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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Never fart in an empty elevator.
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Showing posts 26 - 50 of 74, (reverse)
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07/13/2006 02:58:38 PM · #26
There should be a break wind emergency button that kicks on a fan.
07/13/2006 03:01:45 PM · #27
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

Originally posted by biteme:

Originally posted by LoudDog:

Same goes for farting at your desk when no one is around. It's like a magnet!


everyone farts. that's a fact. even girls! and you are so right...

;-)


I disagree with this; it's a well-known fact that little girls don't fart. Why? Because they don't have a**holes until they get married...

(runs for shelter)

R.


My farts smell like roses and lilacs :)
07/13/2006 03:02:42 PM · #28
Originally posted by biteme:

Originally posted by LoudDog:

Same goes for farting at your desk when no one is around. It's like a magnet!


everyone farts. that's a fact. even girls! and you are so right...

;-)


There was a joke once that asked why mother-in-laws didn't fart? Cause they never shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

Not mine though I love her, even if she isn't on this site.
07/13/2006 03:03:01 PM · #29
I like to leave a gift for subsequent passengers just before I exit an empty elevator. :-)
07/13/2006 03:19:00 PM · #30
Ok... I have to say that this is the funniest thread i have ever read on DPC!!! I can't stop laughing, my stomach hurts sooooo bad!

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaa
07/13/2006 03:23:10 PM · #31
Farting is ok. Just don't "Shart".

You guys know what "sharting" is right?
07/13/2006 03:33:54 PM · #32
Originally posted by Rikki:

Farting is ok. Just don't "Shart".

You guys know what "sharting" is right?

From the apparent etymology, I could hazard a guess...
07/13/2006 03:44:32 PM · #33
Originally posted by brimac:

Ok... I have to say that this is the funniest thread i have ever read on DPC!!! I can't stop laughing, my stomach hurts sooooo bad!

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaa


Oh my gosh... You said it! LMAO
07/13/2006 03:44:36 PM · #34
my fiance had gas so bad in boot camp that his fellow roomies threatened to beat him up if he didnt stop farting. he said he had to sleep with his spray deodorant to keep the smell down while he was laying in bed. he also said he farted alot in formation and the guys standing around him were really angry. he said it must have been the food and how they have to eat really fast because he barely ever farts now. LUCKY ME!
07/13/2006 04:22:19 PM · #35
Originally posted by Rikki:

Farting is ok. Just don't "Shart".

You guys know what "sharting" is right?


also known as "pulling mud"...

hey... if you ever meet my wife, ask her about the time in line at Wal-Mart when she started to giggle... right before the lady behind us in line started to cough and choke...

noxious doesn't begin to describe it...
07/13/2006 04:24:39 PM · #36
Originally posted by kudzu:

Originally posted by Rikki:

Farting is ok. Just don't "Shart".

You guys know what "sharting" is right?


also known as "pulling mud"...


This results in what is known as Bum Gravy.
07/13/2006 04:26:30 PM · #37
' . substr('//bryanhead1.home.comcast.net/needpics.gif', strrpos('//bryanhead1.home.comcast.net/needpics.gif', '/') + 1) . '
07/13/2006 04:28:34 PM · #38
I'm not easily grossed out but this thread is getting pretty close to doing just that. LoL. Yikes!
07/13/2006 04:28:58 PM · #39
NO PICS! PLEEEEEEEASE.
07/13/2006 04:29:02 PM · #40
Speaking of which, has anyone heard of a "dutch oven"? LOL!
07/13/2006 04:41:31 PM · #41
Originally posted by BradP:

Rewind to circa 1982.

My best buddy & I had been out on the town in Manhattan, had a knarly lunch of chili, chips & beer, wandered about the town taking pictures and eventually went up to the Empire state Building. After seeing what was to be seen and taking lots of pictures - you know, that stuff called film, we proceeded to the elevator to head back down and were the last two in.

Well one "fell out", silently of course, and should have carried with it an environmental Biohazard warning, and was perhaps the absolute worst smell that has ever left my body, even to this day. By now, my face was in a terrific pain from holding back an outburst of laughter, my body tense with muscle spasms holding back the involuntary movements associated with laughter. sounds could be heard behind us of people shuffling, though it was a packed elevator, occasional coughs were heard, making holding back the laughter even worse.

Nearing the end of the 100+ story ride down, an elderly woman, in a shrill voice, said: "Is something burning?".
About that time the elevator came to a slow stop, the doors opened, and the two of us burst out of the elevator, exploding in laughter and never looked back as we made a mad dash as far away from the coughing passengers, never to look back and see what damage was caused to them, as we were sure the pain would have been evident on their faces.

Yes, this is a true story.
My friend and I have kept in touch of the years, and all it takes is to say "Is something burning?" and neither of us can talk for a few moments.... I can still hear her voice 20+ years later.


ROFL! i literally had tears after reading this!!!
07/13/2006 04:57:43 PM · #42
this deserves a bump.
07/13/2006 04:59:27 PM · #43
As you get older you dont care where you let rip! Also you can sometimes have no control, there you are walking through the office when farp off one goes - they just creep out, honest! Hell if I need to I need to!
07/13/2006 05:01:50 PM · #44
Originally posted by Nikonian Ninja:

i literally had tears ....

So did the poor people in the elevator. ' . substr('//users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/happy/046.gif', strrpos('//users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/happy/046.gif', '/') + 1) . '

I can still hear that old ladies' voice saying that, yet I can't remember my wife's voice from this morning.
Oh wait - that's selective.
07/13/2006 05:20:43 PM · #45
Brad, that story is great.

Back when I was in school one of my buddies had come over to the house and decided to hang out. My grandfather lived with us and he raised beagles. My buddy and I were sitting around watching TV, drinking Cokes and eating God-only-knows-what when Scott leans forward and produces a sound that must have carried quite well because we heard from my grandfather from the other room start banging on the window and yelling at the dogs to "Hush up out there! You stop that barkin'!"

We still laugh about that one.
07/13/2006 05:26:36 PM · #46
Originally posted by KevinRiggs:

We still laugh about that one.

Oh those moments we carry with us our whole lives. LOL
07/13/2006 05:29:36 PM · #47
It does seem to be a male thing though, doesn't it.... Women and girls fart but it never seems to have the whole humor thing it does for men.

Honestly though, males seem to have stinkier farts. My husband smells just like our dog - makes a good excuse for him!!
07/13/2006 05:34:31 PM · #48
NOT true at my house. My 6 year-old daughter can rival my husband any day, sound and smell. He usually wins out in hang time though.
07/13/2006 05:38:34 PM · #49
Originally posted by brizmama:

NOT true at my house. My 6 year-old daughter can rival my husband any day, sound and smell. He usually wins out in hang time though.


I agree my 5 year old daughter gives us a run for our money. usually im like "are you ok? need to go change or clean up? that didnt sound pleasant."
07/13/2006 05:39:54 PM · #50
Originally posted by Sammie:

It does seem to be a male thing though, doesn't it.... Women and girls fart but it never seems to have the whole humor thing it does for men.

Nature runs it's course no matter what the sex.
Just men are more into a huge wind-up, a fast ball pitch and wait to hear the screams as it's delivered.
Women would rather roll it quietly to home base in stealth mode - you know - lower case ffffffffff....
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