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07/19/2005 10:03:46 PM · #1 |
... or maybe I long for the school year to start again. Every freakin' day dozens of screaming, crying, mess making, germ spreading, rug rats gather in front of and to the side of my home. Last summer they broke my window with a ball. In June I saw that it was broken again. Just last weekend a bunch of them were playing in a car, honking the horn every 20 seconds. At least once a month but more often than not, once a week, the neighborhood and street are covered in those free newspapers. Heaven only knows why, are they having parades? Twice I've gone out to find kids playing in the back of my truck. Once there was six of them in there and three of them were on their bicycles!
Today I'm home early and trying to sleep off a major headache. Six or seven are running around outside my window screaming with fake cell phones ringing non-stop. Even with the windows closed I can still hear them loud and clear. I finally couldn't take it anymore and told them to piss off and find somewhere else to play. Finally a moments rest. Yeah, only a moment because they were soon replaced by an even larger group of little shits making more noise.
I keep reminding myself that kids will be kids but give me a freakin' break. Where the hell are the parents? I certainly can't find any. Better than half of these kids don't even live in the neighborhood. They need a service like animal control for children. Give them a call and they come to your neighborhood with nets and tranq guns. |
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07/19/2005 10:05:36 PM · #2 |
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07/19/2005 10:07:14 PM · #3 |
Originally posted by alansfreed:
Ummmm... move away? :) |
We're looking. It was such a nice place when I moved in just over 10 years ago. My SO keeps complaining it's turning into a ghetto. I think she's right. |
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07/19/2005 10:10:06 PM · #4 |
Originally posted by alansfreed:
Ummmm... move away? :) |
its easier to make threats, plus much more cost effective
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07/19/2005 10:22:22 PM · #5 |
You need to buy lots & lots & lots of cow manure to fertilize your lawn, lots! You may also want to fertilize your truck bed and offer to fertilize your neighbors' lawns too. What the heck, fertilize the sidewalk and road too.
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07/19/2005 10:25:53 PM · #6 |
I wouldn't want kids climbing all over my vehicles, so that would indeed stink... I do have my own neighborhood gripe, though: The Swearing Neighbors.
We live in a nice, quiet neighborhood with the exception of these IDIOTS who live just down the next street. Their backyard is a good 500' away from us, but I can constantly hear them swearing their lungs out at each other. They've even invented some new swear words that I wasn't previously familiar with.
I've called the police on them five times in the last several weeks. The police leave and they start right back up again. I've thought about hiding in the woods with one of those air horns and using it like a censor beep you hear on TV. It would at least startle them, I guess. |
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07/19/2005 11:06:44 PM · #7 |
Film them and create a 'use a condom ad' commercial with it (like that German or Scandanavian one or whatever it was that's floating around.
Or do what Slippy or Fetor have suggested.
:D
*don't hit me!*
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07/19/2005 11:30:40 PM · #8 |
| Shit, I was just agreeing about what monsters kids were and instead of posting it here I accidentally reported my own post. This should be amusing - assuming I didn't just accidentally get someone else in trouble. |
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07/19/2005 11:42:03 PM · #9 |
God bless abortion,RU487,Trojan....
LOL,you have more fun than me with the swarm of pigeons on my windows/balcony :-) |
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07/19/2005 11:42:47 PM · #10 |
Originally posted by mikasi:
Shit, I was just agreeing about what monsters kids were and instead of posting it here I accidentally reported my own post. This should be amusing - assuming I didn't just accidentally get someone else in trouble. |
That's pretty funny. I hope you don't work in a nuclear power plant, or as an air traffic controller.
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07/20/2005 12:24:48 AM · #11 |
Get a bunch of cats like the crazy Cat Lady in the Simpsons and whip the cats at the kids!
Crazy Cat Lady: Uh, this whole place is disgusting!
Marge: I agree. Hey! Aren't you that crazy cat lady.
Crazy Cat Lady: Yes I am, but thanks to this psychoactive medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.
Marge: Those are just Reece's Pieces!
Crazy Cat Lady: DAAAAAAAAAAHHHAAA
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07/20/2005 12:30:39 AM · #12 |
noisy, nosey, intrucing neighbors is what brought me out of the city and into the country....but that still was not quiet enough so I moved into the forest. Yep - we live out in the boonies wher there are no kids, no horns honking, no sirens half the night - just the sound of crickets, bullfrogs, and birds chirping in the morning. I love it here.
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07/20/2005 12:55:27 AM · #13 |
8:45 pm before the last one disappeared, hopefully, for the night. At one point there were 17 kids out there tonight like a roving band of baby Hell's Angels on bicycles and big wheels. They must be busing them in from other areas. The worst noise offenders seem to be the little girls. What on Earth possesses them to make those ear splitting shrill screams? I had sisters growing up. They didn't run around screaming all day.
I'm not fond of cats so having a whole bunch around just to throw at them, although extremely tempting, seems out of the question. Moving into the forest though sounds like it would be a dream come true.
Until then, I guess I'll have to stock up on manure. |
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07/20/2005 01:16:57 AM · #14 |
If you sit on your front steps and photograph the children, eventually their parents will come by to ask what the hell you're doing.
You can tell them you're collecting evidence so that you can tresspass, vandalism, and disturbing the peace complaints, and that you plan to post the photos on the internet so that other people who spot these same kids on their property can call in complaints more quickly.
Or, put your speakers on the front steps and pipe some nice loud but relaxing Lawrence Welk into the afternoon air. |
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07/20/2005 01:24:30 AM · #15 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Or, put your speakers on the front steps and pipe some nice loud but relaxing Lawrence Welk into the afternoon air. |
Lawrence Welk..... Good Lord, how cruel can you be. Surely you don't mean that... I mean.... they would be scarred for life, hehehee :O)
Ray |
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07/20/2005 01:24:36 AM · #16 |
or play some celine dion
her music makes the ears flow with orange goop
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07/20/2005 01:27:33 AM · #17 |
| Ray, desperate times call for desperate measures; to quote Barry Goldwater, "extremism in defense of liberty is no vice." |
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07/20/2005 02:31:30 AM · #18 |
Originally posted by GeneralE:
Or, put your speakers on the front steps and pipe some nice loud but relaxing Lawrence Welk into the afternoon air. |
Unfortunately, they might steel them though they might be too scared with Lawrence Welk being belted out of them.
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07/20/2005 02:42:49 AM · #19 |
Can you say.. car alarm??? although that really would just create more noise!
Funny that you say that the little girls were worse, I remember once my friends and I holding a screaming contest amongst ourselves. My father came out looking very- umm frizzled! and said what are you doing?!? I looked at him and said (what else) we're having a screaming contest! He got this look on his face I will never forget- complete exasperation. I didn't quite understand it at the time so once he went in we continued. He actually didn't come back out.
Now I think if I were him I would have beaten us... but I digress ;0) |
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07/20/2005 05:34:55 AM · #20 |
Dress up as a Catholic Priest, go outside and all the little boys in for refreshments. Their parents will keep them away after that. LOL
apologies to any decent, non-molesting clergymen
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07/20/2005 05:43:28 AM · #21 |
I'm a lovely child, you shouldn't generalise! :P
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07/20/2005 05:43:47 AM · #22 |
I heard a story ages ago......
A guy had just moved to an area and had been having problems with kids causing noise outside his house each night and knew that if he asked them to be quiet, they’d just be even louder.
So, one night he went out and thanked them for making so much noise. He explained how he came from a busy town centre and needed noise at night to help him get to sleep. He said he’d pay them a few pounds (or dollars…) each if they would keep the noise going for a few hours each night.
He did it for a few nights, told them that he couldn’t afford to keep paying them but asked if they would keep making the noise for free.
The kids didn’t want to do it for no money so left him alone hoping that he would get no sleep?
Might work!! :-) |
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07/20/2005 05:55:38 AM · #23 |
Originally posted by brownt:
I heard a story ages ago......
A guy had just moved to an area and had been having problems with kids causing noise outside his house each night and knew that if he asked them to be quiet, they’d just be even louder.
So, one night he went out and thanked them for making so much noise. He explained how he came from a busy town centre and needed noise at night to help him get to sleep. He said he’d pay them a few pounds (or dollars…) each if they would keep the noise going for a few hours each night.
He did it for a few nights, told them that he couldn’t afford to keep paying them but asked if they would keep making the noise for free.
The kids didn’t want to do it for no money so left him alone hoping that he would get no sleep?
Might work!! :-) |
I like that!!
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07/20/2005 06:18:28 AM · #24 |
I love kids, even tho I live on a side of a Romanian ghetto, and belive me I don't think there is anything in the world noisier than that. I get constant Noise 24 hours a day, even at night because I am in theyr parents way when they go to get drunk, but I get great photography subjects. :) Here is one I did a couple of days ago :) You can get used to the noise.
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07/20/2005 12:52:35 PM · #25 |
Originally posted by Fetor:
or play some celine dion
her music makes the ears flow with orange goop |
Oh my, never say that up here in Quebec! :P |
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