The Returnby
electrolostComment by KaDi: Greetings from the Critique Club!
Thank you for leaving such detailed comments on your image. I enjoyed the story of how you came to make this photo. I have read the comments left during the challenge as well as the discussion in the thread
//www.dpchallenge.com/forum.php?action=read&FORUM_THREAD_ID=657696 you started.
Though I didn't vote in the challenge, this image is one of the few I happened to see while browsing the entries. My first reaction was, like many of those who commented, what is it? The title definitely helped me look for the subject. Because the head is blurred it took a little effort to discover the deer. I think some of your other versions are easier to interpret.
Such as this one, for example.
Once the subject was discovered I wondered what you were trying to say. It is about death and decay. It's an unusual find. It reminds me of those French cave paintings in its pose and earthy tones but doesn't quite have the same graphic qualities (those are more apparent in the high-contrast version). Nonetheless, I'm seeing something new to me. I've seen plenty of road-kill, mostly bloated does with their tongues sticking out beside the road. Here a younger deer relatively uneaten by scavengers with clearly recognizable hoofs and head.
I like the sepia toning. I think it does what you intended emphasizing the relation of animal and earth. But I don't think the blur effect works toward helping the viewer understand the subject better. The composition feels off to me. I would like to see the rest of the front leg and perhaps a slightly different angle on the subject. Perhaps if the image had been taken a step to the right the head would be better defined and the focus would not be on the rise of the belly where my attention is continuously drawn because that's where the contrast and sharpness are placed.
The story you tell about the deer is probably more compelling than the image. In this type of forum (i.e. DPC challenges) the image must do the work alone with perhaps a little help from the title. When you combined the word story and the image the statement grew stronger. I can now imagine the horror of discovery, the fear of ending up like the fawn, the tragic sense of your situation...but not from the photo alone.
Here is a famous poem that your story and image made me recall:
Traveling through the Dark
--William Stafford
Traveling through the dark I found a deer
dead on the edge of the Wilson River road.
It is usually best to roll them into the canyon:
that road is narrow; to swerve might make more dead.
By glow of the tail-light I stumbled back of the car
and stood by the heap, a doe, a recent killing;
she had stiffened already, almost cold.
I dragged her off; she was large in the belly.
My fingers touching her side brought me the reason--
her side was warm; her fawn lay there waiting,
alive, still, never to be born.
Beside that mountain road I hesitated.
The car aimed ahead its lowered parking lights;
under the hood purred the steady engine,
I stood in the glare of the warm exhaust turning red;
around our group I could hear the wilderness listen.
I thought hard for us all--my only swerving--,
then pushed her over the edge into the river.
I hope you don't mind this unusual "critique" of your image. I believe that no subject should be "off-limits" in poetry or art but the artist doesn't always know what they're saying until it is received by the listener. I hope you'll keep pushing the limits and create more provocative work. Keep shooting!
edit for the inevitable typoMessage edited by author 2007-08-14 09:26:47. 
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