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05/25/2007 12:51:55 PM · #51 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
Whoa, I need that popcorn icon right about now... |
Here I'll share with ya..
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05/25/2007 12:57:42 PM · #52 |
100% of all divorces begin with Marriage.
I was married for 7 years. Thought I had a good one. I was very much in love with my wife...still am (4 years post divorce). I came home from Iraq to an empty house...who knew?
I doubt I will ever marry again...came close...the second one cheated on me after we were engaged. That is when I figured out that you can't figure out women...or at least I can't. I'd rather live out my days single than to have my heart crushed a 3rd time.
Having said that, my two best friends have the most stable marriages I've ever seen. Lots of love and trust, and more important, friendship.
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05/25/2007 01:24:13 PM · #53 |
You are 18 (according to your profile). What do you know about being a mother or a wife? Or a WOMAN for that matter? Talk to me in 10 years.
June
Originally posted by NightShy:
Originally posted by quiet_observation:
Sure if you want to go back and live in the 1950's. |
Oh...you mean before women went and ruined their devine purposes with the women's movement?
Wait...
You're right, I'm a woman! I should be able to neglect my family! My kids don't need a mom, they need day care! My high paying job is way more important than the life I brought into this world. And when I don't have a strong emotinal relationship with them when their older, I'll have NO idea why!
My husband doesn't need a wife, he needs someone who gives him conditional sex every once in a while because most of the time I don't feel like doing it...mostly I just LOVE nagging the heck out of that stupid ape until he snaps!! I just don't understand why he can't understand me!
Good thing I can just get a divorce. The kids won't mind. I'm sure they can just learn everything they need to know about healthy relationships from the media.
YES! I LOVE BEING A WOMEN, I'M SO RESPECTABLE!
Women these days are far too selfish, hard, and downright stupid. |
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05/25/2007 01:26:28 PM · #54 |
Very well said!
Originally posted by Chiqui:
You are 18 (according to your profile). What do you know about being a mother or a wife? Or a WOMAN for that matter? Talk to me in 10 years.
June
Originally posted by NightShy:
Originally posted by quiet_observation:
Sure if you want to go back and live in the 1950's. |
Oh...you mean before women went and ruined their devine purposes with the women's movement?
Wait...
You're right, I'm a woman! I should be able to neglect my family! My kids don't need a mom, they need day care! My high paying job is way more important than the life I brought into this world. And when I don't have a strong emotinal relationship with them when their older, I'll have NO idea why!
My husband doesn't need a wife, he needs someone who gives him conditional sex every once in a while because most of the time I don't feel like doing it...mostly I just LOVE nagging the heck out of that stupid ape until he snaps!! I just don't understand why he can't understand me!
Good thing I can just get a divorce. The kids won't mind. I'm sure they can just learn everything they need to know about healthy relationships from the media.
YES! I LOVE BEING A WOMEN, I'M SO RESPECTABLE!
Women these days are far too selfish, hard, and downright stupid. |
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05/25/2007 01:31:34 PM · #55 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Originally posted by quiet_observation:
Sure if you want to go back and live in the 1950's. |
Oh...you mean before women went and ruined their devine purposes with the women's movement? |
Okay, NightShy, here is where I get confused: The post seems authentically strident, but then I look at your profile and see a quote from Doug Adams sitting there as your signature line. Now I'm thinking that your little diatribe is one of the more brilliant pieces of ironic satire that I've ever read. Cheers! ;)
Message edited by author 2007-05-25 13:37:28. |
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05/25/2007 01:48:28 PM · #56 |
| Okay, hi everybody... can we please stop arguing? :-) Thanks. |
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05/25/2007 02:20:51 PM · #57 |
Is it just me or is everyone on this site been in a really bad mood??? Seems like everyone is arguing with everyone lately???
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05/25/2007 02:24:19 PM · #58 |
Originally posted by Lowcivicman99:
Is it just me or is everyone on this site been in a really bad mood??? Seems like everyone is arguing with everyone lately??? |
Shut up you pessimist!
:)
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05/25/2007 02:26:20 PM · #59 |
Originally posted by Cutter:
Originally posted by Lowcivicman99:
Is it just me or is everyone on this site been in a really bad mood??? Seems like everyone is arguing with everyone lately??? |
Shut up you pessimist!
:) |
HAHAHAHHAHAAHA
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05/25/2007 02:32:32 PM · #60 |
Nightshy -- I'm horrified by your position. Dr. Laura is a serious threat to equality. I'm in a most committed interfaith marriage (something dr. Laura says is terribly detrimental and to be avoided) and YES I do insist my husband and I be equal. And somehow, strangely it works! Why? Because we have in our love what you have read here in other people's love and long term relationships. Committment, respect, trust, and we can't live without each other.
I don't know who is filling your head full of ideas, but I think its important for you to go out and experience the world before you start giving advice on what should and shouldn't be. |
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05/25/2007 02:38:29 PM · #61 |
Originally posted by klstover:
Okay, hi everybody... can we please stop arguing? :-) Thanks. |
don't get married with that attitude! hahahaha
I've failed at marriage and I've succeeded at marriage, and here's my advice: feelings change. They change from year to year, from day to day, from hour to hour. Feelings cannot sustain a marriage. Marriage needs a rapport. You have to be able to interact well with your partner. You have to communicate well. You have to understand the way he functions, and vice versa. You have to be aware when his moods are shifting, when he is spiraling into some new condition. You need some awareness of your own shifts and you need to communicate those as best you can.
Forget goals like never letting him down, never hurting him. That's impossible. I think one of the most important things for a successful marriage is a healthy dose of pessimism. You need to understand that life is tough and you don't always get what you want... and it will *always* be that way, whether you're married or not.
Don't get married to save your life or his. |
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05/25/2007 02:40:59 PM · #62 |
Originally posted by frisca:
I don't know who is filling your head full of ideas, but I think its important for you to go out and experience the world before you start giving advice on what should and shouldn't be. |
Perhaps those ideas are her own. Or perhaps those are the values passed to her by her family. Either case, I don't think it is our duty tell her that she is right or wrong.
The best part about equality is that it is not mandatory...it is the opportunity for equality that is the goal. It is her life, her path to choose as she sees fit. It would seem that she would be equally happy tending to the home and rearing children as another woman would be pursuing a career. Neither path is wrong if both are happy.
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05/25/2007 02:58:23 PM · #63 |
why would you say this?
Originally posted by frisca:
I don't know who is filling your head full of ideas, but I think its important for you to go out and experience the world before you start giving advice on what should and shouldn't be. |
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05/25/2007 02:59:31 PM · #64 |
Originally posted by Efergoh:
Originally posted by frisca:
I don't know who is filling your head full of ideas, but I think its important for you to go out and experience the world before you start giving advice on what should and shouldn't be. |
Perhaps those ideas are her own. Or perhaps those are the values passed to her by her family. Either case, I don't think it is our duty tell her that she is right or wrong.
The best part about equality is that it is not mandatory...it is the opportunity for equality that is the goal. It is her life, her path to choose as she sees fit. It would seem that she would be equally happy tending to the home and rearing children as another woman would be pursuing a career. Neither path is wrong if both are happy. |
Since you're not a woman ... I don't think you can fully understand exactly what NightShy is saying ... furthermore, she is the one telling the rest of us that it's wrong for a woman to have a mind of her own, goals of her own and desires of her own ... |
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05/25/2007 03:10:43 PM · #65 |
Originally posted by hopper:
why would you say this?
Originally posted by frisca:
I don't know who is filling your head full of ideas, but I think its important for you to go out and experience the world before you start giving advice on what should and shouldn't be. |
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I said the first part more tongue in cheek, but my point in saying it was that I think its very important for people to think for themselves and experience the world to help form their opinions and thoughts. I'm not saying one shouldn't learn from the experience of others, but I think its pretty cheeky for someone who, by all accounts, appears rather inexperienced and quite young, to be telling all women what to do and how to be in a marriage. If she wishes to be stay at home and be the subordinate (this is not a value judgement, but more a word to describe the place she wishes in the home) partner, that is her choice, but it should be an informed one, and she shouldn't be telling other women they are wrong to want something else. |
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05/25/2007 03:12:56 PM · #66 |
Originally posted by NightShy:
Originally posted by quiet_observation:
Sure if you want to go back and live in the 1950's. |
Oh...you mean before women went and ruined their devine purposes with the women's movement?
Wait...
You're right, I'm a woman! I should be able to neglect my family! My kids don't need a mom, they need day care! My high paying job is way more important than the life I brought into this world. And when I don't have a strong emotinal relationship with them when their older, I'll have NO idea why!
My husband doesn't need a wife, he needs someone who gives him conditional sex every once in a while because most of the time I don't feel like doing it...mostly I just LOVE nagging the heck out of that stupid ape until he snaps!! I just don't understand why he can't understand me!
Good thing I can just get a divorce. The kids won't mind. I'm sure they can just learn everything they need to know about healthy relationships from the media.
YES! I LOVE BEING A WOMEN, I'M SO RESPECTABLE!
Women these days are far too selfish, hard, and downright stupid. |
LOL.. I think she's too young to remember when the naked/dirty/sexual/in a motel/not with a husband pictures came out and exposed Dr.Laura for being a women who can & has made mistakes...
I just had a baby in October & quit my job making a gaggle of money, full benefits, retirement & twice yearly bonuses.. You know why I did it???
Because I couldn't bare to drop off my 6 week old infant with a total stranger (we don't know anyone who does daycare) and work anymore 11 hour days just to see him 1/2 hour before going to bed.. You know why I was able to do this??
Becuase I married a man that was willing to sacrifice all of the monitary posessions we were spoiling ourselves with and do what needs to be done to have a FAMILY !!
We share similar beliefs, have more fun then any girlfriend I've ever had, laugh harder & more often then any other time in our life, fight sometimes with the passion of an army & still in the end, want to be with eachother..
When you're with that person, you'll know it.. You won't doubt being in this relationship & if you do, you quickly remember what a silly thought that was & move on..
There are no guarantee's in life and especially in marriage.. We're coming up on our 4th anniversary and I've never loved him more then I do today.. I don't like the word "work", but it's a easy way to explain the effort that's required to keep a marriage happy & going..
No one can really answer your question because as many have said, it's different for everyone.. I just hope & wish that you find what you're looking for & what you need to make you happy every day of your life.. If the one your with right now isn't giving you that, then maybe, just maybe he's not the one.
edit out "true self" as that wasn't meant to be taken with a nasty or judgemental tone.
Message edited by author 2007-05-25 16:04:59. |
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05/25/2007 03:20:43 PM · #67 |
Originally posted by kandykarml:
LOL.. I think she's too young to remember when the naked/dirty/sexual/in a motel/not with a husband pictures came out and exposed Dr.Laura for her true self.. |
I sure hope nobody judges me based on the stupid stuff I did 20+ years ago. I am surely not that person anymore. |
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05/25/2007 03:22:25 PM · #68 |
Originally posted by pamelasue:
Since you're not a woman ... I don't think you can fully understand exactly what NightShy is saying... |
Damn these confounded testicles!
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05/25/2007 03:23:26 PM · #69 |
| I have been married 37 years this October. Please don't ask what makes a marriage work cos I don't know?? |
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05/25/2007 03:29:15 PM · #70 |
Marriage is not a word - it's a sentence.
A joke, depending on your perspective ;-) |
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05/25/2007 03:32:23 PM · #71 |
Now married almost 34 years ... I had the good fortune (and maybe common sense) to marry a man who was GOOD. He had a good heart, good intentions, and good sense. And we were good friends before we decided to marry.
It has always been my contention that you should marry the soul of the person ... sure physical attraction is fine ... but things fade with the years ... the soul usually stays true.
Yeah, I may just be lucky ... in fact, I know I'm lucky.
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05/25/2007 03:48:33 PM · #72 |
Originally posted by timfythetoo:
Originally posted by kandykarml:
LOL.. I think she's too young to remember when the naked/dirty/sexual/in a motel/not with a husband pictures came out and exposed Dr.Laura for her true self.. |
I sure hope nobody judges me based on the stupid stuff I did 20+ years ago. I am surely not that person anymore. |
You quote me & respond in a way which makes me think you feel Dr. Laura's true self is not a good thing.. Why shouldn't she be judged for what she did that long ago.. It's a part of her & it's an experience that makes her who she is today..She certainly has no problems judging & voicing her opinion on women today regarding their past, present & future..
I was simply pointing out to the young lady who suggested her book for reading, that not even Dr.Laura is perfect or never makes a mistake or has all the answers.. That's all.. 8-) |
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05/25/2007 03:52:28 PM · #73 |
Marriage...mmm. Ok I met my wife when I was 26, Pam was just 17 and I mean just! I knew very, very early in the realtionship that we would get married. I just knew, everything felt right, we were comfortable with each other, difficult to explain but some of you know what I mean. Marriage is a two way relationship, give and take, respecting each other and trust, which is very, very important. Never take each other for granted. The only advice I would ever give anyone in a realationship is be very careful what you say when things may be a bit 'heated', never forget that once you say something you can never take those words back.
Been married for 27 years now and the love I feel for my wife is unmeasureable.
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05/25/2007 03:54:08 PM · #74 |
Actually, I think it was probably your use of the phrase "true self." That seems to imply that what you were 20 years ago is as true as what is today. While it may have affected you, and influenced who you are today, I seriously doubt any of us are the same as we were 20 years ago.
For some, basic beliefs and tenets can change 180^, and that can make them a totally different person. |
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05/25/2007 03:54:29 PM · #75 |
Originally posted by pamelasue:
Originally posted by Efergoh:
Originally posted by frisca:
I don't know who is filling your head full of ideas, but I think its important for you to go out and experience the world before you start giving advice on what should and shouldn't be. |
Perhaps those ideas are her own. Or perhaps those are the values passed to her by her family. Either case, I don't think it is our duty tell her that she is right or wrong.
The best part about equality is that it is not mandatory...it is the opportunity for equality that is the goal. It is her life, her path to choose as she sees fit. It would seem that she would be equally happy tending to the home and rearing children as another woman would be pursuing a career. Neither path is wrong if both are happy. |
Since you're not a woman ... I don't think you can fully understand exactly what NightShy is saying ... furthermore, she is the one telling the rest of us that it's wrong for a woman to have a mind of her own, goals of her own and desires of her own ... |
She didn't say that. Nothing in her post denigrated women who choose to have goals, it only pointed out that some have treated the womens lib movment as free license to forget that their family needs them. I didn't take her rant as being Dr. Laura specific, but I could be wrong.
I find it disconcerting that a young woman expresses an opinion, and is immediately condescended by the older women. It's not the 50's anymore, we should start looking at new solutions, not begrudging the old problems. I think some in the younger generation are fed up with the baby boomers, and in some part genX with their rampant selfishness and lack of drawing any boundaries on their family behavior is all.
All I'm saying is, try to look at her side before judging her. |
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