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03/15/2005 12:18:39 PM · #26 |
In Atlanta nothing is really very far from you, you just have to master the Metaphysical Quantum Leap through the parallel universes of interstates, idiots driving thier cell phones to work, bottlenecks designed to make gentle souls go berserk, did I mention cell phones, considerate drivers who stop for city buses across all lanes like they are school buses, backup from yesterdays fender bender, spill off from drivers fleeing the interstates, don't forget the cell phone drivers. It's not how far it is, it's how long does it take to get there on x day of the week at x time of the day. :-)
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03/15/2005 12:46:29 PM · #27 |
Originally posted by lonewolf:
This is really getting to me, the other thing that makes it worse is that I am starting not to like my job anymore so that makes the long drive even worse. I'm ready to freak out, I am tired of my entire "life". |
You have my sympathy, I think everyone at one point or another has just become fed up with his or her life in general. It really does just make you tired, which in turn makes it worse. Talk about vicious circle. You just have to keep the faith that things will eventually work themselves out, you also have to be willing to make some changes that may be hard at first but ultimately better for you. Easy to say, hard to do, I know. |
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03/15/2005 12:52:11 PM · #28 |
I have a 10 minute commute walking, or two minute drive, when I have too. Not even a stop light!
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03/15/2005 01:00:44 PM · #29 |
Look through things a diff way.
When I used to live on the US I used to work with construction. sometines 14 hours a day, not adding to that the time it took to get from my apartment to the construction site. Sometimes over 2 hours drive. Sometimes I didn't even came back home.
Nowadays I work at a hotel. Weekends, holidays, from 3 pm to 11 pm, every single day, only having 1 day off a week, and one sunday a month.
I now look back on time and realize how cool it was to work with construction. I was at a different place every week or so. I got to see lots of amazing places, meet lots of interesting ppl.l
I still meet interesting ppl, bujt the only thing I get to see while working is the lobby in front of me, basically. I have to take 6 buses a day, back and forth from work. It's an hour away from home. I always arrive late at night, never before midnight. I'l always so tired that I sleep until late in the morning, 11 am, sometimes just enough to wake up, shower, shave, have lunch and then head back to work. It's been like this for the past 3 years. Right now I'm on vacation, for the first time in my life. And I just can't stand staying at home anymore!
Be thankful for having a job, that pays for you life. Most ppl drive a lot more everyday, or even wait for a lot longer in a line, seeking for a job. If the job itself makes up for the drive, then u're all good. If it doesn't please u as much as u wanted, look for something different, but for christ's sake, work as if it is the best thing in the world.
I used to complain about having to take all those buses every single friggin' day for the past 3 years. And I still have nothing. By that I mean, nothing that my sweaty money was able to buy, like a car, a house, something big that really makes a difference to ur life. But I will.
And so will u all.
Message edited by author 2005-03-15 13:03:06.
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03/15/2005 01:05:49 PM · #30 |
I used to work at a shop near downtown San Diego and was 22.5 miles from home. When I started there, it would take me 35 minutes each way. 5 years later it was taking an hour to an hour & fifteen minutes each way.
The concrete jungle was closing in...
Glad I now go against traffic and only have a 25 minute, 17 mile drive each way to my own shop.
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03/15/2005 01:06:40 PM · #31 |
Thanks Clever, I think it all boils down to nothing seems to be going right in my life at this time. I'm having girlfriend troubles(see what men want thread), work troubles, etc...
I am glad I do have a job but sometimes I am not sure how long my company is going to last which is just another worry. I don't want to move closer only to lose my job. Its a never ending circle.
I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis but I'm only 34...LOL |
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03/15/2005 01:17:51 PM · #32 |
Originally posted by BradP: ... 17 mile drive each way to my own shop. |
Entrepreneur? Cool, and congrats!
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03/15/2005 01:20:40 PM · #33 |
Originally posted by lonewolf: Thanks Clever, I think it all boils down to nothing seems to be going right in my life at this time. I'm having girlfriend troubles(see what men want thread), work troubles, etc...
I am glad I do have a job but sometimes I am not sure how long my company is going to last which is just another worry. I don't want to move closer only to lose my job. Its a never ending circle.
I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis but I'm only 34...LOL |
It may be a good time to start looking for something else (new job) while you are currently employed. Easier to get a new job when you're currently working (from prospective employers standpoint). Plus a new job would give you something to get excited about and help put the other stressful items behind you. My 2 cents from someone whose been in very similar shoes...
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03/15/2005 01:22:11 PM · #34 |
Originally posted by BeingClever: Originally posted by lonewolf:
This is really getting to me, the other thing that makes it worse is that I am starting not to like my job anymore so that makes the long drive even worse. I'm ready to freak out, I am tired of my entire "life". |
You have my sympathy, I think everyone at one point or another has just become fed up with his or her life in general. It really does just make you tired, which in turn makes it worse. Talk about vicious circle. You just have to keep the faith that things will eventually work themselves out, you also have to be willing to make some changes that may be hard at first but ultimately better for you. Easy to say, hard to do, I know. |
I lived and worked in the Washington, D.C. area for 15 years and for most of those years my commute was 1.5 hours each way, so three hours a day of pure hell! I had made the mistake when I moved there of purchasing a car with no air conditioning because I thought I liked hot weather. Well, I didn't know what hot was until I experienced a few summers there, like living in a swamp. There were many summer days when I'd be driving home and I didn't think I'd make it without passing out from what felt like the 130-degree heat in the car. I did give up driving for a while and instead took the subway, but it only cut my commuting time by about 10 minutes, and I figured out after a while that I was getting sick a lot more due to people sneezing and coughing right in my face on a daily basis, so I went back to commuting by car. Sometimes I'd get home in the evening so exhausted that all I could do was flop into bed without dinner and sometimes fall asleep in my work clothes.
In any event, when I met my now-husband, he was also living and working in D.C. but had a few years before purchased the house we now live in, in upstate N.Y. It's an old farm house, a fixer-upper, and was especially a fixer-upper after he'd rented it out for a few years. It took a couple of years for us to arrange but we finally figured out a way for both of us to work from home, and so here we are. We managed it only because we were both willing to give up substantial earnings, but I've got to tell you it's the best decision we ever made. I'll never go back to living the other way again. I actually feel like we've got MORE money now, because I've got the time to enjoy it. I never could have taken up photography as a hobby before, there just wasn't any time, and I didn't have the energy for it. We've also had five years in the house now, renovating it, doing most of the work ourselves. We both can now install plumbing and re-wire and lay carpet and tile, wallpaper, etc., things I never would have imagined myself doing before. I still leave the auto mechanics to my husband, though. lol :)
Anyway, my point is you should really think hard about what it is you're willing to give up to get ultimately a better quality of life for the long term. I also think it's easier to do if you have a partner who also has an income, and you're both on the same wavelength in these matters. My husband and I were lucky in the sense that we married later in life, with no previous marriages or children (so no prior financial obligations), and were earning relatively high wages and had some savings when we decided to make the change, and as I said he already owned the house we're now living in. Think creatively and be willing to make some sacrifices and perhaps you'll be able to improve your situation. I wish you the best of luck. |
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03/15/2005 01:31:44 PM · #35 |
I have been working from my own home-office for the last 5 years. Right now my studio-office is 30 steps (25 of them uphill) from our house, in an annex separate from the house that used to be a garage/shed. I very much like my arrangement: For the most part I can work my own hours, I don't need to "dress up", no expenses for transportation/eating out.
The downside is loneliness. I don't get to share with anyone, my contacts with people during the day are all virtual, all about 1000 miles away in Wyoming while I sit here in British Columbia. I find that sometimes it is hard to keep motivated working all on my own. Most of the time it is no problem, but the lack of human contact, of being able to talk to a real person in person, sometimes gets to me. I make a big effort at keeping hours, at getting dressed and putting on a bit of makeup when I go to the "office", at coming down to the house for lunch. Those things help.
I think driving 1.5 hours to and back from work is a lot of ask of anyone. I would try to "fix" that, change it somehow. But, like Judith mentions, working on your own takes a lot of compromising. But it's fun! |
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03/15/2005 01:43:01 PM · #36 |
When I do get to work at home its great but I don't get to do it that much and most of the time when I do its on the weekends which goes back to having to work on the weekends....lol.
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03/15/2005 01:54:08 PM · #37 |
Thanks Judith, My so called other half is not talking to me at the moment, for who knows why(we don't live together) so I'm on my own maybe for ever. Which is one reason I think everything is getting to me so badly. |
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03/15/2005 03:19:36 PM · #38 |
Originally posted by lonewolf: Thanks Judith, My so called other half is not talking to me at the moment, for who knows why(we don't live together) so I'm on my own maybe for ever. Which is one reason I think everything is getting to me so badly. |
At the risk of seeming presumptuous, maybe you should try writing her a letter if she won't speak to you on the phone, and tell her everything you've been telling us, the things that are troubling you about your life at the moment, and of course ask her what's troubling her too. I think we've all lived through periods of crushing loneliness and thought it would never end, but for most of us it's not forever. Try to think of small, practical steps you can take to gain more control over your life. By the way, I don't know what CAD drafting is, but is it something you can do as a self-employed person? |
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03/15/2005 03:34:37 PM · #39 |
I've already started writting her a letter, thanks : )CAD drafting is computer aided drafting. It can be a self-employed job but the market is not good for that right now ie: no work. The company I work for makes steel bridge products as in steel grid decks etc...
Its hard when that one person that you go to for support is not there. I'm sorry for rambling on to everyone, I guess I'm just trying to vent. |
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03/16/2005 08:29:39 AM · #40 |
Well the letter is in the mail(some thing like the check is in the mail...lol)
Thank you everyone for your advice. I am trying to look at life in a different way, enjoy the small things. Like today the sun is kinda shinning and spring is on its way.(smile) The morning sun is shinning through my office window on a photo of me and my "girlfriend"(again smile)I'm trying!!! My boss is not in yet so it could all change in a heart beat....lol. |
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03/16/2005 08:35:49 AM · #41 |
I do a big commute everyday too and it's made all the difference this week a bit of sunshine and the days getting longer, good luck |
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03/16/2005 08:45:41 AM · #42 |
I've been spending over 3 hours a day commuting - it's no fun
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03/16/2005 09:49:01 AM · #43 |
Sun is still shinning and still no boss, it might be a good day after all. |
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03/16/2005 10:55:29 AM · #44 |
This day is getting better and better. 1. my boss will be out all day. 2. the sun is still shinning. 3 My girlfriend emailed me(just a joke email but its a start) |
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03/16/2005 10:58:58 AM · #45 |
Originally posted by lonewolf: This day is getting better and better. 1. my boss will be out all day. 2. the sun is still shinning. 3 My girlfriend emailed me(just a joke email but its a start) |
There you go! Now go out and take a short walk at lunchtime, get some fresh air and enjoy the sunshine. ;^)
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03/25/2005 04:53:08 AM · #46 |
.
Message edited by author 2005-03-25 04:58:41.
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