All I have.... - DPChallenge Forums

10/12/2005 10:14:20 PM · #1

A guy runs breathless into a bar and frantically asks the bartender for 10 shots.
The bartender pours the shots and the man downs them one after another at lightning speed.
"Gimme another 10!" says the man.
The bartender tells him they have plenty of alcohol and he doesn't need to hurry, but the man insists, so the bartender pours another 10 shots.
The man downs them in the blink of an eye and demands 10 more.
Once again the bartender explains that there is plenty and the man need not rush, but when the man insists, the bartender pours another 10.
As the man is downing the 3rd round of shots the bartender asks "Is something wrong? Why are you drinking so fast?".
The man replies "You would too if you have what I have!".
"OMG" says the bartender "What do you have if you don't mind my asking".

The man: "Oh about 75 cents!"

;)

Olympus 40-150mm f/2.8 PRO M.Zuiko

10/12/2005 10:56:56 PM · #2

OK, nobody likes the joke. How about a comment/critique on this shot? Taken today with the new cam. :)

Brad

Olympus OM-D E-M1

10/12/2005 10:58:41 PM · #3

Originally posted by idnic:

"Oh about 75 cents!"

Makka

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8 L USM

10/12/2005 10:59:34 PM · #4

The joke is fine!! :p hehehehe

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

10/13/2005 08:57:03 AM · #5

...jiggle for the day crowd

alfresco

Nikon D700

10/13/2005 09:09:57 AM · #6

Originally posted by idnic:

The man: "Oh about 75 cents!"

;)

heeeeheeeheeeheeee

scalvert

Canon EOS-5D Mark III

Canon EF 24-105mm f/4.0 L IS

10/13/2005 09:13:50 AM · #7

Originally posted by idnic:

How about a comment/critique on this shot?

That's a nice shot... gimme 10 more!

alfresco

Nikon D700

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

10/13/2005 09:14:36 AM · #8

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!"

Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man

"When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

alfresco

Nikon D700

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

10/13/2005 09:28:11 AM · #9

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

A woman goes into a bar and asks for a "double entendre". So the bartender gave her one.

A pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them up and the bartender says, "Don't you need to know where the bathroom is?" The pig says, "No, I go wee wee all the way home."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here, you know." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."

A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Where's the bartender?"

A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.

A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer......and some of those peanuts." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?". The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog."

A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?" The guy says, "No, I never thought the parrot would sell the place."

A cowboy walks into a bar. Upon leaving, he realizes that someone has painted his horse. The cowboy yells, "Which one of you painted my horse?" A seven foot tall hulk of a man says, menacingly, "I did." The cowboy realizes he is in trouble and replies, "Why, thank you - the first coat's dry!"

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!" The man replies, "No, I can't read the sign - I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: "I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!" The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, "The sign says no dogs allowed! You'll have to leave!" The friend says, "Sorry, I can't see the sign because I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The bartender replies, "Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?" The man says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" (This joke never gets old)

A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."

A little guy walks into a bar and slips on some vomit. Minutes later a tough guy walks into the bar and slips on the vomit as well. The little guy says, "I just did that." The big guy then beats the little guy up.

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"