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09/07/2005 12:44:29 AM · #1 |
This is two of the comments I received on my recent entry "Shoes" and my reply.
the first one was made by a 13 year old who shouldn't have really understood it anyway, so I will forgive them. All they said was "DateRape". I worry that a 13 yr. would even have that thought pop into their head.
The next one went like this:
I don't like this picture for many reason: 1. The lighting makes the shoes a funny orange color. 2. Nobody is dancing so it doesn't match your title. 3. Why is there a candle??? 4. CONDOMS? Geez. Can't you just leave sex out of this? 5. Why is the wine glass spilt from nder the shoe? If you spilt the wine first, and then put the shoe down, you could have picked up the wine! This just kind of grosses me out.
My answer went like this:
I noticed you don't have your age listed, you are very young or very closed minded.
Here are the Answers to your questions : 1. On most monitors, including mine which is calibrated, these shoes are red not orange, 2. Dancing the night away, refers to the party they just left and the night of lovemaking (aka dancing) they are continuing.3. Candle, because this is a romantic night between two people in love. 4. Lovemaking (sex) is the most natural thing in the world , although it's best to be safe about it because things can happen,why do you see it as something dirty? 5.The glass of wine that they were sharing in celebration was accidentally knocked over by the shoe and went un noticed because they were enjoying their "dance", if you think drinking a glass of wine in celebration is wrong, take it up with Jesus, he turned the water into wine at a celebration , it's in the bible. In other words, you saw this as a dirty drunken scene, when it was meant to be an intimate scene shared between two people in love. I think your mind is grosser than my picture and check out the thread titled "Message to dirty minded people" on the forum to see how many agree with me. |
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09/07/2005 12:57:20 AM · #2 |
I wouldn't worry about that Pix. Unfortunately, we do receive comments like these. I don't think they were meant to be nasty, just a narrow way of looking at things I believe.
Edit:
By the way, i thought your image was something else. maybe it's just me but I think there's a naked woman reflected against it. I might have just been looking to hard (no pun intended).
Message edited by author 2005-09-07 00:58:28. |
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09/07/2005 01:03:11 AM · #3 |
Originally posted by rikki11:
I wouldn't worry about that Pix. Unfortunately, we do receive comments like these. I don't think they were meant to be nasty, just a narrow way of looking at things I believe.
Edit:
By the way, i thought your image was something else. maybe it's just me but I think there's a naked woman reflected against it. I might have just been looking to hard (no pun intended). |
LOL, rikki, you are always too good to me, I'm not upset any more, I actually like that I got a reactio!!, it's better than none. |
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09/07/2005 01:04:47 AM · #4 |
I don't know the commenter but it seems he was giving you the reasons "he" didn't like your picture. The shoes are orange on my monitor, btw. Other comments you received also were alluding to what this person so bluntly said. Why shouldn't he say why he might not like your entry? What's wrong with him having a different set of moral standards than yours?
I don't think it's right for you to call out people in the forums like this. If you don't like a comment, don't mark it as helpful. Or pm the person after the challenge has ended and have a nice conversation about what they said and how you feel about their comment. |
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09/07/2005 01:10:40 AM · #5 |
Since we are tabulating monitors...it shows up as bright red on mine!
And I like the photo. Hey, after you have kids, that is a dream night LOL
You have to be a bit older to "get" the title :)
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09/07/2005 01:31:56 AM · #6 |
| I have plenty of other comments where people don't like my photo and I have no problem with that, this person asked for answers and they got it. Why should I sit back and keep my opinion to myself? That road goes two ways, you know. You say I called them out, they called themselves out by giving me the holy-er than thou speech in their comments that are now on public display, if they wanted to rag on it, they could have PM me privately after the challenge instead of publicly posting it the way they did. I didn't call anyone else out for not "liking" my entry. In addition, my morals are no less than theirs, but my manners are better. |
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09/07/2005 01:34:15 AM · #7 |
Originally posted by papagei:
Since we are tabulating monitors...it shows up as bright red on mine!
And I like the photo. Hey, after you have kids, that is a dream night LOL
You have to be a bit older to "get" the title :) |
Amen to a night out. |
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09/07/2005 01:51:08 AM · #8 |
Originally posted by pixieland:
I have plenty of other comments where people don't like my photo and I have no problem with that, this person asked for answers and they got it. Why should I sit back and keep my opinion to myself? That road goes two ways, you know. You say I called them out, they called themselves out by giving me the holy-er than thou speech in their comments that are now on public display, if they wanted to rag on it, they could have PM me privately after the challenge instead of publicly posting it the way they did. I didn't call anyone else out for not "liking" my entry. In addition, my morals are no less than theirs, but my manners are better. |
I think the place to "answer" the person's comments is in the photo's own discussion thread -- it works just like the forums, so you can quote their comment and everything.
That way, the discussion is conducted where it has some relevance (i.e., looking at the photo), and only among those who are concerned with the photo (i.e., they are looking at it already).
By posting in a public forum, you are indeed "calling out" the original commenter, who is, after all, every bit entitled to their opinion as you are to yours. You quoted their comment and labelled it "nasty."
They are also entitled to their own moral standards, and to express them to you; they mentioned how they felt/thought, but I don't think they told you what to do or not do -- just what their reaction was to your photo. (I haven't seen it yet, so I have none of my own, although I suspect I'd lean towards your interpretation).
As for manners, I think the existence of this thread somewhat undermine your self-assessment ...
Message edited by author 2005-09-07 01:52:08. |
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09/07/2005 01:51:49 AM · #9 |
In my opinion, everyone has a right to their own opinion. Look at the bright side, some people may not have the courage or interest to say why they don't like a shot and At least now you know why the image scored low. Just as the commenter is entitled to their opinion, so is the photographer. One man's trash is another man's treasure. What appeals to you may not appeal to others.
The shoes show up red AND orange on my computer. Red with splotches of orange from the candle I think. And actually, the focus was kind of soft on the condoms that I couldn't even tell if they were condoms or little packets of tums or something. |
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09/07/2005 01:56:02 AM · #10 |
Tums!!???! heeheeheehee
Heather, I think you need to get out more :-P
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09/07/2005 01:59:12 AM · #11 |
Originally posted by taterbug:
Tums!!???! heeheeheehee
Heather, I think you need to get out more :-P |
What'r ya tryin to say? I guess being married for so long will do that to a person. Grar. |
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09/07/2005 02:01:15 AM · #12 |
Originally posted by hbunch7187:
Originally posted by taterbug:
Tums!!???! heeheeheehee
Heather, I think you need to get out more :-P |
What'r ya tryin to say? I guess being married for so long will do that to a person. Grar. |
Heather... i think you're just sleep depraved... LOL! |
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09/07/2005 02:02:01 AM · #13 |
"nasty" comment like those sounds constructive to me, in my opinion. I'd like to have them than nothing at all.
Message edited by author 2005-09-07 02:02:15. |
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09/07/2005 02:37:38 AM · #14 |
| Let's be honest here people, the photo looks like a snapshot. I think the idea was good, but the photo just looks out of focus and very amateur. I hate to be harsh, but it's the truth. The shoes are red on my monitor, too. However, it doesn't take away the harsh flash reflection on the wine glasses, the objects being out of focus, and the fingerprints on the wine glass as well. |
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09/07/2005 03:02:16 AM · #15 |
Originally posted by bowronfam3:
Let's be honest here people, the photo looks like a snapshot. I think the idea was good, but the photo just looks out of focus and very amateur. I hate to be harsh, but it's the truth. The shoes are red on my monitor, too. However, it doesn't take away the harsh flash reflection on the wine glasses, the objects being out of focus, and the fingerprints on the wine glass as well. |
see? i love constructive feedback such as this. its helpful and lets me know just what others(voters included) thinks or sees in a photo I have taken. It helps improve. |
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09/07/2005 03:03:01 AM · #16 |
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09/07/2005 03:11:15 AM · #17 |
My humorous take on the same theme didn't go over any better a year ago -- but I had a good laugh at the comments as they came in. :D
Different people have different views -- you just happen to have a less tabloid view of a particular bodily function than some voters do. *shrug* While I realize the act of creation (photography, this time) involvespouring a lot of yourself into it the result -- I think you may be taking someone else having a different point of view a little too personally.
David
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09/07/2005 03:11:19 AM · #18 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Originally posted by pixieland:
I have plenty of other comments where people don't like my photo and I have no problem with that, this person asked for answers and they got it. Why should I sit back and keep my opinion to myself? That road goes two ways, you know. You say I called them out, they called themselves out by giving me the holy-er than thou speech in their comments that are now on public display, if they wanted to rag on it, they could have PM me privately after the challenge instead of publicly posting it the way they did. I didn't call anyone else out for not "liking" my entry. In addition, my morals are no less than theirs, but my manners are better. |
I think the place to "answer" the person's comments is in the photo's own discussion thread -- it works just like the forums, so you can quote their comment and everything.
That way, the discussion is conducted where it has some relevance (i.e., looking at the photo), and only among those who are concerned with the photo (i.e., they are looking at it already).
By posting in a public forum, you are indeed "calling out" the original commenter, who is, after all, every bit entitled to their opinion as you are to yours. You quoted their comment and labelled it "nasty."
They are also entitled to their own moral standards, and to express them to you; they mentioned how they felt/thought, but I don't think they told you what to do or not do -- just what their reaction was to your photo. (I haven't seen it yet, so I have none of my own, although I suspect I'd lean towards your interpretation).
As for manners, I think the existence of this thread somewhat undermine your self-assessment ... |
right... there is nothing "nasty" about this comment. |
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09/07/2005 03:14:27 AM · #19 |
Originally posted by pixieland:
In other words, you saw this as a dirty drunken scene, when it was meant to be an intimate scene shared between two people in love. I think your mind is grosser than my picture and check out the thread titled "Message to dirty minded people" on the forum to see how many agree with me. |
Unfortunately, it really doesn't matter how many people agree with you or not.. people are entitled to their opinions on matters of morality. You believe that a more open-minded approach is best, they believe that it is better left to oneself.. or more secluded.
Neither view is *wrong* per se. It's when we try and force our views on everyone else that we get into trouble.. Pete knows I'm guilty of it enough.. many of us are.
A proper response to a comment we are not entirely happy with would be something along the lines of, "Thank you for your comment. I do not agree entirely with what you say, but I respect you for speaking out and for taking the time to do so." This would solve many problems that we face from people expressing opinions we may not like or agree with.
Crusades on either side of a morality battle rarely work in environments such as this. Let's all just respect people's opinions on the matter. This doesn't mean *not* entering a photo that may be controversial, but it means letting those opposed to something have their say, without responding publically that they're wrong for saying it.
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09/07/2005 04:05:34 AM · #20 |
Originally posted by pixieland:
I have plenty of other comments where people don't like my photo and I have no problem with that, this person asked for answers and they got it. Why should I sit back and keep my opinion to myself? That road goes two ways, you know. You say I called them out, they called themselves out by giving me the holy-er than thou speech in their comments that are now on public display, if they wanted to rag on it, they could have PM me privately after the challenge instead of publicly posting it the way they did. I didn't call anyone else out for not "liking" my entry. In addition, my morals are no less than theirs, but my manners are better. |
I didn't see a "holy-er then thou" in that response. I think you have over reacted here. Did you ever think that maybe it had nothing to do with morals? That maybe split wine left on the floor would make some people a little anxious? I personally have nothing against wine or wine spilt on the floor. I don't think the condoms, however, enhance the image a bit. And this is not on moral grounds either. The candle, if you're looking for romantic, should have been something other then an Airwick type candle.
As someone mentioned earlier, less is more. If you were trying for a subtle gesture the image failed. Two wine glasses, spilt or otherwise, next to the shoes would have left room for much imagination.
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09/07/2005 05:48:05 PM · #21 |
Originally posted by bowronfam3:
Let\'s be honest here people, the photo looks like a snapshot. I think the idea was good, but the photo just looks out of focus and very amateur. I hate to be harsh, but it\'s the truth. The shoes are red on my monitor, too. However, it doesn\'t take away the harsh flash reflection on the wine glasses, the objects being out of focus, and the fingerprints on the wine glass as well. |
Now this is the kind of comment that I consider to be constructive, the fact that you said it looks very amateur stings a little, as it would anyone, but it's not something that would bother me too much cause I know I have along way to go. And it may also help me verify that my camera isn't focusing as good since I had it in the shop. Yes, there were fingerprints on the glass, that didn't show up on my screen til I got it calibrateed a couple days later and I saw how awlful they looked.
You stated your opinion and didn't ask me why about it, so all is good.
The other person didn't just state their opinion, they asked me pointed questions and I felt compelled to answer them. Some people here seem to think I was objecting to my photo not being liked, I know it had alot wrong with it, I was defending my right to submit it to this person who asked me why couldn't we leave sex out of it and that I had grossed them out as if I had shoved porn down their throat.
ANYWAY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I agree that this thread was not the proper way to respond, I felt if they wanted to question me, they could have PM'd me and I had every right to give my answers back to defend my photograph. Rights work both ways, but I agree with GeneralE that I should have put it in the thread that went along with the comment and photo and not submitted it here for everyone to be subjected to it. I apologize for that, thank you, GE, you haven't steered me wrong yet. As far as I'm concerned, it's END of Discussion. |
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09/07/2005 06:07:21 PM · #22 |
Originally posted by pixieland:
... I should have put it in the thread that went along with the comment and photo and not submitted it here for everyone to be subjected to it. I apologize for that, thank you, GE, you haven't steered me wrong yet. As far as I'm concerned, it's END of Discussion. |
Thanks, and you're welcome. I hope I didn't seem too mean : )
Everyone might also remember that, in print, it might be harder to recognize the rhetorical question -- an opinion phrased as a question. Not every question needs (or can have) an answer. |
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