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08/08/2011 12:07:52 AM · #101
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If going to evil place, will need special ekwipt eqkipment eyqip things. Grog have handbasket to loan for taking journey in. (Is very large handbasket, custom made for Grog.)

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Grog know how to raise strong youngling. Start youngling off eating paper. When get to toddler, graduate to chew tree branch. Teen youngling get soft rocks. Grow up tough and great, like Grog.

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Grog hunts bokeh. Grog say be quiet, do not scare away prey or tribe has no dinner.

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Grog make offering to god of hunt. Hunt good today, Grog bring home many mice for tribe. Females not like small rodent, hard to skin and remove bones. Grog appreciate all that hunt god do, but Grog must find different hunt god for mammoth.

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Grog haggle with old man. Trade female for strong horse. Grog say he drive hard bargain and was Grog's favorite female. Grog lie. Man lie too. Horse not strong at all, but good meat and provide more meals for tribe than lazy female that not want to cook.

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Grog visits Uggggg in far off land of Bahston. Grog is great and strong, but is still too far to walk, so Grog take speedy metal dragon like ones-that-are-not-as-great-as-Grog often do. Why do all get off when Grog get on?

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Grog invent new popular sport. Call game "Grogball". Only rule is Grog make up rules. Grog make new rule say when other tribe catch ball, kaptan of tribe must hit head against ground until hurt. Kaptan of other tribe thinks kaptan is smart and wear helmet, but Grog is smarter. Grog make new rule say helmet not allowed. Other tribe in violashun of rule and diskwalifyd from game. Tribe of Grog win again!! Grog is grate sportsman.

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Is time for Grog's annual bath, but this give Grog grate thought. Grog take shower this year instead.

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Grog LOVE rock music! Grog love anything with rocks.

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Grog find way to get little lizards to fight and kill each other. Proof of concept good, now Grog work on scaling up to get tyranesaur taran terrenas T-Rex to fight and kill each other. Make safer home for females and younglings.

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Grog discover fire. (Is right here in picture!)

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Grog take Thag swimming at river. Thag excited and jump into water. Grog wait patiently. Thag still not come up. Grog is concerned, but Grog made sure Thag would be safe, even tie heavy rock to Thag's foot so Thag not drift away down river.

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Grog sends rescue team to search for Thag in river.
09/08/2011 12:33:12 AM · #102
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Hunt was good this season. Tribe is well fed and happy. Time for celebrashun and fun. Grog play fun new game with tribe. Is called "Whack a mole".

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Grog agree. Tribe of Grog feast on mutton tonight. Life is very good when bellies are full, younglings are quiet and females are pleased with Grog.

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Grog is sorry to cause cogessthun conjeshs cun crowd. Many females hear of greatness of Grog, want to be Grog's females and bear Grog's younglings. Cause many females to fight. But Grog have solution. Grog start reality show to choose new mates.

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Female is thinking how wonderful would be to be Grog's female. Female apply online at ayche tee tee pee, colin line line wu wu wu grogsfemales.grogblog.com

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Grog is great hunter and provider for tribe. Bring home much mammoth meat this season. Grog is such great provider that Grog's females get comfortable and lazy. Grog invent wheel, then Grog make even greater invention of bicycle, and send females out for exercise. Females ride 2 laps around Starbucks and stop to talk. Grog gives up.

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Tribe of Grog hunt for long time and travel far from home. Grog find warning at cave entrance. Hiroglif hyro heiroglyf sign warns of terrible sharp-toothed beast within. Beast will eat tasty top parts (like brain and heart of Grog), but leave smelly lower parts for birds-who-eat-leftovers. Is not pleasant fate. But Grog is not afraid. Grog is grate fiter. Grog is brave. Grog is strong. Grog also smart. Grog send Thag into cave first.
10/08/2011 12:42:10 AM · #103
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Female of Grog make terrible misteak and serve white wine with mammoth. Even Thag knows should only serve red wine with mammoth steak. Female embarrass in front of entire tribe, but Grog is kind and pretend to not notice misteak.

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Is sad day for female. Will never know grateness of being female of Grog.

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Grog meet talking goat on mountain. Is magikal, wonderus beast. Goat say "Hi" to Grog. Grog say "Lo" to dinner.

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Grog know to stay upwind when Thag have gas.

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Grog invent fire. Is intelektual propurti of Grog. Cannot use without making pay to Grogcorp. Grog send suit-of-laws to demand license fee. 10 animal pelts or Grog send Thag (before Thag has annual bath) to "negoshiate".

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Grog eat wild mushroom on hunt. Tasty, but Grog think was mistake. Grog's inside hurt and Grog have bad dream. Grog dream that Grog only have one female, dull work sitting in place of many cubes, and younglings what argue and not appreesheate grateness of Grog. Is terribul fate. Grog glad is only dream.
11/08/2011 12:25:39 AM · #104
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Females complain that Grog not best leader for tribe. Females not know anything, but hold much power of body over Grog. Grog humor females and hold "election". Grog run against Urg, from cave next door. Grog is smart and knows of trick to win favor in election, called "slinging of mud". Grog win election and females stop sound of nagging.

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Grog get round and heavy. No feel good, cannot chase fast meaty animals like when Grog was youngling. Wise one say Grog need to eat better. More green things, less fatty mammoth. Bah! Grog is grate hunter and fighter, eating of tender plants embarrasses Grog. But Grog has grate plan. Grog hunt Brok-olee beast with spear. Fight to death, then eat. Grog is still grate hunter.

...brok-olee taste like weeds that grow outside cave. Pthew!

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Old wise one keep lookout to west for hunting party of Grog to return with food for tribe. Wise one has waited many days. Grog still mad for wise one making Grog eat brok-olee instead of warrior meal of mammoth. Hunting party sneak in from east two sun cycles past. Hehe. Wise one not really so smart.

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Grog must remember to discuss dandruff problem with Thag...

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Grog welcomes new female to tribe of Grog. Female have speshal kualities, will bear Grog many strong younglings that learn to read early. But bright shiny hair could make problem for male youngling hunting and fighting.

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Grog and Thag go fishing in lake. Ooga say have fun, but not understand why fishing so grate. Grog not tell.
11/08/2011 01:38:50 AM · #105
Guurl goofa gufah gooffaw laf a lot.
11/08/2011 09:34:49 AM · #106
Grog forget one. Grog adds to thread and give bump.

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Thag say Grog stoopid and not understand tekknow tekknologi teken machines that younglings use. Grog shows that Grog know how to write shiny tablet of knowledge. Grog writes tale of grateness and battles won.
12/08/2011 12:38:46 AM · #107
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Hunt was poor. Only small, lean beast for tribe tonight. Grog finds good recipe in book, but not know what "filet" mean to do.

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Be vewwwwyyy, vewwwwwyyy quiet... Gwog is hunting.

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Grog have worst hunt in many sun cycles.

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New female join tribe of Grog. Female look like drawing of fertility goddess on cave wall. Thag and Kron very jealous. Grog is pleased.

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Grog fells mightiest tree in forest, does not use axe. Grog uses sharp wit to fell tree, but female says is Grog's grate odor. Grog not smell anything...

12/08/2011 07:31:36 AM · #108
lol Grogg is great
01/08/2012 12:18:41 AM · #109
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Is impression left from mighty head of Grog.

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Hunting party of Grog freezing far from cave. Tribe is hungry, but no mammoth found. Thag strips tree to make famous tree bark casserole. Grog hungry, but not THAT hungry.

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Hunt was poor this year and hunting party of Grog has wandered too far from cave this time.

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Grog has grate idea. Grog train younglings to attack enemy tribe when sleeping. Youngling practice deadly back blow on Thag.

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THIS why Grog NEVER take females on hunt!!! Tribe go hungry again...
01/08/2012 09:47:08 AM · #110
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:



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THIS why Grog NEVER take females on hunt!!! Tribe go hungry again...


Grog no apreeeshiate good watch duck! Duck make noise -- duck warn Grog!
01/08/2012 09:59:10 AM · #111
Originally posted by vawendy:

Grog no apreeeshiate good watch duck! Duck make noise -- duck warn Grog!

Grog apreeeshiate duck in belly of Grog.
02/08/2012 12:24:51 AM · #112
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Ledge is special place in cave of Grog, reserved for gratest hunting trophy ever:
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Grog lost in desert at night. Grog should have listened to female and asked directions.

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Is trophy case of Grog. Contains skulls of slain enemies. Grog must remember to clean glass.

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Tribe of Grog has beach barbecue for celebrating of good hunt this season. Thag has job of cleanup. Thag not do good job, leaves bones on beach. *sigh* If Grog want thing done right, then Grog must do by Grogself.

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Grog praktices gud hyjeen hijin hijean cleanness and takes annual bath whether Grog needs or not.

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Thag stay out of water and wait patient for Eeepeeay after annual bath of Grog.

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Is Grog's "Fortris uv Solitud". Is quiet place to reflect on Grog's grateness. Grog decorate with faverit weapons and heads of slain enemies, but female not like. Ooga remove trophies of battle and make with lacy things and cozy lighting. New dekor work nicely, but Grog really hate when female is right.

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Among meny akomplishments of Grog, Grog has sired and raised many younglings, so Grog give good Grogly advice. Grog suggest way to handle spoiled youngling of tantrum: use TWO "rocks of disipline". Youngling never embarrass elders in front of tribe again. Of course, this just theory of Grog's, because all Grog's younglings always perfect behaved. Let Grog know if suggestion work.
02/08/2012 06:35:13 AM · #113
wow... quite the trophy! You bagged one of those? Grog is truly a great hunter!
02/08/2012 08:42:39 AM · #114
Originally posted by vawendy:

wow... quite the trophy! You bagged one of those? Grog is truly a great hunter!

Was hard for grog to catch. Very slippy.
02/24/2012 12:03:06 AM · #115
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Hunt is good, Grog will need more spears and larger fire pit.

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At 16 cycles, all males in tribe of Grog partake of great challunge to prove braveness. First part of challunge is to defeat hungry sharptooth tyger with only feather for weapon. (Grog tell you seekret is to find tickel spot beneath chin, but don't tell youngling.) Second part of challenge is hard. Youngling must find gurl in tribe of widest hip and biggest breast and ask for date. If gurl aksepts, then must meet parunts. Few survive.

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Hunt was good for tribe of Grog. Females are full and fat, younglings have much to grow strong. Grog have delishus mammoth rib for dinner. Kitteh look at Grog with big sorree eyes and ask for leftovers.

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Hunting party of Grog has returned to tribe with large mammoth and numeris numur noomeris many small skwurels. Younglings perform dance-of-plenty to celebrate. But little Urka not want roast mammoth. Only eat chiken nugsits. Grog know how to get youngling to eat. Grog tell Urka that skwurel meat is just furry run-fast chiken.

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Grog place personal ad on Thagslist:
Handsum Cro-magnon seeks female of wide hip and big breast. Must enjoy long walks in desurt. Neanderthal female need not respond.

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After big hunt, Grog has night on town with Thag and Ugggg. Female greets Grog at cave entrance. Grog has forgetted female's day-of-borning. Grog sleep in hollow log tonight. Is quite cozy actually.

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Grog appreeshiates eating stile of hunter-named-carl. No hassle uv fire-making or ashes for female to clean up later. Grog has tried same, but get stepped on by mammoth after first bite.

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Irkaaa is most beautifullest female in Tribe of Grog. Very desirable, will make many strong younglings. Grog have many other females alredy, so Grog be generus. Uggg may have Irkaaa. Uggg not need to thank Grog, look on Uggg's face is enough thanking.
02/24/2012 11:05:41 AM · #116
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:


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Irkaaa is most beautifullest female in Tribe of Grog. Very desirable, will make many strong younglings. Grog have many other females alredy, so Grog be generus. Uggg may have Irkaaa. Uggg not need to thank Grog, look on Uggg's face is enough thanking.


Uggg thanks Grog anyway. As man named after Red-colored Fox once say "Take ugly woman as mate - then you will be happy when she she leaves you for a better hunter"
02/24/2012 01:09:41 PM · #117
Originally posted by vawendy:

Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:



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THIS why Grog NEVER take females on hunt!!! Tribe go hungry again...


Grog no apreeeshiate good watch duck! Duck make noise -- duck warn Grog!


LOL! Guurl just happy Grog notice her duck.

Great hunter Carl sends condalinses condolinsys candolensis is sorry mammoth step on Grog
03/05/2012 12:21:01 AM · #118
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Grog is grate acter. Stars in big Hollyrock moving pichtur show. Grog is very populer. Many females want to bear younglings for Grog. Natshinal Enkwirer prints many lies about Grog.

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Grog are handsum and dashing. Many want to take images of Grog with magic pikcher box. Grog must hide from paperatsee pappa paperatz eager fans. This look like good bush to hide behind. Oh, mammoth crap, too late!
03/08/2012 12:06:13 AM · #119
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Grog out late with Thag, Kron & Ugggg celebrating hunt. Grog forget favorite female's day-of-borning. Grog asks Guurl for advising of how to make female un-mad at Grog. Guurl say for Grog to bring flowers. Make no sense to Grog. Flowers not praktikkal like fire stick or sharp new weapon. Grog find empty container from drinking and pick flowers from tree on way back to cave. Female still mad...

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Ice age almost over, Grog can take off extra mammoth furs now.

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Females of Grog are of happiness when talking on magic voice box. Piktcher show female of Grog talking to female of Thag of important things like trade recipe for mammoth cutlet with spring vegetables, or how is grate to be female of Grog.

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Grog discovers agriculchur agrekulc aggie culture raising animals for food instead of hunting. Grog gets fat and lazy. Females complain that Grog is already Grate, but too much of grateness makes Grog slow and un-fun after dark. Grog invents wheel and then invents fast thing on wheels to get unfat.
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Is all history youngling needs to know.
03/09/2012 12:18:39 AM · #120
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All know that Grog like female wide of hip and big of breast. Is desyrabel female. Grog adds to list however. All females of Grog must also be un-ugly. Grog thanks you for submitting applikashun.

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Grog cave-trains new pet. Is not learning.
03/09/2012 12:41:51 AM · #121
Time for a "In the Style of: Grog" challenge?? Title of image must be written in "grog speak"? lol
03/09/2012 08:52:40 AM · #122
Originally posted by hmbutler:

Time for a "In the Style of: Grog" challenge?? Title of image must be written in "grog speak"? lol

Female flatters Grog. Flattering of Grog is hard to do because Grog is so grate.
03/09/2012 12:08:58 PM · #123
Grog forgets image. Grog fixes ovursite.

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Lizard-of-burning-breath is good friend of Grog. Is giving high five before step out on town for evening. (Well, Grog step out on town, Lizard step on town.)
04/12/2012 09:06:54 AM · #124
Grog busy riding fast rolly thing in mountains last week, so Grog not vote or comment on study-that-is-free challunge. Grog is sorry, but Grog does have comment for adding to grate thread:

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Thag make suggestion for hunt. Thag idea inspired by fishing-men-with-nets. Thag say put wall in front of migrashun path of tasty birds. Bird run into wall, tribe eat well. Grog say is bad idea and Thag stupid, birds will fly over wall. Grog learn some birds stupider than Thag.
04/12/2012 12:18:04 PM · #125
I love the grogg chronicles
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