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02/01/2006 04:05:41 AM · #1 |
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my butt hole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
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02/01/2006 04:14:11 AM · #2 |
| Thanks, Brent, you make my working day a little less bad. |
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02/01/2006 04:17:09 AM · #3 |
OMG - that's hysterical!! roflmao
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02/01/2006 04:32:54 AM · #4 |
So how do you get spat coffee off the monitor and keyboard? ROFLMAO!!
Message edited by author 2006-02-01 04:34:07.
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02/01/2006 06:17:19 AM · #5 |
OMG that is too too funny. I so love my job and even more after reading this. Thanks for getting my day off to a great start. I will have this in my head all day.
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02/01/2006 06:20:29 AM · #6 |
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02/01/2006 06:59:22 AM · #7 |
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02/01/2006 07:35:51 AM · #8 |
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02/01/2006 08:21:47 AM · #9 |
Nothing like a jellyfish enema to start the day off right!!
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02/01/2006 08:29:25 AM · #10 |
from 1998
dosn't claim it's true -- doesn't asy anything about Laughline
jokes on the internet never die
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02/01/2006 08:49:59 AM · #11 |
Originally posted by ralphnev:
from 1998
dosn't claim it's true -- doesn't asy anything about Laughline
jokes on the internet never die |
I don't think we thought it was true, but it is still funny.
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02/01/2006 01:29:03 PM · #12 |
True or not, I still cracked up!
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02/01/2006 01:38:56 PM · #13 |
Originally posted by Brent_Ward:
True or not, I still cracked up! |
He said CRACK. Heh-heh... Heh-heh... |
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02/01/2006 02:50:17 PM · #14 |
A classic urban myth, evenmade the Darwin award site back in 98. Of course the give away is the doctor's giving the guy a cream to deal with stingers on a mucose membrane. Anyone who dives knows you treat jelly stings with lots of vinegar or an acetic acid solution, and a flow of fresh water. Certain jellies can kill within minutes, and a stinging like this one where it was piped into a "sensative" area would have resulted in hospitalisation if not death. Their stingers are a bit like nettels, hair is if anything a protectant, so the pain would have been a lot more general if less funny.
Message edited by author 2006-02-01 14:58:30. |
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