Clockwork Redux
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by JulietNN:
Hi from the Critique Club,

You asked for your shot to have an in depth comment from a member of the Critique Club.

This is one of those shots, that although it is excellent, will not score highly on DPC. I personally gave it an 8 when in voting. Here are the reasons why.

I think there needs to be a little more expression in your models eyes. Right now they are just black holes. A little dodging and burning in post processing would have helped here.

If you are going to go to this extreme with a man in make up , it needs to be totally perfect. The stubble n the upper lip throws this shot off as it is all different lengths. The hat is tilted, it may not seem like a big thing, but it throws the shot off adn makes it appear like your horizon is off, which will get you voted down as well.

the white shirt that is showing is off from the rest of the shot with the black, it either needs to be all black or an even white undershirt.

your horizon is also tilted with the shoulders, this could explain the hat as well .\

With a make up artist at hand, and the affect that you where going for, which was Clock Work Orange, you really need to make it work, and go almost overboard. Because as of right now, your colours are washed out. I presumes that you want the focus on the eyes and the smoke, then pop those eyes, pop that smoke, use dodge and burn.

Your sharpness and clarity is amazing,

Well done on this shot

Clockwork Redux
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by colorcarnival:
Freaky bizarre. Love the smoke. The eye lashes really capture your attention.

Swell
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by JulietNN:
Hi from the Critique Club,

You asked for your shot to have an in depth comment from a member of the Critique Club.

Lovely shot and the rule of thirds is bang on.

I think what is hurting this shot is the colour cast that you used. The sea probably is that colour from all the sand being churned up from the hurricane, but most people expect to see a lovely blue colour, I am loving the sepia tone of the water, reminds me of England.

So I think that having some blue would have helped here, so leaving the sky blue or going completely different and having this as a black and white would have helped.

Maybe a touch of contrast would have helped as well, you have very dramtic white horses (swell) going on and playing around with the selective colors would have brought out depth in them.

Great shot

Clockwork Redux
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by bvy:
Not sure what to make of this. The title made me chuckle anyway.

Clockwork Redux
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by kandykarml:
I never look at the title of the image until I vote, and I immediately thought of Clockwork..

Clockwork Redux
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by mgsmith53:
The smoke is too much. A smaller puff, moving away from the eyes, not right in them.

Swell
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by DCNUTTER:
Great shot...perfect third, and I like the sepia tones that really focus the attention on the surfer. Nice job! 8

Swell
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by el3radii:
nice shot i think the picture with white balane and making the water blue will be better 6

Fourth of July Sky
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by macrothing:


Critique Club Critique

First Impressions
Nice colors and long exposure effect. I gave this a 6 in voting.

Photograph Information, Technicals & Composition Review
I wonder whether a little deeper DOF would have allowed more detail in the water and fore rocks to come into play. Compositionally it is quite sound, although the unlevel horizon bothers me slightly, which I imagine a perspective correction or even 'straightening' would fix. The flag is an interesting element, but seems a bit out of place composed within the frame as is.

The colors are good in the sky and on the water, but there seems a slight cast on the fore rocks, but could be enhanced by the sunset glow and the color of the rocks themself, either way, I wonder about tweaking them a fraction in pp to lessen the.. magenta (not sure).

Comments, Score & Placement Review
154/419 and a score of 5.84 is decent in a Free Study.

An average of 6.5 from your commenters seems like some honest voting that matches some of their comments. I agree with the placement of the horizon and also wonder about a variation of that to showcase other elements of the image, however it does still work as is.

Summary
Some tweaking in pp to adjust the color and some slight perspective correction would likely have produced a stronger image. Whether a variation in crop would enhance the image, I'm doubtful - I think it would just produce 'another' image, showcasing the top or bottom part of the image, which both have their own unique elements.

Fourth of July Sky
by Pipe_Dream

Comment by bvy:
Nice -- maybe a bit oversaturated.