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11/27/2006 09:22:59 AM · #51
I am usually only mean on April Fools Day (April 1, US) I have taken all the rasins from a brand new box of Raisin Bran, eaten one stripe of Neopolitan icecream and left the other two intact. Many years ago my brother got a HUGE box of crayons (100+) and we told him he was missing one (really mean). Gluing coins to stairs in public areas is LOTS of fun. (Highschools, public offices, near vending machines :P)
11/27/2006 09:31:38 AM · #52
Oh yeah Mama Llama you are a mean one... LOL
11/27/2006 10:00:00 AM · #53
I also used to work for a major retailer.

My favorite mean thing to do was to one of my former department managers. He was a Hardware/Paint manager and was a total D***. He treated employees like dirt and should have been fired for sexual harrasment so many times it isn't funny. I worked in his department for about 6 months before demanding a transfer.

After I left his department I started doing some "selective ordering"- he always kept his code written in a drawer in the paint department.

The first time I ordered 1000 1/4" wood dowels.

About a week later I ordered 500 plungers

Then the following week 4000 white wall switch plates

In the weeks that followed- 1000 utility knives, 500 rolls of wallpaper- all one design, 200 cheapo measuring tapes.......

It was hilarious every week to watch him freak out and go pull the daily order sheets and see that he had indeed ordered this amount- I always timed it to the days that he ordered so nothing stood out. After about a month he started complaining that there must be some computer problem.

I quit that job about three months later. On my last day one of our Assistant Trainees came over to me and said- "That ordering thing you've been doing to ---- is hilarious, you're lucky nobody else here likes him."

Apparently after the second week they guessed who it was, the managers had a pool going as to what the item would be for the next week.


11/27/2006 10:00:01 AM · #54
Originally posted by Fromac:

Most of these fall under the heading of "practical" jokes.

I've never played a practical joke. I find them humourless and cruel.



No, no, my friend. A practical joke played on ones person is a chance to triumph in life. A chance to show your true esprit de corps. They usually happen to a new person in a group to help reveal that persons character. To be a true team player you must act embarrassed, angry, throw a tantrum, or just plain lose it. Then....... you must wait. You identify the culprit. Then wait some more. Perhaps you are the subject again. Oblige the perpetrator with another, less animated show. You must react a little less each time you're chosen. Soon the perpetrator will forget you. Then you strike. Start making practical jokes on the perps friends. Try to use the style of the joker. Be careful never to be seen. The person who joked you will probably be the groups lead joker. Every time you play a joke he/she will be blamed. This can go on for months until you're finally caught. You will the stuff of legend in this group.
11/27/2006 10:06:30 AM · #55
Originally posted by Fromac:

[
There's a careful, precise mechanism at work in comedy. Most people laugh at the obvious physical displays, without appreciating the timing, precision and intuitive understanding of psychology that must be present for the form to work.


......and most of us are born with this talent.
Some more than others!!!!!!!!

:)
11/27/2006 10:07:48 AM · #56
When I was at University there were loads of pranks that we got up to.

Some of the best / worst were.

Gelatin in the toilet. = similar to clingfilm till you have to fix it.
Vegemite or marmite on the light-bulbs. (Would stink whenever the light got hot).
The best stunts I saw (Not involved) were.
Filling someones room up to the ceiling with newspaper.
Removing the entire room and setting it up exactly the same outside. (Done when the occupant was definitely coming home with a date)

The best one (But a bit dangerous)
Fill a vacuum cleaner hose with flower.
Connect the hose to the blower side of the vacuum cleaner.
Get an adapter to convert a light socket to a normal plug & plug the vacuum cleaner into the main light fitting.
Point the hose at the door.

When the occupant comes home late at night and innocently turns the light on, they only hear the sound of a vacuum cleaner going on.

The results where AMAZING: Everything white!!

Edit: Typo

Message edited by author 2006-11-27 10:18:30.
11/27/2006 10:33:00 AM · #57
Haha I'm so mean to my kids.

The one day my daughter (4 years old) came to me worried about some bumps on her tounge. I told her it was "tounge-itis" and that we would have to cut her tounge out. I had her going for so long until she broke down and started crying, "I don't wanna lose my tounge!!!!" I then told her I was kidding.

I also have my godson believing that the Firey pits of hell are in my basement!!! When he doesn't behave his mom picks up the phone and says, "That's it B! I'm calling Aunt Lor and you are going in the basement!" HE cries, "No mommy!!! I don't want to go to the Firey Pits of Hell!!!!" He is becomming a well behaved little boy! haha

Kids are so easy mess with... :)
11/27/2006 10:34:10 AM · #58
I really miss this about this place... someone riding in on their high horse preaching about this or that and how it's wrong. If you don't like where the thread is going... don't read it... people are just having fun here.

Now for my funny... and it's so much fun. I have a co-worker and it's fun to mess with his computer. take your pick of any on this page www . rjlsoftware . com/software/entertainment/. I especially like the one that the cursor turns into a middle finger every few seconds or so. the start menu icon running away from the cursor is good too! I just set them as a scheduled task and sit there and laugh as it starts. He's convinced that he has a virus, and will proceed to reformat his computer. It's OK though... he basically does nothing at work anyway... just sits there and waits for a problem with the building to pop up.
11/27/2006 10:42:22 AM · #59
[DUMB]Edited out stupid prank that won't be repeated[/DUMB]

At a college bar I worked at, this frat boy was bragging to everyone that he was about to get some action from this girl. I said, "Cool, let me get you a drink." knowing that he was already a bit intoxicated. I borught him a double shot of Four Horsemen (Jager, Jack, Jose and Bacardi 151). Trying to be the man, he swigged it down. 15 minutes later, he was laid up in a corner passed out. By the time he woke up, the girl had gone with her friends. He was the joke of his Frat friends for a while. I figured it was a good life lesson for him.

Message edited by author 2006-11-27 12:57:38.
11/27/2006 10:52:20 AM · #60
My wife smokes (which I can't stand), but at least she smokes outside on the deck. Sometimes I'll throw in a CD of sound effects, crank the stereo connected to the deck speakers WAY up, and blast her with some obnoxious sound effect like glass breaking or a cow mooing. She jumps and usually drops the book she’s reading. But she is a great sport and usually laughs more than me.
11/27/2006 10:59:04 AM · #61
On an outward-opening front door: staple a sheet to the door frame from the inside along the bottom and sides leaving some room at the top and some slack in the sheet making a big pouch. Fill the space between the sheet and the door with crumpled paper or styrofoam peanuts and go out the back or side door. When they open the door it all falls on top of them and scares the crap out of them.
11/27/2006 11:11:40 AM · #62
I mentioned this one here a couple of weeks ago.
Open a Dos Box on the screen of a collegue when they are out. Press <Alt>+<Enter>, and it opens to full screen with a dos prompt so it looks like you are in a DOS environment.
At the dos prompt type in capital letters something like "FATAL HARD DISK ERROR!" Then sit back and watch when your collegue comes back;-)

Edit. I love that idea with the front door. Might even be worth having to clean up the mess!

Message edited by author 2006-11-27 11:12:36.
11/27/2006 11:22:19 AM · #63

i had one played on me a few years ago, but i got the last laugh ;)

i was walking through town and as i looked down i noticed a few coins (£1 and 50pence coins, so not to be sniffed at) on the pavement. obviously being a student i tried to make the most of the situation, and crouched down to pick them up.

unknown to me, they had been superglued there to the pavement by the employee's of the hair dressers which i was standing outside. needless to say they got a few chuckles (i wasn't the only one who fell for it).

i saw the funny side of it but i wanted to have the last laugh. i went home, got a screwdiver, went back to the scene and prised the coins off the pavement and then walked away smirking ;)
11/27/2006 11:33:51 AM · #64
At work:

Send the guy who just got his pager a page. To the CEO.

Set all the fax machines in the building to fax something to they guy's cell phone. They will call and leave messages on voice mail consisting of nothing but beeps, then they'll hang up and call again later. Over and over. It's not hard to get to 100 or more messages.

Put a piece of cellophane tape over the holes on the mouthpiece of the phone. Then the service guy comes to "fix" the phone, peels off the tape and says, "Works better without the tape."

In college, I had a lot more time for hi-jinx:

A girl who consistently parked her moped in a way that made it very difficult to get bikes out of the rack, found a note under her door, written in crayon, thanking her for letting the writer "borrow" her scooter. She exploded, went into a tirade, yelling at anyone she thought might have done it, even called the campus police. Her scooter was discovered the next morning in a stall in the women's 4th floor showers. Since she had not only pissed everyone off by parking it so obnoxiously, but had alienated everyone else with her tirade the day before, she had quite a hard time getting help to carry it down the stairs.

Take high-strength epoxy and glue a quarter to the sidewalk outside the student union.

We also had an RA who was the worst, mostly because she didn't do her job, but also because she would let her friends get away with anything, but enforced the rules with an iron fist for the rest of us. So, she asked for it.

A trash can full of water was leaned up against her door. Nothing like wet feet first thing in the morning.

We'd stack empty beer cans on her doorknob to the top of the doorjamb. The top of the stack would be a party cup full of stale beer.

She left her door open once when she went on rounds. We moved everything and I mean everything out into the lobby. Then locked and closed her door.

While she was holed up in her room for overnight visits with her boyfriend (against the rules for anyone else, but for her, it was every other night at least) we'd tape copies of the rules forbidding such activities to her door. Alternately, we'd stand in the lobby and recite the rule at full volume.

Vaseline on her doorknob.

Sent a stray german shepherd chasing after a tennis ball we threw into her shower.

Answered the door for room inspections stark naked.

Another time, she left her door unlocked when she went on vacation. We took the opportunity to cover every square inch of horizontal surface in her room with those little white paper condiment cups (the kind they give you for ketchup at some fast food places) filled with water. There were well over a thousand of them.

There are more, but I have other things to type today.

11/27/2006 11:44:58 AM · #65
Oh, as an extra to my earlier work `prank`..

I also worked at McDonalds for a year immediately after leaving school There was one guy, Will,quite possibly mildly retarded. useless at his job, so to keep him out of the way we got him to stock-count the pickles (they used to come in huge containers with roughly 10,000 - 20,000 slices).. And on more than one occasion we told him that the fizzy drinks machine had run out of CO2 so gave him a black binbag and got him to run around the resturant `catching` some Co2.. Great days.

Anothe job (after Mcdonalds) we worked in a computer configuration department (it was cool back then) and when we got a new starter we used to send him across to the Plumbing Store opposite to get 3 meters of fallopian tubing... lol...

Message edited by author 2006-11-27 11:45:57.
11/27/2006 12:05:40 PM · #66
The funnel trick? It worked at college and now it works on my college age kids and their friends.

You take a funnel, stick it in the guys waistband. Give him a quarter (or eoro or whatever coin), tip his head back, put it on his forehead and bet that he can't tip his head down and make the coin land in the funnel. "Here, let me hold your ber while you try". It's easy, he gets it in the funnel the first try. Wow! You praise him, give him te quarter and bet he can't do it again.

When he (could be a she, I suppose) tips his head back to put the coin on his forehead for the second time, you pour his beer inot the funnel and down his pants.
11/27/2006 12:16:21 PM · #67
This killed someone on an episode of CSI...hmmmmmm

Originally posted by fotomann_forever:

As a bartender, I could be quite cruel to the less agreeable customers. I will tell you that a few drops of Visine in one's drink will reak havoc upon the digestive system quickly :-) It's a quick way to get a mean drunk out of your hair. And that "Uh oh" look they get on thier face before running to the bathroom is priceless. But, hey, I never did that to anyone who wasn't deserving of it.
11/27/2006 12:38:47 PM · #68
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:

As a bartender, I could be quite cruel to the less agreeable customers. I will tell you that a few drops of Visine in one's drink will reak havoc upon the digestive system quickly :-) It's a quick way to get a mean drunk out of your hair. And that "Uh oh" look they get on thier face before running to the bathroom is priceless. But, hey, I never did that to anyone who wasn't deserving of it.

You're bragging about poisoning someone's drink!

Why do I not find that surprising?


11/27/2006 12:40:37 PM · #69
oh, I used to get a dandelion, you know after it has bloomed into that pretty white fluffy mess that blows in the wind. I would hold it up and a very small stick. I would give my sister the stick and tell her that the dandelion was a magical stick finder. I told her to hide the stick anywhere on her body, I'll turn around. So I turn around, she would put it in her pocket or something and say "okay". Then I turn back around and begin holding the flower about an inch from her forehead... then I make my way down to her eyes and mouth and slow way down on the mouth then I go to the chin. I move back up to the mouth and say. "the magical stick finder says that you have hiddend the stick in your mouth" and she says "nope" and I am like "that is what the stick finder says". All the while I am holding the dandelion just an inch from her lips. She argues and invariably, to prove that the stick is not hidden in her mouth she would open it up wide to show me how wrong I was. When her mouth was open I would jam the flower in her mouth. With it all fluffy the way they can be, I imagine it was really quite gross. Sometimes it is great to be a big brother.

drake
11/27/2006 12:46:58 PM · #70
Originally posted by Mick:


You're bragging about poisoning someone's drink!

Why do I not find that surprising?


That was before CSI...

Edit: and after reading this:
//www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp

Doesn't sound like it was a smart thing to do.

Message edited by author 2006-11-27 13:01:32.
11/27/2006 12:59:16 PM · #71
Workplace tea making is time consuming so I have a deterrent. I like to make a cup of tea for colleagues, pour in the hot water, leave it for a few minutes, tip it out and replace it quickly with cold tea or tea/coffee hybrid. When handing it to them the mug is still hot so they take a sip...

I also like to watch a scary film with the bread knife, then, when it's finished just say I'm going to the loo but instead I will go out of the room and wait for her, standing silhouetted at the top of the stairs, saying nothing, holding a hammer.

Oh, I do enjoy myself.

However, one stunt I pulled did go wrong, so I suppose I may as well tell the story behind this one now...

' . substr('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/231/thumb/85575.jpg', strrpos('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/231/thumb/85575.jpg', '/') + 1) . '

This scar on my wrist was the result of some decent craftmanship and utter stupidity!

An office junior had started work at the design studio I was working at and it was customary to have a laugh at the expense of these new recruits. We used to work in darkrooms producing PMTs (Photo Mechanical Transfers) which were used constantly in the design business for years prior to the advent of Macs. On this occasion Paul, our office junior (who shall remain nameless) was in the midst of a long stint of producing these prints, in near total darkness, for many hours.

I decided to make use of this time by producing a faithful replica of a scalpel blade - and a fine job I did of it. When he emerged from the darkroom his eyes were not accustomed to the bright light of the outside world - so I walked towards him brandishing my 'blade' towards his face while pretending to be distracted. He jumped in fear at the approaching 'weapon' and raised his hands to protect himself. However, unbeknown to me he had walked out holding a real scalpel which penetrated my wrist casuing an instant buzzing sensation. I turned to witness a dark arc appear across the room - which I soon realised was my own blood.

I was rushed to hospital and admitted to a plastic surgery ward where I underwent a lengthy operation to reattach my artery and nerve. While there I witnessed some remarkable patients who were in the middle of treatment, including two patients having work on their noses which were significantly disfigured and a man who had severed his fingers (almost completely) with a circular saw.

To cut a long story shortish the [delicious] nurses and I got chatting and they discovered I kept exotic pets including spiders, scorpions and snakes (some rescued by the way - not imports). As it transpired, the ward still used leeches to bring blood to the surface of skin grafts and the nurses were a bit squeamish when applying them. They took advantage of my male weakness and asked if I would mind applying some to a patient. I was perfectly happy to do it so they asked the woman if she minded a stranger doing the honours. She was OK with it and I ended up attaching five leeches to this poor lady's buttock! I had no idea what problem she had but her injury was substantial.

Not exactly what I had in mind at the beginning of the prank.
:D
11/27/2006 12:59:27 PM · #72
Originally posted by fstopopen:

oh, I used to get a dandelion, you know after it has bloomed into that pretty white fluffy mess that blows in the wind. I would hold it up and a very small stick. I would give my sister the stick and tell her that the dandelion was a magical stick finder. I told her to hide the stick anywhere on her body, I'll turn around. So I turn around, she would put it in her pocket or something and say "okay". Then I turn back around and begin holding the flower about an inch from her forehead... then I make my way down to her eyes and mouth and slow way down on the mouth then I go to the chin. I move back up to the mouth and say. "the magical stick finder says that you have hiddend the stick in your mouth" and she says "nope" and I am like "that is what the stick finder says". All the while I am holding the dandelion just an inch from her lips. She argues and invariably, to prove that the stick is not hidden in her mouth she would open it up wide to show me how wrong I was. When her mouth was open I would jam the flower in her mouth. With it all fluffy the way they can be, I imagine it was really quite gross. Sometimes it is great to be a big brother.

drake


My younger brother did that to me when we were kids! LOL

In high school we pulled a prank on one teacher that we disliked. Mostly for the subject he tought. When we came to his classroom he wasn't there. SO we piled all the chairs and desks in the middle of the classroom all the way to the ceiling. What a mess! So everyone went outside of the classroom and waited for the teacher to comeback. When he came back and opened the door his jaw just dropped to the floor. He was furious! He yelled at us and went to get our homeroom teacher. Meanwhile, we went back in and straightened everything. All desks and chairs neat and tidy. And once again waited in the hallway for teachers to show up. The look on his face was priceless when he opened the door!
11/27/2006 01:34:55 PM · #73
Originally posted by Mick:

Originally posted by fotomann_forever:

As a bartender, I could be quite cruel to the less agreeable customers. I will tell you that a few drops of Visine in one's drink will reak havoc upon the digestive system quickly :-) It's a quick way to get a mean drunk out of your hair. And that "Uh oh" look they get on thier face before running to the bathroom is priceless. But, hey, I never did that to anyone who wasn't deserving of it.

You're bragging about poisoning someone's drink!

Why do I not find that surprising?

Well.....the title of this topic is 'Your favorite mean thing to do', not the funniest joke you played on someone.
11/27/2006 02:11:07 PM · #74
I heard about this one. After a recent breakup, the person that was dumped had a revenge policy.

On his way out after taking his belongings he would put a broken up clear Jolly Rancher candy (any hard candy will do) into the shower head. The dumpee would take a shower with hot water laced with melted hard candy, but wouldn't realize it while still wet. As she dried off after the shower the stickiness would set it. Confused and sticky, she gets back in the shower to rinse off again only to make it worse. By the time she gets around to checking out the shower head, the candy has completely melted.

Never had the guts to do this one myself, but I would have loved to see the victim's face while it was happening!


11/27/2006 02:24:57 PM · #75
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:

As a bartender, I could be quite cruel to the less agreeable customers. I will tell you that a few drops of Visine in one's drink will reak havoc upon the digestive system quickly :-) It's a quick way to get a mean drunk out of your hair. And that "Uh oh" look they get on thier face before running to the bathroom is priceless. But, hey, I never did that to anyone who wasn't deserving of it.


Originally posted by fotomann_forever:


That was before CSI...

Edit: and after reading this:
//www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp

Doesn't sound like it was a smart thing to do.


So did you really do it or were you just sharing urban legends? Should we be waiting for the rant thread entitled "I'm getting my ass sued off?"

Also, please note as someone who agreed with the "mk's nice is other people's mean" sentiment, I have never poisoned anyone or attempted to kill (through methods other than smite or arrow) anyone. :P
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