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Pet Diaries
Dog's diary:
8am -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm -- Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
Cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the
top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try
this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was. This did not work according to
plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my
confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn more
about what this is, and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, or more likely
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy
to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is
assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...Time is my friend, I can
wait, I will repay them all.
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