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 07/17/2004 03:23:55 PM · #1
//www.andrew-west.com/site/3.html

I'm starting a site on writing articles on things I see asked on the web, and this one was purely demo as I'm trying to find out what I should change about my writing skills. Please point out anything you see that you would change or do differently about the way I approach my writing.

07/17/2004 03:28:11 PM · #2
It doesn't really relate to your writing, but your article text continues off the right hand side of the browser page and there's no way to scroll over to read it.
 07/17/2004 03:33:38 PM · #3
Originally posted by SoCal69:
It doesn't really relate to your writing, but your article text continues off the right hand side of the browser page and there's no way to scroll over to read it.


Andrew, I'd be happy to read it also, but I am having the same problem. You are one very enterprising man! Let us know when it's "fixed" and then I will go back.
 07/17/2004 04:06:24 PM · #4
I just realized this! o-O It's an internet explorer issue. I think it's fixed now though.
 07/17/2004 05:58:08 PM · #5
The site appears to be fixed; at least I can read your article. I disagree with many of its points, but you are asking for comments on your writing skills, not your opinions.

I found the comment "File proofread and spelling checked by M-W.com" rather interesting. The article has numerous spelling and grammar errors, so whoever proofread it didn't do a very good job. It's often difficult to catch mistakes in your own writing; you are just too close to it. You may want to find another writer and work out an arrangement to proofread each other's work. But good spelling and grammar are essential for credible writing. Do whatever you need to get it right--even if you have to hire a copy editor.

This is a "how-to" article, and short, direct sentences are most effective in this genre. Save long, elaborate sentences for your poetry, where you want to build up a complex image layer by layer. Give lots of good examples that clarify and reinforce your instructions. And avoid using the passive voice; it gives your writing a stilted feeling that is inconsistent with your informal style.

For example, consider your first sentence. It is very complex and uses 36 words to say "Decide how you want your incipient poem to affect your audience." And while this is an important point, effective articles usually start by telling the reader why you are writing the article and why he or she should read it.
 07/17/2004 05:59:35 PM · #6
I reached the maximum size of a post, so am putting my final comment in a separate reply.

Please don't let me discourage you. You are just starting out and need experience. The best way to improve your writing is the same as improving your photography: practice and experiment. Good luck!
 07/17/2004 06:18:07 PM · #7
Dr. Rick,

Thanks. Please remember that this article was merely example so nothing in it I agree or disagree with I just spouted off at the top of my head.

- I found the comment "File proofread and spelling checked by M-W.com" -

Purely example, was definately not proofread as it reads. I agree though that grammar is essential, and I plan to read my stuff on the "actual" articles.

This is a "how-to" article, and short, direct sentences are most effective in this genre. Save long, elaborate sentences for your poetry, where you want to build up a complex image layer by layer. Give lots of good examples that clarify and reinforce your instructions. And avoid using the passive voice; it gives your writing a stilted feeling that is inconsistent with your informal style.

Thanks, I'll definately keep this in mind. :)

Please don't let me discourage you. You are just starting out and need experience. The best way to improve your writing is the same as improving your photography: practice and experiment. Good luck!

I definatley won't. It helps me to see what others think. You can't get help if you don't know how to take criticism. :)
 07/17/2004 09:07:44 PM · #8
Go out and purchase a copy of Elements of Style, Fourth Edition by William Strunk Jr., E.B. White, and Roger Angell. It is an updated version of Elements of Style written in 1918 by William Strunk Jr. Check out Bartleby for a free online version of the 1918 original, but the fourth edition is definitely worth picking up because it deals with common modern grammatical and syntactical mistakes.

Now that you've skimmed over the above paragraph, go out and purchase a copy of Elements of Style, Fourth Edition by William Strunk Jr., E.B. White, and Roger Angell. Did I mention that you should purchase Elements of Style?

I consider that book the de facto standard in writing guides and, at only 105 pages, it's a light one evening read that will instantly improve anyone's writing style. Once you've read the book cover to cover two or three times, start using it as a reference guide while writing. After a few months of constantly referring to a dog-eared copy of the book, the methods contained therein will become second nature.

I firmly believe that if every high school student were handed a copy of Elements of Style on the first day of school there would be absolutely no excuse for failing English.
 07/18/2004 07:22:21 AM · #9
Originally posted by Trunkmonkey:
I firmly believe that if every high school student were handed a copy of Elements of Style on the first day of school there would be absolutely no excuse for failing English.

That's an extremely strong statement. What about students who's native language is non-English? Hell, I've been speaking English for 25 years and still have trouble speaking and writing it.

Maybe I should look into that book. Then next on my shopping list is to find the Japanese equivalent.
 07/18/2004 11:04:46 AM · #10
Originally posted by Bran-O-Rama:
That's an extremely strong statement. What about students who's native language is non-English? Hell, I've been speaking English for 25 years and still have trouble speaking and writing it.


You've got a point, so let's redirect my statement towards English natives. The book basically condenses every English textbook I've ever read into a single lightweight overview, and was originally written by an English professor to hand out to his students as the "if you make these mistakes, I will fail you" manual.
 07/18/2004 01:17:14 PM · #11
I would have also recommended The Chicago Style Manual, until they changed the title to The Chicago Manual of Style. Arghhh!

Or, you can get the CIA Style Manual for about $30 at eBay.
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