Peek-a-boo. Aisle of You!by
IndigoButterflyComment by KiwiShotz: ::: Critique Club :::
Hi Tilly, my first critique of Visual Puns, a challenge I think that has stood out for its quality and humour against almost all others since I've been on DPC
First Impression - the most important one:
I was stopped by this image as opposed to 80% which are easy to pass by. That is a quality first off that makes it an important entry. The flower and the hidden face are the two elements that get your attention initially. That I didn't notice or care what the foreground was means that I have been drawn into the image. I wasn't wowed by I but wanted to investigate. Good start.
Composition:
I find this an interesting composition because the boy and flower being the Points Of Interest are nicely placed yet there are all these chair bits in the foreground. That they don't interfere had me exploring further to determine why. The answer is that they provide leading lines to the boy and flower. Because they do that they add to the image rather than detract from it.
Subject:
As I said in first impressions, this is one of those images that draws you into it. It requires you to study it a little. I think the obscured face is part of that curiosity. The de-saturation and the luminous flower really make this a different image.
The partly obscured face? I like it. I like the mystery of what you don't see. I like the subtlety of it. I like the way it forces you to peer at the image to see whats going on back there. Having said that, clearly it may have cost you votes - I just don't happen to think that votes are everything. Vote catching can get in the way of a very good image.
Apart from my comments below in
Scoring Better about the pun, I'm really surprised this didn't make 5. As I said above, this challenge was an uncommonly quality one with a really tough field so dont' be too downheartened by the score on a photographic level.
Technical (Colour and light):
I like the de-sat and coloured flower, they 'ping' but I'm puzzled. There's a lot of voter comments about a) The grainyness and b) the flower being blown out. I have to confess that i can find neither. The wall behind the boy is textured as is his sweatshirt but in studying the wood of the chairs, the trouser fabric and the chair fabric I can see no grain or noise at all. Similarly with the flower it's possible to see every petal and the detail in every petal.
All is not roses though. You do have focus issues. The boy and the flower appear to be OOF whilst the wall is crystal sharp. Sometimes (if your camera allows) you have to go to manual focus.
To grow its vote?:
I really really didn't get the pun - at all. I think this is where you have been marked down. My partner finally got the "I Love You" connection but even then I couldn't see where the "Aisle" was and "Peek-a-Boo" completely stumped me so sorry, a bit of a bust there.
Summary:
I applaud the effort and the risks you took to do this. Looking for new angles, looking for new techniques, pushing the boundaries are just terrific things to be doing. You say in your profile that's why you're here ... Go Girl!
Brett
Photographer found comment helpful.
