DPChallenge: A Digital Photography Contest You are not logged in. (log in or register
 

DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Should "behavioral disorder" be a legit excuse?
Pages:  
Showing posts 101 - 109 of 109, (reverse)
AuthorThread
06/19/2007 01:48:53 AM · #101
Originally posted by Louis:

Originally posted by Spazmo99:

People here are sooo concerned about the well being and tender mental state of the miscreant that they seem to ignore those same issues as they relate to the infant victim. What will the infant victim of such terrorizing feel and think, "Gee, Dad just let that big kid almost drown me.... etc

Wow, how dramatic. There was no suggestion that the baby was "almost drowned", and nobody has suggested, until you did just now, that the older kid be coddled due to his mental state. In fact, you might have read in my post that I for one didn't consider the kid had the "behavioural problems" the mother said he had. It would have been more honest to see that the general consensus is that the kid did wrong, and that most people applauded the aggressive reaction of dudephil, but a few others didn't. Seemed pretty clear to me anyway.


I never suggested the kid splashing be coddled, but there are posts in here that seem to attempt to at least partially excuse his behavior.

Another post suggested attempting to engage the aggressor in some type of conversation to perhaps bore him into going away. If a parent is engaging some out-of-control kid, they are NOT going to be paying attention to the infant in their care.

The perception of an infant to being continually splashed is going to be as extreme as "nearly drowning".

Message edited by author 2007-06-19 01:51:32.
06/19/2007 12:24:08 PM · #102
Yeah, even if the infant wasn't nearly drowned, it's the same thing to him.. He doesn't know what it is to drown, so for all we know he might've thought he was in real danger. He probably did. He was crying. He was scared. Maybe he won't like the pool anymore because of this rotten little brat who was splashing at him. Seriously, come on.. Try to look at it from HIS point of view. He's just swimming around with his dad, having a great time in the water. Then this evil child three times his size starts slinging water at him.. How is he supposed to feel?
I know someone else will say it, so I'm going to say it first.
Look at it from the older kid's point of view.. If you can.
He sees a toddler get into the pool with his dad. He probably pays them no mind until his mother says "Don't splash him." then, he thinks about splashing him. He splashes him. He splashes him for god knows what reason. He gets told not to splash him. Then his mother goes "He has a behavioral disorder!"

Now.. This kid is probably confused.
First his mom says not to splash the baby, then she defends him after he splashes the baby..
Is this lady even serious when she says not to splash the baby? I mean.. It seems not if she defends him after he does it.. She didn't do anything to stop him, either.

Maybe she wants him to act like this or something. She could definitely use Supernanny or something..
06/19/2007 12:47:54 PM · #103
Originally posted by khdoss:

Wow.. Thanks for sharing this, You are so lucky to have survived. Meningitis took the life of my 19 year old son, so I too know how weak you feel as a parent....


Wow, that's bad. I'm sorry for your loss. Back in 1948 meningitis was the single largest killer of children in America, but I thought it was pretty well under control now?

R.
06/19/2007 01:11:33 PM · #104
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

Originally posted by khdoss:

Wow.. Thanks for sharing this, You are so lucky to have survived. Meningitis took the life of my 19 year old son, so I too know how weak you feel as a parent....


Wow, that's bad. I'm sorry for your loss. Back in 1948 meningitis was the single largest killer of children in America, but I thought it was pretty well under control now?

R.


It seems like the biggest concern is with college kids these days, and not a year goes by when you hear about a college student dying of meningitis. I was lucky, I was only four but it was caught early and apparently a milder strain.
06/19/2007 01:14:49 PM · #105
I remember a couple of instances one year when I was in college. If they had found one or two more, we would have been put on a campus-wide quarantine, or something similar.

Like eschelar, I had a couple of "personal" rules that I didn't break. One was never cursing in front of my students (actually, I don't curse in "life" either). However, I had one student who was continually calling me a b*tch. After several days of this, it was getting a bit thin, and all other methods of "intervention" were falling way short of the "desired goal."

I asked him to do something, and he simply stood up and said, "No way, b*tch."

I'm not sure what possessed me at that moment, but I looked him in the eye and snarled, "Son, to you, that will be Mrs. B*tch from now on. Understand?"

The class was silent for a full minute or so, then they started cheering. He never called me that again.

Discipline sometimes has to be creative.


Message edited by author 2007-06-19 13:19:40.
06/19/2007 01:21:49 PM · #106
Originally posted by karmat:

I remember a couple of instances one year when I was in college. If they had found one or two more, we would have been put on a campus-wide quarantine, or something similar.

Like eschelar, I had a couple of "personal" rules that I didn't break. One was never cursing in front of my students (actually, I don't curse in "life" either). However, I had one student who was continually calling me a b*tch. After several days of this, it was getting a bit thin, and all other methods of "intervention" were falling way short of the "desired goal."

I asked him to do something, and he simply stood up and said, "No way, b*tch."

I'm not sure what possessed me at that moment, but I looked him in the eye and snarled, "Son, to you, that will be Mrs. B*tch from now on. Understand?"

The class was silent for a full minute or so, then they started cheering. He never called me that again.

Discipline sometimes has to be creative.


Lmao! That's awesome! xD
06/19/2007 02:06:44 PM · #107
As a mom with three sons, I know how unpredictable and "wild" boy behavior can be, even in children that were brought up being disciplined. I am always on the lookout for potentially dangerous situations that might somehow involve my kids, and have been known to warn them about things that haven't happened or haven't been thought of as of yet. An example would be that if we were at the pool, and my kids were playing (even in an orderly and well-behaved fashion), and a younger or smaller child happened to come around, I'd tell my kids to be careful around the baby so that they would be aware of the situation before anything they did might accidentally hurt the child. I wouldn't tell them "Don't splash the baby" because I know they will, but I'd tell them that so that they would know there was even a baby around and so that they don't do something that might accidentally hurt the baby. That's just good parenting IMHO. The mom in question warned her child as well. Maybe she wasn't telling him that because she expected it to happen, behavior disorder or not.

Of course, if my child continued to do something after I had expressly told him not to do it, I would have taken him out of the pool immediately and dealt with him not minding me. Likewise, if the baby was mine, I'd have moved to another area of the pool away from the kid causing the problem.

I agree that sometimes "behavior disorders" are used as crutches by many parents who see them as free licensure to allow their kids to get away with anything while removing all responsibility from themselves. I have seen it firsthand a lot at the school where I work. Some true disorders cause a genuine lack of impulse control, but ultimately, the child with that kind of disorder STILL has to learn what is right and appropriate as opposed to what is wrong and inappropriate in order to function in the world.
06/19/2007 04:00:37 PM · #108
my 2 cents as a mother of 6. Mother needed foot in the ass. I have 2 preemies that have "classic behavioral disorders" all of which are controlled by ......... MOM. Despite whatever the "pros" say, they make conscious decisions, good or bad. It is NOT a matter of they can't help it, it is a matter of training, period. If the child cannot be trained, then it is no longer a disorder, its a disability. Ask my 12 yr old about wearing a sign that says " I made a bad decision, now I am paying for it" while picking up trash down our street. He does not make that "bad" decision anymore. My point is, training is the parents, lack of training is a behavioral disorder. Mother left the pool because she knew that and what could she actually do if she had stayed? Good for you, and shame on her.

06/19/2007 04:29:16 PM · #109
I have always lived by the rules my parents set for me, my brothers and sisters.

When my children came along, they lived by the same rules. When they did wrong, they were punished. When they did right, they were praised and as we all know, children and adults respond to praise. I never swore in front of them, at least not unless the car played up again, or I tried driving my thumb into the wall, rather than a nail. But even then the words used were normal swear words, nothing crude.

Now, with 10 grandchildren, the same applies to them. When they are in my house, they do as I say. I cannot abide backchat. One is autistic, another has AD...whatever the new title is, but I talk to them, I tell when they are doing wrong and I never ignore them. I try to help and educate them how to behave properly. But I would never allow them to exhibit such bad behaviour as the Mum did to the OP.

I think I am pretty level headed and reasonable, I enjoy a joke and fun with all of them, but there are standards in life and it is for their benefit that we try to aim them in the right direction.
Pages:  
Current Server Time: 03/28/2020 04:25:00 AM

Please log in or register to post to the forums.


Home - Challenges - Community - League - Photos - Cameras - Lenses - Learn - Prints! - Help - Terms of Use - Privacy - Top ^
DPChallenge, and website content and design, Copyright © 2001-2020 Challenging Technologies, LLC.
All digital photo copyrights belong to the photographers and may not be used without permission.
Proudly hosted by Sargasso Networks. Current Server Time: 03/28/2020 04:25:00 AM EDT.