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03/02/2005 08:45:16 AM · #1 |
Here's a joke I just received via e-mail:
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life,
which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he
suffered from very bad breath. This made him.....what? (This is
so bad it's good...)--a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk ;)
Message edited by author 2005-03-02 08:46:28. |
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03/02/2005 08:54:48 AM · #2 |
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03/02/2005 09:00:50 AM · #3 |
| Yikes. I told that joke nearly 20 years ago! |
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03/02/2005 09:46:25 AM · #4 |
Originally posted by scalvert:
Yikes. I told that joke nearly 20 years ago! |
I was telling this joke in 1963! |
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03/02/2005 09:51:57 AM · #5 |
Originally posted by Koriyama:
I was telling this joke in 1963! |
You win- that's older than me. |
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03/02/2005 09:52:51 AM · #6 |
booooooooooooo. too funny
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03/02/2005 10:23:47 AM · #7 |
After many years of devoted service, the Hunchback of Notre Dame finally passed away. As the town mourned, the church held auditions for a replacement bell ringer. Though many offered to help, no one seemed to fit the part. Then one day a man with no arms asked to audition. The bishop was surprised. "How can you ring a bell with no arms?"
"Just listen," said the man. With that, he stepped up to the great bell and slammed his forehead into it. The bell rang out with an angelic chime that echoed throughout the hills. As the armless man continued beating his head against the bell, the townsfolk emerged to hear the glorious music. When the music stopped, the bishop burst into applause. "That was amazing," he exclaimed! But the man, dizzy from all the pounding, lost his footing and fell down the bell tower shaft to his death. The horrified bishop rushed down to the base of the bell tower, where a crowd had gathered. They all asked, "Who was this great musician?"
The bishop stammered, "I...I... don't know, but his face rings a bell."
The next day, another man knocked on the grieving bishop's door. He said, "I am the brother of the bell ringer who died so tragically yesterday. It would be my honor to take his place." The bishop agreed to an audition, and once again the bell rang out in heavenly song. The townspeople rushed into the streets to hear the familiar music, but just as he was finishing, the second man lost his balance and fell to his death. The bishop was mortified. Again he rushed to the bottom of the bell tower to face the crowd. They demanded. "Who was this man, who sounded so much like the first?"
"I don't know," the bishop sobbed, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother." |
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03/02/2005 10:35:36 AM · #8 |
Originally posted by scalvert:
After many years of devoted service, the Hunchback of Notre Dame finally passed away. As the town mourned, the church held auditions for a replacement bell ringer. Though many offered to help, no one seemed to fit the part. Then one day a man with no arms asked to audition. The bishop was surprised. "How can you ring a bell with no arms?"
"Just listen," said the man. With that, he stepped up to the great bell and slammed his forehead into it. The bell rang out with an angelic chime that echoed throughout the hills. As the armless man continued beating his head against the bell, the townsfolk emerged to hear the glorious music. When the music stopped, the bishop burst into applause. "That was amazing," he exclaimed! But the man, dizzy from all the pounding, lost his footing and fell down the bell tower shaft to his death. The horrified bishop rushed down to the base of the bell tower, where a crowd had gathered. They all asked, "Who was this great musician?"
The bishop stammered, "I...I... don't know, but his face rings a bell."
The next day, another man knocked on the grieving bishop's door. He said, "I am the brother of the bell ringer who died so tragically yesterday. It would be my honor to take his place." The bishop agreed to an audition, and once again the bell rang out in heavenly song. The townspeople rushed into the streets to hear the familiar music, but just as he was finishing, the second man lost his balance and fell to his death. The bishop was mortified. Again he rushed to the bottom of the bell tower to face the crowd. They demanded. "Who was this man, who sounded so much like the first?"
"I don't know," the bishop sobbed, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother." |
*groan*
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03/02/2005 11:32:27 AM · #9 |
Originally posted by Koriyama:
Originally posted by scalvert:
Yikes. I told that joke nearly 20 years ago! |
I was telling this joke in 1963! |
Umm, Koriyama? The movie Mary Poppins wasn't in theatres until 1964...
Robt.
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03/02/2005 11:36:11 AM · #10 |
Originally posted by bear_music:
Originally posted by Koriyama:
Originally posted by scalvert:
Yikes. I told that joke nearly 20 years ago! |
I was telling this joke in 1963! |
Umm, Koriyama? The movie Mary Poppins wasn't in theatres until 1964...
Robt. |
He wasn't born yet, so he was able to advance screen it.
in other words, He's kidding. ;) |
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03/02/2005 11:36:34 AM · #11 |
Originally posted by bear_music:
Originally posted by Koriyama:
Originally posted by scalvert:
Yikes. I told that joke nearly 20 years ago! |
I was telling this joke in 1963! |
Umm, Koriyama? The movie Mary Poppins wasn't in theatres until 1964...
Robt. |
Not to mention he was born in 1968 or 1969.
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03/02/2005 12:42:26 PM · #12 |
I'm just waiting for GeneralE to pop in here with some of his . . .
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03/02/2005 12:59:33 PM · #13 |
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in
the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess
tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour,
and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in
an open foyer.
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03/02/2005 01:02:59 PM · #14 |
A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their
belfry payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God,
so their business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his
business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the
Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The
Friars refused. The florist went to them and begged that they shut
down. Again they refused. So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert,
the biggest meanest thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat
them up, destroyed their flowers, trashed their shop, and said that
if they didn't close, he'd be back. Well, totally terrified, the
Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms.
This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. |
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03/02/2005 01:08:20 PM · #15 |
A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an
Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal". The other is sent to a
Spanish family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his
birth mother a picture of himself.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she
also had a picture of Ahmal.
He replies, "They're twins for Pete sake!! If you've seen
Juan, you've seen Ahmal!!"
--
Ok, ok, enough groaners from me :) (unless I come across more :) )
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03/03/2005 08:00:13 AM · #16 |
Originally posted by w24x192:
Originally posted by bear_music:
Originally posted by Koriyama:
Originally posted by scalvert:
Yikes. I told that joke nearly 20 years ago! |
I was telling this joke in 1963! |
Umm, Koriyama? The movie Mary Poppins wasn't in theatres until 1964...
Robt. |
Not to mention he was born in 1968 or 1969. |
I was joking. ; )
A quick google search gave me the 1964 release date. To emphasise the age of the joke, I used 1963.
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