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11/12/2006 11:05:02 PM · #1 |
Any takers? Not photography, but it's my final project for one of my classes and before I finalize it I'd love to get some feedback. Cheers!
//llc.du.edu/bfox2/emadfinal/ |
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11/12/2006 11:10:55 PM · #2 |
Good job with this. My only observation is it kinda drags on. Not sure if you're trying to meet a time limit or something...
Other then that pretty good.
ohh one more, the chair he's sitting on seems to be outta place compared to the others. Too bad you could'nt sit him on one of the others....
Message edited by author 2006-11-12 23:12:13. |
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11/12/2006 11:27:16 PM · #3 |
Great stuff. Very sad but an intriguing message. My only critique would be that you have a slice of the furniture layer peeking through on the middle left of the TV screen as the credits are rolling.
How far into actionscript are you? |
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11/12/2006 11:39:39 PM · #4 |
Thanks for the comments! Bmora: I can see how it could drag on. I wanted some repetition though and I also wanted to use the whole song mostly because I like it ;) but it also adds to the message. Half of me agrees about the room, the other half likes the contrast. I might make another one if I can find a good room to use.
Rinac: Thanks for the catch on the TV screen. This animation has zero actionscript, which is new to me. Usually I prefer coding to animating/designing. I haven't done much flash in a while though. The most heavy actionscript thing I did was a game, and that was almost two years ago now. You can check it out at //www.du.edu/~bfox2/personal/portfolio/flashgame.swf but as a warning there are a few bugs in it that pop up from time to time. |
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11/12/2006 11:58:20 PM · #5 |
Too cool! Absolutely love arcade style games! You've done a fantastic job with it, well done :) I'm glad I asked, I may have to pick your brain at some point.
Good luck with the project. Don't forget to let us know how it goes! |
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11/13/2006 12:05:12 AM · #6 |
Just a couple things, I'm being a little (and by a little, I mean very) nit-picky, but I imagine that is what you're looking for:
1. The intro text is too faint and too fast to be readable against the static on the t.v. There is also a red sliver near the left edge that looks strange.
2. The room is really beautifully done, and the T.V.'s cartooneyness makes it seem out of place (which might be your intention)
3. The spilled drink is too red, and too opaque, and too fast. Making it slightly transparent might make it look a lot better, and making the spill take more frames will make it seem like it is spilling and not being ejected from the can. (you might also want to change the person's hand after they've dropped the can)
4. The person in the chair does not appear to have a left wrist, but rather a slight gap behind the hand through which the background is visible.
5. The static pattern seems to freeze for a split second every second. This might be due to where it is looping the last and first frames are either too similar or too different (I'm not sure which)
6. Just as a suggestion, making the lighting change gently (the lamps getting slightly dimmer and brighter) may help create the gloomy effect you are looking for.
Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions or need any more advice/criticism
Mark
edit- it's a large enough file (1.26 MB) that you could consider a loading bar, but it isn't necessary. There may be ways to reduce the file size depending on how you've done it.
Message edited by author 2006-11-13 00:15:32.
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