Please God, let this be the one!by
magicshutterComment by e301: from the Critique Club
I think you were really quite close to nailing the challenge with this - it's amazing how far down the list a few small faults will put some shots.
As a subject for the challenge this is entirely suitable, and the pose is interesting - apart from a couple of things, I like the idea. Lighting and most of the technical stuff is OK.
I'm no portraitist, but I would suggest that the unflattering nature of the head position has hurt your score, as has the angle of the eyes - difficult to communicate hope without visible eyes, and a downcast gaze is often more suggestive of concentration, or demureness, generally interior emotions, than of some outside expectation.
Compositionally the curve created by the arms and hands and test thing, together with the placement of the head in frame, is strong and effective, though I'm not certain the cropping out the remainder of that arm was a good idea. It allows the attention to move between the test and the face, which is what you'd want from this shot.
Skin tones are good. The light is perhaps a bit too general, and from an odd direction - emphasisiing the ridge of the brows and above the nose, again unflattering. There is good texture on the side of the face, but that brings us back to the unflattering head position again.
I would really really like for her to have been wearing a colour other than black - not necessarily a bright colour, but something that would have helped the tonality of the shot still further: it's one of the strong points here, and you could have made more of it with a rich-coloured shirt or top.
An average score? In the end I think yes, deserved - there's just enough things to find fault with, and not enough to nail the audience. I also wonder if it isn't too personal to take an effective dpc shot of - it has to be remembered that this isn't everyone's experience by any means, and when that is something that is so obviously very important to you yourself, it can be tricky not to be simply influenced by your won memories and emotions. The art of triggering emotions in others can be a very cold one, I think.
all the best with future challenges
Ed
Photographer found comment helpful.
