Problems while on the shoot, like sexual advances

Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f/3.5-5.6G ED VR II

05/27/2008 10:15:13 PM · #26

Originally posted by togtog:

I asked me mum as she is a wise lady. She says you need to file a harassment notice with your local police as well as file for a restraining order. She is concerned also that since this girl does not seem to take no for an answer that your girlfriend might come under harms way if this girl sees your relationship as an obstacle. Another thing, you need to tell your girlfriend if you have not. Explain to her what is going on and that you are trying to deal with it and why you are handling it in the way you are.

Joking, right?

togtog

Nikon D300

05/27/2008 10:20:38 PM · #27

This girl obviously has his email and cell numbers. All it will take is his girlfriend seeing one message and any credit he has now or ever in the future is gone, instantly.

If that is what you were referring to, if not, please try to quote a more specific passage and I will try to assist, thanks.

Ivo

05/27/2008 10:25:11 PM · #28

This is really not that complicated. The question you really need to answer is ..... ya ready......

Do you sorta like it?

If yes, manage it and accept the consequence without seeking validation.

If no, deal with it decisively cause the answer and resources are everywhere, if you are willing to walk that path.

Your answer is in the sincerity of your concern.

Message edited by author 2008-05-27 22:27:27.

05/27/2008 10:29:43 PM · #29

Just cause someone is texting and emailing isn't cause for a restraining order or harassment charges. Talk to the parties involved when everyones sober, explain the situation and why you feel the girls actions were inappropriate, and go from there.

CarpeLumen

Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro

05/27/2008 10:42:49 PM · #30

WOW
no legal action is needed, her friends are possible clients, one is under contract with 25% paid. I am just trying to let it blow over....

Is she hot, yes, but not hot enough to even think about doing anything stupid now or then, but she is a teacher and it is always flattering when this happens. But did I like it, no.

And tell my SO, no she is crazier than this girl, but I have hidden other "mistakes" from her that do not pertain to jobs.

PhotoDave

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM II

05/27/2008 10:48:49 PM · #31

Originally posted by CarpeLumen:

WOW
no legal action is needed, her friends are possible clients, one is under contract with 25% paid. I am just trying to let it blow over....

Is she hot, yes, but not hot enough to even think about doing anything stupid now or then, but she is a teacher and it is always flattering when this happens. But did I like it, no.

And tell my SO, no she is crazier than this girl, but I have hidden other "mistakes" from her that do not pertain to jobs.

Hmmm almost sounds like you bring some of this on yourself ;) you are young and need to start ignoreing Mr. Wiggley and start thinking with the head on your shoulders. You continue down this path and you risk loosing everything... just a thought.

-dave

jmlelii

Nikon D850

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 200-500mm f/5.6E ED VR

05/27/2008 10:50:23 PM · #32

Originally posted by CarpeLumen:

I'm not really sure what kind of answer you are looking for. You turned down all the logical help. I'm afraid all you see is the $$$. A situation like this calls for legal action. Lets say that because of this girl, you missed some important shots at the wedding. Who is the bride going to sue? *ding ding ding* You are the winner! She would never sue her friend.

Don't be blinded by the money, it will always be there. People will always get married.

CarpeLumen

Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro

05/27/2008 10:52:55 PM · #33

Were not all perfect..... but I assure I didnt bring this on myself, when I am on, I am on the job and I dont care what is going on around me. I would never cheat on my camera, EVER

oh no I really appreciate the help though, I should have just taken a stronger stand. I really am thankful you all gave your input and it allowed me to see it other ways. Thank you.

Message edited by author 2008-05-27 22:55:13.

Ivo

05/27/2008 10:54:27 PM · #34

Sorta looks like a management problem. For a second this sounded serious. Oh well, good luck stud! Carpediem!!

Niten

Canon EOS-20D

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM

05/27/2008 10:58:56 PM · #35

Tell her your boyfriend is getting upset and to just stop it!

05/27/2008 11:18:42 PM · #36

Dude, if your gf is crazy and wont understand... is she really worth it? I say screw reason and let the night take its course!

Wheres my little satan icon when I need it?

Mike_Adams

Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM

05/27/2008 11:45:25 PM · #37

Ok lots of people lots of takes but here is mine. If you are not planning the legal route then you absolutely cannot fan the flame here. She apparently has your cell phone number and is calling and texting. DO NOT ANSWER. The calls the texts none of it. You have not indicated that you have refused to answer and I assure you that is step 1. As the unfortunate victim of stalking when I was younger I can tell you NO contact is the best contact. If you choose not to go the legal route (personally an info only police report IS a good idea) you should tell your SO. Why??? Think Fatal Attraction. If you haven't seen it watch and then tell me again why the legal route is bad. GLEN CLOSE = FRIGHTENING = NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN OR CHEAT ON A WOMAN.

That is all! Good Luck

NVPhoto

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II

05/28/2008 09:53:31 AM · #38

Is this thread a joke?

No way $9K worth of weddings was at risk because you didn't flirt back/hookup etc. with this girl.

You said there was 1 booked and 2 possibilities for weddings. You also said friends of friends is who you shoot for. None of that points to $9K in fees. So $3K a wedding and they are going to cancel because you didn't accept advances from a friend.
No bride is going to cancel their wedding photog because you didn't make out with their friend...not to mention multiple brides all at once, thats just ridiculous.

Seriously, you're 22, is this the first time you have ever had a woman come on to you? I doubt it. Im sure you can tell a woman you're not interested w/o being mean, Im sure you have done it before.

Nothing in the scenario you mention makes sense. Also, how did she email and text you constantly. You said you did nothing to give her any indication you were interested. Giving her your number would seem like you are being responsive.

Dirt_Diver

Nikon D3s

05/28/2008 01:15:31 PM · #39

You should have used it to your advantage. Could had some good pictures come out of that... You're 22, not much going to happen later on. hahaha

After all When in Rome...

Message edited by author 2008-05-28 13:15:57.

Spork99

Canon EOS M6 Mk II

Canon EF-M 22mm STM Lens

05/28/2008 02:04:31 PM · #40

Originally posted by CarpeLumen:

So, if she's a teacher, she should be chaste and pure or something?

If your "SO" is so crazy that you've hidden "mistakes" from her, you need a new SO.

hihosilver

Nikon AF-S Zoom-Nikkor 28-70mm f/2.8D IF-ED

05/28/2008 02:23:15 PM · #41

Personally, I think you should take a more diplomatic approach...distract her! Set her up with one of your friends and the next time you go on a photo shoot...take a male photographer friend who is better looking than you are or you could fight fire with fire...and take your girlfriend.

Just my two cents...carry on!

toddhead

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 24-70 2.8L II

05/28/2008 03:08:07 PM · #42

I have a question for you... how did she get your cell number and e-mail address? I would like to know the entire story before I pass judgment on the girl... ;)

CarpeLumen

Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro

05/28/2008 11:55:34 PM · #43

sorry, had to hit the day job....
so covering some points brought up

I have not picked up the phone or texted her
I was worried about losing weddings for no good reason, sometimes I get irrational like that when weird situations occur perhaps... Ill admit that, If your inferring that I am overpriced, thats fine, but people are paying.
yes my gf is crazy and but it works out most of the time....
I dont cheat on women anymore
def not first time ive been hit on, nor first time it happened while shooting but I wanted to hear how others dealt with it.
the girl got my business email and # from my business card which was given out to some people that night, who were interested in my services. I didnt give one to her, but her friends had on.

"Tell her your boyfriend is getting upset and to just stop it!"
This is ironic as one of the nights destinations was a gay dance club where I was repeatedly offered drinks, giving me a new ultra cheap place to get plastered..... could have worked.

most of all, If you dont beleive me, thanks for your opinion.

I did get a call from the guy who got me the gig, who personally apologized and said that she wont be calling me again. evidently it was a misunderstanding on her part as well as mine. while she did make advances on me, when she sobered up, I guess her roommates talked it up and elaborated the night as a kinda "you got wasted joke" and I think she thought more happened than what actually did. I havent talked to her, but the client also apologized and said the roomies are mostly to blame. who knows, who cares, I appreciate all the help and advice you guys have given. I think this is case closed and I highly doubt I will hear from her again.

Photologist

Apple iPhone 14 Pro Max

Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM

05/29/2008 01:49:36 AM · #44

Next time, carry a tube of antibiotic ointment or a pill container. When the advances start coming, just whip one of those out and mention something about your Herpes Simplex 10 or crabs or something, and excuse yourself to the bathroom to apply said ointment. ;-)

Mick

Canon EOS-5D

Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM

05/29/2008 02:32:40 AM · #45

Being a chick magnet can be a terrible thing. Believe me; I know exactly how you feel because I've had to put up with it all my life. The worst part is often the envy, resentment, and hostility that I have to put up with from other men. After all, can I help it that I'm too sexy for my clothes?

Spork99

Canon EOS M6 Mk II

Canon EF-M 22mm STM Lens

05/29/2008 03:45:24 AM · #46

Originally posted by AperturePriority:

Or better yet ask her to apply it for you.