way, I think you might need a new hobby or something. Sounds like you got waayyy too much time on your hands! :) |
Actually, I wrote that response (and numerous others) about 2 yrs ago. |
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01/03/2007 01:51:29 PM · #9 |
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01/03/2007 02:18:51 PM · #10 |
Since we have an insider at Punxsutawney Phil's (our own  alanfreed is webmaster), I'd say we have a unique opportunity to investigate Phil's every-increasing real estate holdings, and finally answer the question of how much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground. |
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01/03/2007 11:11:11 PM · #11 |
But I want to know, why does Sally sell seashells by the seashore?
Sally sells seashells by the seashore because her rubber baby buggy has rubber baby buggy bumpers!!! |
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01/04/2007 02:59:13 AM · #12 |
So she can afford the liver transplant for her brother timmy. |
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