"Take the A Train"by
GolferDDSComment by emorgan49: Hello from the Critique Club -
This photo didn't do very well in the ratings did it? I gave it a six because it met the challenge and was a little better than average. Technically it is pretty well done. The focus is good, the suitcase and the guy being sharp and the back wall almost sharp. The lighting is good being a greyish day. I think the colors look a bit washed out. I would have fiddled with it a bit in post processing.
However the composition leaves a lot to be desired. I think this picture would have benefitted from the rule of thirds. If the guy had been over to the right, looking down the tracks, more of the tracks showing might have improves the idea of the endless wait for the train to come. The central focus of the shot, the place where the viewers eye ends up is that big black blob of a suitcase. While it adds to the story (big bag, stuffed, probably long trip, maybe somewhere interesting) it is not very interesting visually. The bag is too black and too big, it unbalances the scene.
The composituional lines here are pretty basic, maybe too baix to be interesting. The figure is right in the middle making a strong upright, The train tracks are straight across (well, a little bit diagonal) and also centered. The exact center of the picture is the mans hand holding his suitcase with a handerchief, why the handkerchief? it is distracting. There is nothing in three of the rule of thirds points and the suitcase in the fourth. With all those straight lines, the barrel distortion from the lens bothers me. I do like the repeat of the yellow stripe top and bottom. The signs on the wall, the lamp post and the strair railing all seem to be cluttter. Also the way the railing grows out of his back emphasizes his poor posture.
Wait - It's not a total loss. The main elements here are striking and worth noting. The station, the packed bag, the intent look on the mans face, the way he looks down the tracks and the tracks themselves are all worthy parts of the picture. What to do? Hmmm.... get the empahais on the guy. Move him off center. Move the bag. Lose the hankie. Maybe try a landscape view so there are more tracks to look down? Pay more attention to the junk in the background, like move so the stairs are in a different place. And jazz up the color in post processing. You've got the yellow lines, they work. You've fgot the blue signs, maybe they could be balanced by a blue luggage tag, or even a red one. Leave the guy grey, like the day and the stones and the station. He works well like that, any color on him would be a distraction.
Please remember that this is just one opinion, mine, and I am far from an expert.
Photographer found comment helpful.
