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11/20/2004 10:24:11 AM · #1 |
Some of you might have read this before, some might not. I thought it was funny, and just wanted to share.
The following is (supposedly) an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
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Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVEDÂ THE ONLY "A"
Message edited by author 2004-11-20 17:27:37.
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11/20/2004 10:35:15 AM · #2 |
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11/20/2004 11:38:54 AM · #3 |
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11/20/2004 12:29:22 PM · #4 |
ah - a worthy read.
funny funny - very creative
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11/20/2004 01:17:00 PM · #5 |
That's funny.
I first heard that when I was taking freshman physics in the mid 80's. I'm pretty sure it's just a story, a good one, but more of a myth than anything else.
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11/20/2004 01:20:31 PM · #6 |
| that was great, thanks for sharing! lol |
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11/20/2004 01:31:04 PM · #7 |
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11/20/2004 02:23:49 PM · #8 |
As a Christian and someone who's studied world religions, I don't know of any religion that states if you aren't a member (term used loosely) you go to hell.
I stopped reading after that line LOL it sort of lost any validity right about then! |
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11/20/2004 02:28:13 PM · #9 |
Originally posted by GoldBerry:
As a Christian and someone who's studied world religions, I don't know of any religion that states if you aren't a member (term used loosely) you go to hell.
I stopped reading after that line LOL it sort of lost any validity right about then! |
I don't believe the author of this joke had any intention of being factual... Read through to the end. It's quite funny. Really!
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11/20/2004 05:10:08 PM · #10 |
| best religious laugh since the film Dogma. |
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11/20/2004 05:22:13 PM · #11 |
If you sincerely believe yourself to be a Christian, then you know that the term "Christian" applies to those who believe that the only way to the Father is through the Son. Those who reject the Son, reject the Father.
Your religion believes exactly what Teresa's new "boyfriend" has stated.
.... but it's a joke ... and I enjoyed it as such :)
Originally posted by GoldBerry:
As a Christian and someone who's studied world religions, I don't know of any religion that states if you aren't a member (term used loosely) you go to hell.
I stopped reading after that line LOL it sort of lost any validity right about then! |
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11/20/2004 05:22:28 PM · #12 |
Originally posted by GoldBerry:
As a Christian and someone who's studied world religions, I don't know of any religion that states if you aren't a member (term used loosely) you go to hell.
I stopped reading after that line LOL it sort of lost any validity right about then! |
I know of several denominations of Christianity that hold this to be a truth. Glad to hear you don't.
To the OP: seen it before but it's just as hilarious the 2nd time 'round.
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11/20/2004 05:23:42 PM · #13 |
someone at work got this in email.. and we laughed like crazy... loved seeing it posted.. how funny!
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