Tree of lifeby
olbolComment by theSaj: ::: Critique Club ::: [The Saj]
First Impressions: At first I liked this photo but something gnawed at me and it did not come across quite as pleasing as I would have figured it to be. And I scored it a little low. Perhaps lower than I should (In general, I seemed to have been a little more critical in my Shapes II scoring than average. That said.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Composition: The composition avails itself to an almost abstract manner that would be very appealing in a painting; but I am not so sure about it's use in this photo is fully affective.
The capture of the breast itself is very pleasant. But my eye keeps drifting and being lost when it looks at the rest of the composition and I believe this is in part what most hurt this photograph's score.
Subject: Superb.... the subject is a thing of beauty. Your girlfriend's areola stands out strongly and the nipple is well defined lending to a very good model for a breast shot.
Technical (Colour, focus, and light): The sharpness and focus of this shot is quite nice. I found the lighting and shadowing to provide an excellent accent. The color tones are especially appealing IMHO, but also very subject to personal taste.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Summary: There is a lot of potential with regards to the photographer's skill's and his particular choice of model for this shot. However, certain aspects of the composition throw the feel of the image off. A lot of potential. I gave it a (4) when I voted and I was in a critical mood. I think it was only a few points aspects of composition that kept me from giving this photo a 6 or maybe even a 7.
To improve?:
I believe that in part what is happening is that we are losing a bit of the definition of the human form with this composition. The breast is an obvious sign of the human form, however, the way the rest of the body is captured provides little definition. Perhaps an arm coming across the belly or zooming out in order to widen the shot may resolve this. Another alternative might be to change to a landscape shot and move up a couple of inches to capture some of the collar bone region as well.
Also, there is a lateral line showing in the photo, it creates a visual border about an inch from the left side of the photo. This also added a distracting element.
If these items were addressed I believe this photo would be on it's way to excellency. The lighting, the capture of the details of the breast, are all wonderfully executed.
It looks like you still have some time to do additional shooting with this model while she is pregnant and I highly encourage you to do so. You've got very good grasp on the lighting and capture and a wonderful model.
BTW.... Pozdravleneeya
Supposed to be "Congratulations" but my Russian is ochin plocha!
Keep warm....I hear it's beyond freezing in Moscow right now.
------------------------------------------------------------
It is my hope that these insights are helpful, and constructive. If you have any questions regarding this critique, please feel free to PM me.
- Jason "The Saj"
Message edited by author 2006-01-18 12:42:06. 
Photographer found comment helpful.