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01/11/2006 04:18:47 PM · #51 |
Originally posted by Riponlady:
Originally posted by Flash:
My relpy to this quote has no association to the thread topic of OBGYN exams. It is particularily intended to address some facts regarding women and assault. 25% (that is 1 in 4) women, have been or will be assaulted in their lifetime. Of those that are targeted, the highest percentage for escape/avoiding rape is 50%. Meaning that 50% will be raped no matter what they do. Those that do escape rape, will most often succeed via resistance. The odds are not good no matter what, however, the best odds are with violent resistence. Violence (battering) against the woman occurs either BEFORE, DURING or AFTER the assault. This make it a double concern for the victim.
If the notion of 75% of women not being assaulted is the basis for the position that it is overblown and hyped by the media, then we simply disagree. Ultimately, individual decisons on preparation, daily routines, and whether or not one listened to their Etheric sense (sometimes called women's intuition), have a bearing on the risk level for them. 25% vs 75%. In the end, it is better to be prepared and not need the preparation, than to be unprepared and need it - in my opinion.
Now we return you to your regularly scheduled programming. |
Sorry to hijack this thread but I would like to know where you got this % from? I accessed this site
rape stats
and found in the US ( which haas 13x more rapes than UK) the stats for rapes is 72 in 100,000 which is 0.072%.
Yes women are assaulted but if the stats were as high as you say, there woukd be a huge outcry. We would all know at least 20 women who had been raped! I am not trying to say women should not be careful and take the usual sensible precautions, I just don't want every woman to live in fear and not travel, go out at night, trust people because they expect to be raped ast some point in their lives.
Men and women are assaulted every day but lets keep all this in perspective. The same goes for the chances of children being kidnapped - be careful but don't stop your child playing in parks or going to the mall, let them walk to places and don't put the fear of all people into them.
I'll probably get hammered for this but I suggest we start another rant rather than continue to hijack this thread so no more from me here!
Sorry p-a!
Pauline |
The same site says the only %10 of the women raped actually report it. Is your 72 in 100,000 reported rapes or not? If it's reported rapes, the figure could actually be 720 in 100,000 which, while still low is quite a bit higher.
It also says that %25 of college women have been raped. Do we take that to mean 1 in 4 female college students will be raped at some time during their studies? That is outrageous if true.
Personally, I don't advocate paranoia and staying inside hiding in the closet. What I do suggest is being careful, being aware of your surroundings and being prepared. I think ALL women should take a self-defense class (No, I'm not saying it should be mandatory, I just think it's a good idea.) I'm also in favor of pepper spray and the like for personal defense, but carrying such things is a matter of the law, being trained and personal choice.
You can quote statistics until you are blue in the face, but if you or someone you love becomes one of those statistics it really doesn't matter. It is possible to minimize the risk and enjoy life fully.
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01/11/2006 04:32:51 PM · #52 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
You can quote statistics until you are blue in the face, but if you or someone you love becomes one of those statistics it really doesn't matter. It is possible to minimize the risk and enjoy life fully. |
Well said. |
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01/11/2006 04:39:50 PM · #53 |
Hey Ashley..as a single independant female I felt I could drop my 2 cents worth in :)
I am a wee thing, just a smidge over 5 feet, and blonde..some have even said cute. But I have found the best way to defend myself is to NOT be a victim. I walk alone at night, in alleys, I bike all over the city and take pics at night. Now I do live in a fairly safe city. But I have found you get less hassles if you carry yourself as if you are strong and could kick some ass, if neccesary. Even if you do not always feel that way, fake it :) Be aware, keep your head up, and Trust your instincts. If some gives you a bad feeling, split, cross the street. Dont be scared be defensive.
Don't bother with stats, they mean nuthin' just live smart !
And get yourself to the Gyno girl! Find a way...your soul aint worth a hoot if the body isnt there to carry it around!! Take care of you ;) |
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01/11/2006 04:41:54 PM · #54 |
well said Rae-Ann
Be Smart and pro-active works for both topic in this thread |
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01/11/2006 04:42:13 PM · #55 |
getting cervical cancer would be way more embrassing imho.
if you can show it all to someone for sex, a doctor who sees 100's of naked people every day shouldn't bother you.
I'll go on to say, male gynos in my experience (about 6 gyns - i move alot) are gentler, kinder, and have a better "bedside manner" than female ones.
Its all just skin. |
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01/11/2006 04:49:51 PM · #56 |
Would you have to groom yourself for them or anything so that they won't comment about such? Any grooming tips?
text
Here's a joke...
A woman gets ready for her dreaded appointment with her gyno. She knows the routine she 's been doing this annual visit for the last ten years. She makes an appointment fairly early in the morning so that she is still fresh and clean after she showers, plus she can then enjoy the rest of her day without the appointment looming over her.
Even after all these years, and despite the fact that her gyno is old enough to be her father she still is nervous and embarressed.
As she showers, drys and then selects the new underwear she has bought especially for the occasion she decides to go one step further. "I know, I'll use a bit of talcum powder down there." she thinks to herself. Rushing to her daughters room in the semi darkness she finds a container and powder puff and starts to dust on liberally.
Feeling quite self assured she continues to put on her underwear which had been very carefully chosen. Not white because of possible stains, not black or red or with any sort of lace because he might get the impression that she was a little racy....no she opted for dark blue sporty things which came up to her waist and covered the entire span of her buttocks.
Half an hour later she's at the gynos. "Good morning Mrs. Roberts! How are you?" She was handed her robe and asked to get into it. A few minutes later, lying on her back, legs up he enters the room. "Here for your check up, Mrs Roberts?" he enquires
"Yes, just the usual thanks." she replies
He gets in closer has a look and then smiles at her "Mrs Roberts you have gone to a lot of trouble this time haven't you?"
Not quite knowing what he means she helplessly returns his smile and nods.
The examination takes about 15 mins in total and relieved that it's all over for another year, Mrs Roberts returns to the cubicle to change. Fumbling for her underwear she notices little reflections of light all over the carpet and on her hands. "What's this ?" she wonders She opens the cubicle curtain an inch to let more light in and to her horror she discovers glitter! Glitter on the floor, glitter on her hands, glitter on her thighs and glitter down there!
Her gyno was right she had gone to a lot of trouble today!
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01/11/2006 04:55:48 PM · #57 |
| Since you mentioned going to university soon, you might look into what health services your university will provide. I have no idea how things work in Thailand, but here in the US many colleges have in house medical services. Here at Dartmouth, you can see an OBGYN right on campus. |
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01/11/2006 05:12:22 PM · #58 |
seriously, you gotta go to the gyno. Every girlfriend I've ever had goes once a year...they all hate it, but it's something that has to be done...most girls start going there around like 16-17 years old...you definately have to go...
These people are doctors...don't 'groom' yourself just for them, they could care less...obviously, wash up, you don't want to be disgusting....but you will NOT be anything near the worst thing they ever saw in their lives...you can be guaranteed of that.
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01/11/2006 05:12:28 PM · #59 |
I somehow got dragged into this topic. But as I have been speaking quite alot with different kind of doctors, even the "regular" docs have been staring around the whole human body in all kinds of different forms (sometimes quite crippled) and they're not impressed nor distracted due to _any_ kind of sight they will behold.
And then its all different scale in case of gynaecologists. They've seen em all and inside's also. Even dentists occasionally make "Oh my gosh"-statements. But you wont hear that from gyne. Never. They've seen things what make normal people have nightmares. So I would guess a normal, young girl is just an easy customer in the middle of everything else.
Quite alot said, got carried away. |
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01/11/2006 05:59:33 PM · #60 |
| Hehe I just discovered this thread.... If anyone wants to ask me some questions, I am a hobby gynaecologist! |
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01/11/2006 06:09:50 PM · #61 |
A few notes on this thread:
1) I'm always suspicious about stats which say, "Only X percent of cases are reported." How do you compile these statistics if they aren't reported? Survey?
2) I'm fairly sure (but can't quote "statistics") that the large percentage of rape could be considered "date rape". Now I'm not saying that this isn't reprehensible, but it's less relavent to a woman feeling "safe" on a street at night. You are not "date raped" on the way home from the movies. True predators are likely to be uncommon if not rare. Likewise, the vast majority of the 1 in 4 women who are assaulted are assaulted by their significant other. There aren't too many places in this country were you are likely to get "jumped" on any given night.
3) Pa, you need to talk to someone about your life. As a pediatrician, I can say that this thread, and a number of others, have raised red flags that make me want you to at the least find a good physician/psychologist to talk to. No, you're not crazy, but you betray more than you think with your comments. |
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01/11/2006 06:10:29 PM · #62 |
Originally posted by kiwiness:
Hehe I just discovered this thread.... If anyone wants to ask me some questions, I am a hobby gynaecologist! |
lol
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01/11/2006 06:30:31 PM · #63 |
.
Message edited by author 2017-01-09 17:15:02. |
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01/11/2006 07:58:25 PM · #64 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
A few notes on this thread:
1) I'm always suspicious about stats which say, "Only X percent of cases are reported." How do you compile these statistics if they aren't reported? Survey?
2) I'm fairly sure (but can't quote "statistics") that the large percentage of rape could be considered "date rape". Now I'm not saying that this isn't reprehensible, but it's less relavent to a woman feeling "safe" on a street at night. You are not "date raped" on the way home from the movies. True predators are likely to be uncommon if not rare. Likewise, the vast majority of the 1 in 4 women who are assaulted are assaulted by their significant other. There aren't too many places in this country were you are likely to get "jumped" on any given night.
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I'm suspicious of such stats too, but if all you go by are reported cases and you KNOW that a significant portion aren't reported, you may be way understating the case.
As far as date rape, I agree that a significant portion of those 1 in 4 may not be getting "jumped", but, date rape is still rape. Just because the rapist and the victim know each other, or may have been intimate before doesn't mitigate the crime. The random attacks do occur and you can't look at some numbers and conclude that no precautons are necessary.
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01/11/2006 08:33:30 PM · #65 |
This thread should raise a red flag in all parents. Would you want your child discussing these topics with complete strangers instead of discussing it with you?
I believe this thread should be stopped/locked. |
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01/11/2006 08:41:19 PM · #66 |
Originally posted by maryba:
This thread should raise a red flag in all parents. Would you want your child discussing these topics with complete strangers instead of discussing it with you?
I believe this thread should be stopped/locked. |
I wouldn't. However, I'd prefer this if my child were unable to discuss such things with me. That aside, I'm assuming that Ashley is 19 (based on her stated age), and an adult by my standards. If we are going to censor threads based on age appropriateness, then we should petition for an age verification system on this site. |
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01/11/2006 09:17:32 PM · #67 |
Whoa... this is getting more serious the mor I read it, except for the few ice breakers.
DrAchoo, I did see a psychiatrist when I was 13, went for a couple of months and he gave me anti depressants. I decided not to go anymore because he was ridiculus and I felt no need for medication, it makes me worse. One of my ex boyfriends also said to talk to my school psychologist, I did as well and it was just annoying. So my conclusion, talk it with my best friends if I've got any problems.
They help out a lot, sure they're all virgins never been close to even having sex, so they can only imagine. Still, maybe it's me being in denial or stubborn, I wouldn't go to one again because I feel emotionally full and happy, it only starts when my curiosity arises.
I've asked my mum about gynaecology visits, well not very helpful because she doesn't remember much about the nervousness, especially because she doesn't mind walking around the house naked even when some of my friends are around. |
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01/11/2006 09:22:23 PM · #68 |
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
As far as date rape, I agree that a significant portion of those 1 in 4 may not be getting "jumped", but, date rape is still rape. Just because the rapist and the victim know each other, or may have been intimate before doesn't mitigate the crime. The random attacks do occur and you can't look at some numbers and conclude that no precautons are necessary. |
I fully agree Spazmo. My point was that such statistics as "1 in 4 women are assaulted" should not be used in a conversation about personal safety while out and about. A similar idea applies to kidnapping. We hear about children being kidnapped all the time, but the reality is there are only about 50 cases of strangers kidnapping children a year in the whole country. The rest are committed by estranged family members or people hired by them. Armed with this information, and knowing I have no such family members, I tend to worry a little less about my kids. I think women should feel the same about walking around at night. Certainly common sense prevails, but to live in fear is probably to overblow reality.
I also think the advice to fight back is probably not the best in a predatory rape. Predatory rape, as opposed to "date rape" is not about sexual gratification, but about domination and power. If you fight back, you are only upping the ante and are now likely to wind up dead as well as raped. Date rape is a whole different scenario. There, sexual gratification is the likely goal and fighting back probably puts a damper on things or gets a message across to the totally thick headed.
Of course, I am not a trained rape prevention expert. I'm just expressing my opinion based on my education and knowledge. |
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01/11/2006 09:26:08 PM · #69 |
Originally posted by pa_cuthbert:
she doesn't mind walking around the house naked even when some of my friends are around. |
Nude challenge photo op. |
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01/11/2006 09:27:55 PM · #70 |
| I think if rape should ever happen again, I'll use my one "No" rule. Basically say no firmly once and clear enough. Then if he (she?) continues let it be, better than winding up dead. I never have to enjoy it with them anyways. |
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01/11/2006 09:57:47 PM · #71 |
Ashley,
Personal growth and healing is a lifelong journey. I have visited therapists during various difficult times. Some were helpful, and some were not. A few years ago I found an incredible counselor who helped me work through a particularly terrible realtionship. Had I found her sooner, I may have found the strength to avoid such situations in the first place. Part of my healing involved reading some very helpful books as well as keeping a journal.
I discovered that I have a mild case of dissosiative disorder. Some of the things you say remind me of myself at your age. I too suffered childhood sexual abuse. I'm no expert, but I agree with DrAchoo. Don't give up on therapists just because you haven't found the right one. |
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01/12/2006 09:30:18 AM · #72 |
Originally posted by pa_cuthbert:
I think if rape should ever happen again, I'll use my one "No" rule. Basically say no firmly once and clear enough. Then if he (she?) continues let it be, better than winding up dead. I never have to enjoy it with them anyways. |
The "NO" rule is a very good one and consistent with informed assault prevention teachings (as is the earlier advice from Rae-Ann regarding attitude, awareness and how one carries themselves). The second part of your post is a personal decision, made by each individual at the time of an incident.
Message edited by author 2006-01-12 10:13:51.
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01/12/2006 09:52:45 AM · #73 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
As far as date rape, I agree that a significant portion of those 1 in 4 may not be getting "jumped", but, date rape is still rape. Just because the rapist and the victim know each other, or may have been intimate before doesn't mitigate the crime. The random attacks do occur and you can't look at some numbers and conclude that no precautons are necessary. |
I fully agree Spazmo. My point was that such statistics as "1 in 4 women are assaulted" should not be used in a conversation about personal safety while out and about. A similar idea applies to kidnapping. We hear about children being kidnapped all the time, but the reality is there are only about 50 cases of strangers kidnapping children a year in the whole country. The rest are committed by estranged family members or people hired by them. Armed with this information, and knowing I have no such family members, I tend to worry a little less about my kids. I think women should feel the same about walking around at night. Certainly common sense prevails, but to live in fear is probably to overblow reality.
I also think the advice to fight back is probably not the best in a predatory rape. Predatory rape, as opposed to "date rape" is not about sexual gratification, but about domination and power. If you fight back, you are only upping the ante and are now likely to wind up dead as well as raped. Date rape is a whole different scenario. There, sexual gratification is the likely goal and fighting back probably puts a damper on things or gets a message across to the totally thick headed.
Of course, I am not a trained rape prevention expert. I'm just expressing my opinion based on my education and knowledge. |
Dr. I am glad that you recognize that you are not a trained rape prevention expert. I am not qualified in pediatrics and would not give advice in that field.
So far, I have read that a distinction exits between "date rape" where as many as 25% of college women are victims and street assaults where the percentage is percieved as less. The address of each incident is the same regardless of its origin. The facts are that a large portion of assaults occurr to college age women and typically drugs and/or alcohol are involved. Due to this fact, any counter measure used against a predator must be able to be effective against dulled senses. Many Police departments use a system called PPCT. It stands for Pressure Point Control Tactics. It was founded by Bruce Siddle. It is used and taught by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Michigan State Police, many government agencies and a host of other very well known organizations. I taught PPCT's assault prevention class to women for several years. I taught at local colleges, Girl Scouts, various women's groups and church groups. I never teach men these techniques. Other instructors do, I don't. It is simply one of those lines that each person draws in the sand.
Regarding the effectiveness of submission vs. resistence. This as I stated in my original post is an individual decision and the odds are not good no matter what. However, the BEST odds are with resistence. Due to the associated violence with street assaults, battering occurs either before, during or after the assault. This means that even if the woman submitted, she is still likely to be battered and thus suffer 2 assaults. Therefore, if one is likely to be battered anyway, then why not have a countermeasure available, should you CHOOSE to use it. You still can decide to submit. But at least you have the option of resistence (with proven methods used by smaller police officers to subdue much larger felon's).
That is my only point. Many municipalities (local police departments) have PPCT trained officers and many have community seminars where they share some of this information on avoidance. Much of it has to do with what was previously posted, regarding attitude, awareness and the way one carries themselves.
PPCT
Message edited by author 2006-01-12 12:51:17.
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01/12/2006 10:03:46 AM · #74 |
Originally posted by Flash:
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Originally posted by Spazmo99:
As far as date rape, I agree that a significant portion of those 1 in 4 may not be getting "jumped", but, date rape is still rape. Just because the rapist and the victim know each other, or may have been intimate before doesn't mitigate the crime. The random attacks do occur and you can't look at some numbers and conclude that no precautons are necessary. |
I fully agree Spazmo. My point was that such statistics as "1 in 4 women are assaulted" should not be used in a conversation about personal safety while out and about. A similar idea applies to kidnapping. We hear about children being kidnapped all the time, but the reality is there are only about 50 cases of strangers kidnapping children a year in the whole country. The rest are committed by estranged family members or people hired by them. Armed with this information, and knowing I have no such family members, I tend to worry a little less about my kids. I think women should feel the same about walking around at night. Certainly common sense prevails, but to live in fear is probably to overblow reality.
I also think the advice to fight back is probably not the best in a predatory rape. Predatory rape, as opposed to "date rape" is not about sexual gratification, but about domination and power. If you fight back, you are only upping the ante and are now likely to wind up dead as well as raped. Date rape is a whole different scenario. There, sexual gratification is the likely goal and fighting back probably puts a damper on things or gets a message across to the totally thick headed.
Of course, I am not a trained rape prevention expert. I'm just expressing my opinion based on my education and knowledge. |
Dr. I am glad that you recognize that you are not a trained rape prevention expert. I am not qualified in pediatrics and would not give advice in that field.
So far, I have read that a distinction exits between "date rape" where as many as 25% of college women are victims and street assaults where the percentage is percieved as less. The address of each incident is the same regardless of its origin. The facts are that a large portion of assaults occurr to college age women and typically drugs and/or alcohol are involved. Due to this fact, any counter measure used against a predator must be able to be effective against dulled senses. Many Police departments use a system called PPCT. It stands for Pressure Point Control Tactics. It was founded by Bruce Siddle. It is used and taught by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Michigan State Police, many government agencies and a host of other very well known organizations. I taught PPCT's assault prevention class to women for several years. I taught at local colleges, Girl Scouts, various women's groups and church groups. I never teach men these techniques. Other instructors do, I don't. It is simply one of those lines that each person draws in the sand.
Regarding the effectiveness of submission vs. resistence. This as I stated in my original post is an individual decision and the odds are not good no matter what. However, the BEST odds are with resistence. Due to the associated violence with street assaults, battering occurs either before, during or after the assault. This means that even if the woman submitted, she is still likely to be battered and thus suffer 2 assaults. Therefore, if one is likely to be battered anyway, then why not have a countermeasure available, should you CHOOSE to use it. You still can decide to submit. But at least you have the option of resistence (with proven methods used by smaller police officers to subdue much larger felon's).
That is my only point. Many municipalities (local police departments) have PPCT trained officers and many have community seminars where they share some of this information on avoidance. Much of it has to do with what was previously posted, regarding attitude, awareness and the way one carries themselves. |
I agree %100
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01/13/2006 12:03:30 PM · #75 |
| So many interesting views seen, and to think this all came from the topic of gynaecologists. |
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