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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> The chronicles of Grog
Showing posts 26 - 50 of 277, (reverse)
05/08/2010 01:27:10 AM · #26
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Has been longtime, but Grog is pleased to see hometown again. How is old man Oog doing? And Looga? At 18 sun cycles Looga still had most of teeth left. Very beautiful. Many wanted her. Grog remembers well.

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Grog will take female. Can feed many of Grog's offspring. Female will be happy to belong to Grog.

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Fearsome predator. Grog respects and brings offering of tuna and squeaky toy. (Grog hate tuna, hard to open metal box with spear. Might try rock next time.)

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Grog not understand. Everytime Grog throws bones of slain enemies in air, bones turn to flying things. Grog think Grog need therapy.

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Grog believe. Attack goat welcome in Grog's cave. Grog need vicious attack goat to guard females and offspring against enemy tribe when Grog hunting. Guard against friends also. (Thag try to steal Redhair-Bigeyes when Grog is not looking.)

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Grog weary from hunt. Grog took yearly bath in cool lake. Killed fish and frogs. Grog is mighty in many ways.
05/08/2010 10:34:55 AM · #27
Grog is great! Love Grog's "insight" and vast vocabulary!
Looking forward to more!

Love the Three Dead Trolls in a baggie bit, too!

Message edited by author 2010-05-08 10:36:37.
05/12/2010 12:33:10 AM · #28
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Grog laughs! Fighting with soft pillows on hands is not fight at all. How you kill enemy with soft hand-pillows? Should use clubs, like real warriors. Winner takes all of losers females. That is real fight for real warriors, with real reward. (OK, Grog admits that sometimes extra females can be punishment...)

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Grog need new club. You give Grog early birthday present. Grog thanks you. (Will hang old club on cave wall, has much sentimental value to Grog.)

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Grog has found new club for his female! Will make best birthday gift. Grog is bad gift picker, usually gets "the look" from female. This year different. Grog thanks you for good idea!

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Grog research family tree. Grog learn of great, great, great great uncle Ooog. Very famous. Discovered how to cook meat. Is now mascot for fast food chain.
05/19/2010 01:19:13 AM · #29
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Grog see very handsome subject while voting. Grog's female would like. 10 Grog would vote, but Grog is biased, so not vote. Grog is great fair-voter. You check helpful box or Grog leave toilet seat up in dark of night.

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Grog did not give Redhair-Bigeyes permission to leave cave! Grog is softy, too easy going. Bah! Grog go complain in scores thread.

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Grog need new cave. Grog have many females and offspring, old cave too small. Real estate female show Grog new cave. Very comfortable and attractive decor.
05/19/2010 01:23:17 AM · #30
man i got TWO shots in the Grog thread! I am both honored and insulted at the same time...Gratitude fills my body and exudes out my sphincter....
05/19/2010 03:58:00 AM · #31
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:

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Art see Grog thread first time, but Art too distracted to read any of it.
06/02/2010 02:28:27 PM · #32
OMG! (And that's "Oh My Grog!") A Grog Blog. They have medication for this kind of thing... ;)
06/10/2010 12:51:01 AM · #33
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Yes, Grog believe. Grog is great self-groomer, tells you way to shave. You find sharp rock, flint good. Take fat from mammoth, or other large mammal killed in recent hunt. (Choose fresh one, or females not come near you) You rub mammal fat into beard to soften. Scrape with rock and wash in stream. You now handsome like Grog.

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Grog visit wizened ancient one. Ask to tell future for Grog. She say Grog will be even greater than now. Bah! Ancient one is fake teller-of-future. Easy for all to see that Grog will only be greater!

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Grog intimidated by fearsome look of Snarfles. Snarfles may join grog on next battle with enemy tribe. Must leave best killing for Grog, however.

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Grog pause to reflect at grave of great ancestor, Kaga. Was great maker-of-ideas. Invented idea of clubbing mate before dragging to cave. (Great idea, made mate dragging easier and quieter!) Also invented rock music. Lived long time (27 sun-cycles!)and respected by many. Died while testing idea for shearing mastadon fur while mastodon asleep. Learned that mastodon does not sleep deeply.

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Grog's females will be pleased with Grog for bringing seafood back from hunt. Grog is great provider. Now hold still for Grog and do not snap claws...

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Scene makes Grog homesick...

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Grog busy choosing big rocks to throw. Grog will allow Spiff-person make comment so Grog may get back to work...

A good portrait of anyone else, but this makes you (assuming this is a selfie) look just too damn ordinary. I look forward to seeing something truly insane in the self portrait challenge. Still worth a positive vote, but don't do this to me again. :-b

I see Grog picking out some heavy ones with sharp corners...

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Does boy need summer job? Grog has use for sloppy boy. Will use sloppy boy as bait on hunt. Peanut smell, wiggling and screaming will attract large, meaty (and hungry) prey for hunting party. Grog is great part time employer. You thank Grog for summer job.

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Grog thanks lizard for kind offer to do lunch, but Grog's belly already full from meal of Thag's tree bark casserole. Not one more bite can Grog eat.(*urp*)

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Grog say wrong tool for job. Should use club, like Grog. Club very good for breaking, smashing and persuading.

06/10/2010 01:25:06 AM · #34
Wendy thinks grog is dull. Grog never picks Wendy photo. Wendy thinks grog's female should slap grog upside the head.
06/10/2010 07:53:22 AM · #35
Grog make morning bearable at rock quarry. Kark think Grog make many people smile with deep thoughts. Kark just worried that Grog might hurt limited brain function. If Grog feel head hurt, Grog stick head in cold stream for relief.
06/10/2010 08:22:36 AM · #36
Grog female, Ooga, may help Wendy. Ask nice and maybe she smack Grog for you.
06/10/2010 09:29:18 AM · #37
' . substr('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21.gif', strrpos('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21.gif', '/') + 1) . ' Abra sees no comments from Grog for his artwork which is why he is an atheist. There is no such thing as Grog!
06/10/2010 09:34:05 AM · #38
Originally posted by Abra:

' . substr('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21.gif', strrpos('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21.gif', '/') + 1) . ' Abra sees no comments from Grog for his artwork which is why he is an atheist. There is no such thing as Grog!

Holy crap. Grog just got deified.

Grog needs an altar of sacrifice.
06/10/2010 09:58:44 AM · #39
Abra confused. Grog not dweller-in-sky. No need to believe or not. Grog is just great.
06/10/2010 10:01:27 AM · #40
If Abra not get Grog comment on artwork, then Abra should make great artwork. Then will get Grog comment. Maybe.
06/10/2010 10:25:20 AM · #41
I guess Abra needs to stop trying to shoot for eye candy & produce obscure shots worthy of the great Grog. If this works & results in ribbons then this will covert this lost sole into a believer.
06/10/2010 12:02:11 PM · #42
Krak just back from cave where they serve flat food covered in red fruit sauce with some kind melty stuff made from milk and meat. Other annoying caveman with plastic thing growing out of ear and shiny blinky warbling thing on belt say it called "pizza".

Krak say flat food good, but Krak burned tongue pretty bad:( What do now, Grog?
06/10/2010 12:27:17 PM · #43
Grog laugh at Krak for burning tongue on hot flat thing. Grog know to always test on Thag to see if safe. If Thag get hurt, sick or die, then is not food.
06/10/2010 12:40:25 PM · #44
Krak remember to have hot food tasted by female or offspring next time.

Grog truly wise. Krak draw picture of great Grog on cave wall to look up to.

Krak now go to cool stream and stick tongue in water. Hope no neanderfish bite Krak's tongue.
07/08/2010 12:52:21 AM · #45
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Grog give extra points for evil laugh. Reminds Grog of great uncle Krag. Was worlds first maniacal genius. Captured most fertile female in tribe and tied to stake to feed Tyrannosaur. Laughed all the way, then hid in bushes to watch. But Krag made fatal mistake and forget dinosaurs not live at same time as cro-magnon. Krag get bored hiding in bushes and felled asleep. Was then found and beaten by worlds first superhero. (No, superhero was not Grog, but that is natural assumption because Grog is so great.)

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Grog's eyes burn from fire in sky.

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Grog sees ticket. Is ticket to rock music concert? Grog love rock music! Grog love anything with rocks.

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Grog hunts today. Is dangerous to hunt in jungle. Many fierce animals also hunting Grog. Grog encounter vicious jungle cat today. Good thing Grog pack spare loincloth.

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Grog want to improve scores and needs better magic picture box. Great magic picture box will make Grog great photographer. Grog cannot afford. Cost too many animal pelts. Grog hides in tree near waterfall, waits for ' . substr('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21.gif', strrpos('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21.gif', '/') + 1) . ' DrAchoo. Hehehe. Grog is great hider-in tree.

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Nooooooo!!!!! Great beast eats Grog's younglings and females! Grog will attack with spear! Die, twisted monster!!!

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Bah, Grog not afraid of jungle cat! Grog snarls back!
Worry not, because Grog is great lover of animals. Grog love this one with barbecue sauce.

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Is sad day for Grog. Grog drops bottle of Grog's grog. Grog now grogless. Only drink left in cave is fruity yuppie beverage.

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Grog is great paparazzi. Sees Elvis on cliff. Grog takes image with magic picture box and sell to respected teller-of-news. National Enquirer pays Grog many animal pelts for picture.

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Grog's youngling survive to age of 10 sun-cycles. Grog and favorite female make celebration for youngling. Take to Rock E. Cheese to have fun. Grog like this game, called "Whack-a-Mole". Grog stand over holes with club, but moles not want to play.

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Grog can help find lost cow. Grog see many cows over here.
Grog is great finder-of-beasts. You thank Grog and mark comment helpful, or Grog will send Thag to visit with gift of tree bark casserole.
08/08/2010 01:07:45 AM · #46
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Hunt has been successful! Grog (with small help of Thag and Kron) brings home mammoth for tribe. All tribe celebrates outside cave. Younglings do ancient dance of plenty. Much joy is had. Except for Krag (on left). Krag is picky eater (Krag says he "gormay"). Does not like mammoth meat. Wants quiche and fondue. Grog think Krag is little funny.

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Grog has been on hunt all day. Hot, tired, thirsty. No meaty game is found. Bah! Grog now see fat bird. Come closer to uncle Grog, little birdy!!

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Bah, mess is bad. Grog is great keeper-of-cave, will give advice. You keep cave clean to impress females. Sweep with matted straw and use large bush outside for personal matters. This impress females, but Grog not understand why. Once female bear younglings for you, then you do as wanting again. You thank Grog and offer many faves and comments for him.

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Grog is wakened from pleasant nap by dragon. Was dreaming of many females tending to Grog. Foul monster breaths smoke and screams as flying overhead. Grog not happy. Grog will name dragon "Buff". Grog will capture and tame Buff. Females will be impressed, will want to bear Grog's younglings. Enemy tribe will be scared and pay tribute to Grog. Grog is great tamer-of beasts.

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Good to be Mexican Wolf. Grog is great speaker-of-other-tongues. Grog will talk to beast in Spanish. Hola El wolfo! Esta Susana en casa? Si, en la cocina!
Grog think running other way is good, too.

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Grog knows redecorating of cave is sign of youngling on way. Grog say congratulations.

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Grog see brave warriors ready to battle. Much blood will be shed in dining room today. Grog give you best advice. Warriors not win on bravery alone. Must have large, heavy club and fearsome look in eyes. Menacing snarl good too. Make enemy tribe very afraid. When enemy tribe then go change to clean loincloths, you steal all females from them. Grog is great maker-of-strategy. You will thank Grog and mark comment helpful or Grog give you his female.

Message edited by author 2010-08-08 01:30:33.
08/08/2010 01:22:58 AM · #47
Oh, oh, that's soo good!

Damn Spiffy, you really are a treasure man..
08/08/2010 01:25:17 AM · #48
I love the entire grogg story....only prob, I have not recieved any Grogg comments.
10/16/2010 06:10:04 PM · #49
Grog update thread today.

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Grog hunts today. Finds... mammoth? No fur? Sick animal, no good for feeding Grog's females and younglings.

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Grog rent hip bachelor cave. Many females come to visit Grog here. Is very clean and tidy because new bachelor cave is really in back corner of Ikea™ store. Cleaning female Maria cleans cave every day when Grog is out hunting and fighting and being great.

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Hey! Grog not THAT old!
Fish good when mammoth hunt is bad. Much better than Thag's tree bark casserole. Females and younglings can catch fish, too. Very safe. (Safe for females and younglings, but not for fish.)

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Grog is great maker-of-new-things. Grog invent wheel today.

Grog add: Grog invent wheel yesterday. Invent patent litigation today. Grog sue Ford, Toyota, Firestone and Schwinn. Many animal pelts will be paid to Grog by stealers-of-ideas.

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Grog like Caddolake! Can hunt many fish to feed Grog's females and younglings.

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Grog receive family newsletter for holidays from cousin Grakk. Tells of great happenings in Grakk tribe during past sun cycle. Grakk says he has killed many enemies, and fathered many children this year, all in Grakk tribe are well-adjusted, happy and fat. Grog laughs and forwards to Readers Digest as short fiction.

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Grog see sparks fly, must be true love.
Or... Ooga hit grog in head for looking at other females again.

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Grog is great offerer-of-protection. You call Grog. Get free rate quote.

Message edited by author 2010-10-16 18:11:51.
10/16/2010 08:42:36 PM · #50
Snarfles glad to see Grog return! Grog gone many moons. why Grog, why?
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