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09/18/2005 09:04:08 PM · #76 |
Jbsmithana, I apoligize for calling you an idiot. I was just a little stressed. Maybe the joke was a tad taboo, but I geuss thats just me.
Peace.
Travis |
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09/18/2005 09:13:57 PM · #77 |
Originally posted by Travis99:
Jbsmithana, I apoligize for calling you an idiot. I was just a little stressed. Maybe the joke was a tad taboo, but I geuss thats just me.
Peace.
Travis |
No problem. Hope I did not kill the tread. Some pretty funny stuff. |
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09/18/2005 09:22:34 PM · #78 |
My black friend had 3 arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
My Jewish friend had 3 arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was GOD.
My Italian friend gave his 3 arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.
My California friends had 3 arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
My Irish friend then gave his 3 arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
BUT my LADY friend had most compelling evidence that Jesus was a WOMAN:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just
didn't get it
3. And even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more
work to do
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09/19/2005 11:02:16 AM · #79 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
Originally posted by sabphoto:
how many women on pms does it take to change a light bulb?
ONE DAMN IT! GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT???? |
You have to include the whole thing, dear. ;)
How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.
But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!
IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE
THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS... I’m sorry... what did you ask me? |
oh yes much better version...thanks for the update lol
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09/19/2005 02:33:36 PM · #80 |
Sad news...
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in... and then the trouble started. |
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09/19/2005 03:04:00 PM · #81 |
| Why can't Avon Ladies Run?............Lipstick |
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09/20/2005 06:19:09 PM · #82 |
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09/20/2005 06:23:31 PM · #83 |
A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the help of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Change said, "okay, take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "okay, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
The woman asked anxiously, "oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass!"
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09/20/2005 06:43:24 PM · #84 |
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two - but the difficult bit is getting them in there in the first place |
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09/20/2005 06:55:51 PM · #85 |
Some of the latest to make an appearance at work.
Hope they make you chuckle.
Ben
    
[url=//www.dpchallenge.com/image.php?IMAGE_ID=234433]nudity
Message edited by frisca - objectionable image changed to link. |
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