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02/16/2006 07:44:23 PM · #1 |
HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva. eeewwwww.....
PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, (no sh*t Sherlock!), causing constipation and
pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy - we live sheltered lives!)
BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (Oh my gosh!!!)
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! ----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the
act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! I'm still laughing!!!!
Friendship is like peeing your pants.......
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth
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02/16/2006 07:47:29 PM · #2 |
Cindi - true story from Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit.....
when I worked there many years ago, we had a 500+ lb woman come in for her mammogram. When the tech lifted one of her breasts, part of a rancide sandwhich fell out from underneath! The lady's comment was, I wondered where that went" SO sick!!!! |
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02/16/2006 07:48:03 PM · #3 |
Cheese & Rice!
Thats insane. |
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02/16/2006 07:49:38 PM · #4 |
This is just sick..................
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02/16/2006 07:49:41 PM · #5 |
Originally posted by idnic:
In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go. |
Holy Shit!
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02/16/2006 07:50:04 PM · #6 |
| I'm always so skeptical about this stuff... |
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02/16/2006 07:52:55 PM · #7 |
I worked for a company that processed Worker's Compensation claims. We weren't supposed to read the files. But I was young, and the job was boring.
The one that really got to me was that of a woman who worked with some kind of press. Her breast got caught and the machine pinched off a nipple. She had it sewn back on and returned to work. I thought that was the end, but a few weeks later she was back in the hospital getting the other nipple sewn back on too! |
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02/16/2006 07:55:27 PM · #8 |
Well lets see, recently at Marquette General Er:
Last night....drunk 22yr old jumped out of a moving vehicle and fractured his skull. Says he thought they (his buddy and him) were being followed and he had to get away.
We often get prisoners in who stick anything they can deep into their penis - just to get out of the prison for a while.
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02/16/2006 07:56:24 PM · #9 |
Speaking of nipples--
My mom worked at a home caring for mentally retarded children and adults.
Well someone took a liking to her one day and bit off her nipple!!
True Story!
TMI?
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02/16/2006 07:57:38 PM · #10 |
Ewwwwwie - are people really that nuts? and not just the mental ones... lol Weird world we live in!
Edit to mention I like both of my nipples attached and think I'll keep them that way!
Message edited by author 2006-02-16 19:58:12. |
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02/16/2006 07:58:05 PM · #11 |
Originally posted by buzzrock:
Speaking of nipples--
My mom worked at a home caring for mentally retarded children and adults.
Well someone took a liking to her one day and bit off her nipple!!
True Story!
TMI? |
OUCH !!! |
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02/16/2006 08:00:29 PM · #12 |
I was 12 years old and finally had to quit breast-feeding!!
Sorry bad Joke..
But the nipple being bit is true. |
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02/16/2006 08:03:34 PM · #13 |
Originally posted by greatandsmall:
I worked for a company that processed Worker's Compensation claims. We weren't supposed to read the files. But I was young, and the job was boring.
The one that really got to me was that of a woman who worked with some kind of press. Her breast got caught and the machine pinched off a nipple. She had it sewn back on and returned to work. I thought that was the end, but a few weeks later she was back in the hospital getting the other nipple sewn back on too! |
ROFL! What did she do the second time? If it was the same accident, I would've sent her for breast reduction! |
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02/16/2006 08:06:00 PM · #14 |
Yep, same machine. What a masochist eh?
Message edited by author 2006-02-16 20:06:22. |
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02/16/2006 08:10:35 PM · #15 |
| LOL this is one of the most disturbing threads ever! But I mean it in a good way... :) |
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02/16/2006 08:13:38 PM · #16 |
If you really want to have fun google: rectal foreign bodies.
Here's a link that includes the "anal enema case" |
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02/16/2006 08:15:04 PM · #17 |
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02/16/2006 08:16:47 PM · #18 |
I got one :)
I used to work in a large medical facility in the pacific northwest in the medical records department. Well one of the multiple tasks I did was put 'stickyback' into medical records...stickyback being the nick for transcriptions. I came across one where a gentleman and his common law wife were getting frisky and decided to 'try something new'. He had one of thos 20 0z plastic pepsi bottles lodged in his ass!!! He had waited like 3 days to come in, hoping it would come out on it's own, and he ended up having to have it removed in our day surgery! Mind you the medical records department was 'huge' so all of us girls were howling in laughter in the back :)
Another gross story....but this wasn't from reading the stickyback.....again in the same medical facility ... it was 3 floors...on the top floor is where all the surgeons, ENT docs and internists were....anyhow....one doctor's nurse was telling us girls a story in the lunchroom....they had a patient come in that said 'her husband' had been complaining that her vagina stunk really bad......yep....she hadn't noticed but her husband had....anyhow she wanted to get checked and make sure everything was okay.....come to find out....she had an old tampon that had been lodged up in there for quite some time and the doctor had to remove it. EW!
Sorry for the grossness :)
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02/16/2006 08:19:59 PM · #19 |
My brother had a nipple ring. He was watching his roommates bulldog puppy. He was playing with the puppy when the little rascal jumped up and grabbed his nipple ring with his teeth. Needless to say, the puppy shook it like puppys do, and the nipple ring ripped right out.
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02/16/2006 08:20:12 PM · #20 |
yum.
time to go fix myself somethin to eat...
Message edited by author 2006-02-16 20:20:35. |
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02/16/2006 08:21:26 PM · #21 |
Is the Adult Content Warning Enough!!! LMAO
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02/16/2006 08:33:26 PM · #22 |
| the ER is really an interesting place to work......have seen hamsters used as sex toys, self catherizations that went really wrong (these wer not medical caths) kids with toys stuck up their noses, a girl with a live cockroach in her ear once, a guy who cut off half his fingers on one had lifing his running lawn mower out of a ditch (he held the safety bar with the opposite hand so he wouldn't have to restart his mower), a gal with a light bulb stuck in her vagina.....the list goes on and on. |
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02/16/2006 08:33:50 PM · #23 |
entertainment at its best
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02/16/2006 08:35:24 PM · #24 |
Originally posted by deapee:
entertainment at its best |
Glad there wasnt a horror story with something stuck in you, making you sick this morning bro!! lol
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02/16/2006 08:35:57 PM · #25 |
Hey David,
Tell us again about your Dr.'s visit today?
J/K! |
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